On embracing rural life.

This coming week marks 5 years since I packed up my little car and set sail to new adventures in Northern Ireland. I know I've written many times about how much life has changed since that day, and about how some of my wildest dreams came true after I decided to take the leap. I have always dreamed of living by the sea, and at this point the novelty has not worn off. We felt the affects of our location this weekend after being hit with another storm, but for me it adds to the drama and the beauty of our place. 
Connection to place is really important to me, and I wrote about that in a previous post (if you'd like to read it - follow this link). One of the things I love about living in a small place is that it doesn't take long to feel known or to make connections. I was reminded of this a few times in the last few weeks...once when I bought something random from Facebook Marketplace and stayed chatting with the seller for about 30 mins because it turned out she worked at the nursery with Finn. Another when we went to a local market and had lovely chats with people we've been regular customers of, bought some cakes from a lovely friend at her stall, and was treated to a cup made by a wonderful artist who I'd met at a party. One thing I have really noticed about this area is how much small businesses or artisans try to support each other. There are regular markets or events where you can make purchases from local people with lots of different options. We have so many talented, creative people around these parts and I love being able to see, purchase and support those people where I can. 

One of the downsides of rural living is of course that it takes longer to travel anywhere. It is about a 50 minute round trip to the nearest supermarket for us, and I'm struggling to find a time to go that really suits us now. We have tried having deliveries, but I often find that the choice isn't as good, we get substitutions and then have to visit another shop anyway, or the meat/fresh produce has a very short date so it has to be frozen or gets wasted. I sat and thought about how we could shop in a different way that might take less travel time, could help us budget differently, could support local small businesses and would free up our weekends so we weren't dragging two children around busy shops when they hate it! 

The first thing we have done is made a big list of all the things we need both weekly and monthly to help us keep a track of everything. Our new plan is to have a weekly budget that will help us keep on top of fresh things; dairy, breads, meat, fruit & veg and then do one monthly shop to help us fill in the gaps. We are also trying to budget in cash so we have a set budget for the week and can see exactly what we're spending. I have no idea what other people or families spend on weekly or monthly basis for food & essentials, but what I'm trying to break the habit of is going to smaller shops several times during the week because we tend to easily spend £10+ a time with very little to show for it! 

For the last few weeks we have been visiting local butchers to get all our meat from there with a roughly £20 budget for two of us. I've got advice on which things to freeze and what to use first, and we've been cooking and experimenting with new ingredients which has kept things interesting! That budget would get us a mix of chicken, burgers, sausages, mince, pork chops or a small roasting joint and this covers us for around 5 or 6 meals. The other days we would have something easy from the pantry or freezer and I usually make a slow cooker soup or stew of some sort. We think we've landed on a couple of Butchers that we like and will revisit, and we hope they will get to know the kind of things we are after if we become regular customers. 

We have also found a way of getting fresh fruit, veg & eggs delivered weekly from a local farm. I was surprised about how affordable this would be for us as there is more than enough to serve several meals. Our latest order included leeks, potatoes, carrots, parsnips, eggs, peppers, onions, apples & oranges and it cost less than £11. The quality is great and the size of some of the vegetables is probably two or three times what it would be in the supermarket! I ordered some last minute a few days ago ahead of our Sunday Roast and was met by the farmer himself at their honesty box who had prepared everything in a crate for me to pick up. I thought this would also be a great way for us to buy what's in season rather than rely on lots of imported produce.

Our new way of shopping has also helped me try new recipes which I always enjoy, and I thought I'd share a few of our new regulars here...
Pork Chops
Slow cooker beef + homemade gravy

Tuna Pasta Bake (a good one to use pantry supplies)

Caramelised onions (great with sausages - we had these in brioche hotdog buns!)
Bolognese with Orzo (I use a similar recipe to this but can't link it as it was an Instagram reel, but Orzo is so handy!)

The main goal with all these changes is to have more quality time together, especially on a weekend. We want to make sure our budget allows us to give the boys some fun experiences and to free up what precious time we have together on a weekend instead of visiting supermarkets and busy places. The added benefit of shopping locally means we know exactly where our food is coming from and we can get to know the producers. I also really enjoy the process of making things from scratch and creating good quality meals for us. It's all part of the 'hygge' concept that I adore.
And who knew that by adapting some new habits, we'd bring such a fun object into the house that has now become part of the furniture....

     Much love xx

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On becoming four.

I sit to write this as our second son is on the eve of turning 8 weeks old. I can hardly believe where the last few weeks have gone, but I know that it has been a bit of a blur. I think yesterday was the first time that I felt I could see the wood for the trees as I have started thinking about what my needs are again, and what I need to do to look after me so I can give my best to my family. 

Zachary Arthur joined our family just a few hours after his due date in January. This whole pregnancy seemed to fly by, I think mainly because I worked (part-time) right up until I was due, whilst running around after a very busy toddler and nesting for our new arrival. I feel so grateful that this pregnancy went so smoothly, and although it was a lot more tiring and I had a lot of pelvic discomfort, it went pretty much without a hitch. This time around I had decided against induction as I was determined to do it on my own terms. That did last until just before 40 weeks and I'd turned down induction but then I changed my mind and tried to book it but wasn't allowed until I'd hit 41 weeks as the policy had changed! That spurred me on to help my body begin labour naturally and I can't be sure what helped the most, or if it was a mix of things, but I did enter the early stages of labour on the Sunday before Zach arrived at 6am on the Tuesday. 

It was so strange because I woke up on the Sunday morning and decided we should all go for brunch at a new cafe that we'd been talking about because I didn't think we'd get the chance again. Right as I was getting dressed, I realised that perhaps labour had started so we went straight out before it was too late! Later that evening I did start getting contractions, but they were too far apart for me to go to the hospital. I felt so disappointed that whole day, but as I had childcare, I just did everything I could to get things going. I took a long walk, sat on my pregnancy ball, did the 'miles circuit,' and took a bath. It was after my bath that the contractions came back and started getting stronger. We quickly sorted the house to get the sofa ready for our helpers in case we were told to go the hospital. The timings were still a bit hit and miss, so we decided to go to bed, but it was part way through watching a comedy show on TV that I realised they were getting more painful and closer together. We phoned the hospital and they told us to head up as we are about a 40 minute drive away. My hospital bags were already in the car, so we waited for our help to arrive, I put on my TENS machine (absolute saviour for both labours!) and then we hit the road. I did get really nervous on the way because they seemed to get less frequent and I didn't want to get turned away as I was so ready to have him. 

We were admitted to the 'Emergency Obstetrics Unit' where I was examined and it turned out I was already at 5cm, so we were going home with a baby! The hospital did admit that they messed up again (this happened with my first birth) because nobody had talked through my birthing plan with me, so it all had to be done there and then. We were offered the Home from Home ward again (this is limited on pain relief and is for low risk births) or the labour ward. As I wanted to have another water birth, I said I would do the labour ward if I could have the pool. Thankfully it was available so we moved up to our private room and they got the pool ready. The whole experience was so different this time around. I think because we had 3 midwives with us the whole time who were asking me questions, updating me, encouraging me and supporting me. They also let me have a cup of tea during labour! I decided not to have the IV inserted because it wasn't mandatory and I only had gas and air as  my pain relief the whole time. This is mainly because I don't like how any of the other pain relief is administered (I'm not a big fan of anything medical, so pregnancy and birth has really tested that!) and during my first labour I did have a morphine shot towards the end but I think it was too late to do anything anyway! I spent most of the time in the pool, taking a break to have my waters broken (this speeds things up). I vividly remember having a contraction and saying to T that I couldn't do it anymore because I was in so much pain, but I have learnt since that this is very common and is usually a sign that baby is going to arrive in a few pushes. This time around I listened to my body so much more and waited until it told me to push. After 6 hours in stage 1 labour and a cool 5 minutes (!!) of pushing in the 2nd stage, Zach arrived into my arms. He was a bit shocked, so he had to receive some immediate care in the room which was unnerving for us, but when we heard his cry we knew he was ok. 

Zach and I stayed in overnight in our own little room, which meant we could be checked on regularly and I could get some rest. Although, I would say I slept no more than a couple of hours because we were constantly interrupted by different people so I was absolutely exhausted. Thankfully T dropped off my laptop so I could watch Friends! We were able to come home the next evening after getting signed off and the midwives were arranged to come to our house the next morning. We headed home to begin our life as a family of four...

Finn has adapted incredibly well to our new noisy addition. The first thing he says to me every morning is "Zachy?" and it melts me. He loves tapping his head or helping put his dummy in. His routine has remained the same, and I think this has helped him adjust to us sharing our attention with two of them. I am so proud of how much he takes everything in his stride! The first few weeks for us were very challening as Zach fed so much and sleep was fairly non-existent. I think for me the broken sleep is the killer, so we had to keep taking it in turns to settle Zach at night and either sleep on the sofa or bring him up in the early hours of the morning. I think we are now taking a really positive turn as Zach is taking bigger feeds which is helping him settle so much more. He is happy sleeping in his next-to-me and loves having white noise on in the background. He also loves being in the bath, so we will soon increase that to be part of his daily routine to encourage him to get some really good rest. 

As I mentioned at the beginning, I have been so all consumed by motherhood and running our home that I have totally neglected myself. This can only go on for so long before you hit burnout, and I think in the last week or so that's where I ended up. T and I have had long conversations about what I need and how he can support me to get that. I think my biggest struggle is switching off whilst I'm at home, so we agreed that what I need to do is take some time, even a few hours a week, to get out of the house and go for a beach walk, visit the shops (just for fun, not for errands!), to see or call a friend, to sit in a coffee shop, to read somewhere or even just go for a drive. He encouraged me to go out yesterday for a couple of hours and it was amazing how much difference it made for me. I had a lovely long paddle in the sea and it just brought me back to earth and gave me space to think. I reminded myself that I can't pour from an empty cup. I also need to remember not to 'sweat the small stuff,' and when I do slow down and reflect back, I can see that we have done our very best and we are doing a good job. Our boys are so happy and any time I see their beautiful smiles, it's all the encouragement I need. 

My plan for the next few weeks is to take each day as it comes and to make the very most of this precious time I have with my boys before I return to work. It hit me yesterday that I won't get this time back again, so I want to soak every last minute of it up, even though some days are hard! I need to be much, much kinder to myself and focus more on the positives. I also need to slow down and let myself take a break when I need it. I want to find some space to do something creative and perhaps find a new hobby outside the house. I want to pick my blog back up a bit more as it is so theraputic for me to write, and I'm enjoying having more time to cook/bake and try out new recipes/meal plans for us. We recently got a new dining table as we haven't really sat together as a family for while and I love getting that ready for us to enjoy evening meals together. It always helps reconnect us as it's such a special time away from screens to sit and catch up with each other. I feel so incredibly grateful for my little family, and for all the support in various forms from family and friends both nearby and afar. We could not have got through this huge change on our own and our boys are so lucky to have them in their 'village.'

As I conclude this post...I would love any of your TV/Movie/YouTube/Podcast/Hobby/Book or Audiobook recommendations to help me switch off! 

Much love, 

S x

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