Goodbye, Flowers...

These are my last two weeks in Chester and of the many things I am going to miss, the beautiful flowers that adorn the University of Chester campus are one of the main ones. 

It sounds silly, but I vividly remember stepping onto that campus on an open day and seeing these flowers made me know it was to be my new home. Subsequently, I didn't go visit a single other University because this one was mine! Not once have I regretted that decision, and now it is all coming to an end I am feeling very emotional. There are many goodbyes to be made, but it is time for us all to move on to the next season of our lives.

I went for a walk to the library today to take a few books back and took some pictures of the beautiful flowers that I have loved seeing throughout my time here...

This rose is in our garden and blooms at random intervals:

This is my favourite bit of campus:

Alliums are my second favourite flower, so I was very happy to stumble upon these today:

The Cross in the sunshine: 

This was so colourful! 

The view of my favourite garden: 

Long live the British sunshine, I'm enjoying an excuse to drink cider all day and have regular BBQ's. And thankyou, Chester...you are a place of true beauty and I will miss you xxxx

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We are the free...

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about insecurity. I hate insecurity. It has absolutely no place whatsoever in any of us, and yet we let it consume us. It holds us back from opportunities, it creates fear, it damages friendships, it lessens our self-esteem and tells us we’re not good enough. 

If insecurity has it’s way, then we could miss out on something huge. It forces us to dwell only in our comfort zones so that we stay where we are because it is easier. But why? Why do we let this happen? I did throughout my whole childhood, for most of my life I couldn’t bring myself to look at my own reflection, I hid behind baggy, dull clothes and avoided cameras like the plague. Until I realised life shouldn’t have to be like that. 

If we are bound by insecurity and fear, then are we truly living ‘life to the full?’ John 10:10. I don’t see how we can be! This isn’t what we were created for. Christianity isn’t about ‘looking’ the part, it’s a lot more inward than that. It’s security in the image in which God created you that makes you beautiful and attractive. It’s knowing that no matter how many times you and I mess up that we are ALWAYS loved, ALWAYS welcomed home with open arms. It’s not about rules, or what we can’t do. It’s about what we CAN do with the freedom we have been given. I always talk about my mistakes, because I’m not afraid of them, I’m human I make them all the time and I’ve come to terms with that! I learn from that. 


This is how we help each other grow: honesty. 

Another side effect of insecurity is being afraid of weakness. Over the past few months, I have been weak. I have had to overcome pride (something I didn’t really know I had!) to admit that I wasn't strong enough to cope on my own anymore. This is stupid too. When we are weak, we need people. All the way through my life, I had been the strong and together one, who was fine on her own and didn’t need anyone else’s help. Not anymore! I reached a point where I didn’t want to be alone anymore, I wanted people to help me through it and in turn I now feel strong enough to help other people in the same situation. When we are honest about how we feel, we open the door to let others in. People want to help, to listen, to care, to nurture, to support and to love - and we have to let them sometimes! This is what family is all about, we weren’t created to do this alone rather we make each other stronger. Weakness is not a bad thing that we have to avoid. 

'But He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weakness, so that Christ's power may rest on me. 2 Corinthians 12:9

We were created for freedom...don't miss out on what life has to offer you, take every opportunity you are given, life is too short to regret! God has something wonderful in store for you, I know it. 

xxx

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What Private Life?

After a few tough months, I can finally feel my heart stirring again. I had a wonderful lunch today with a passionate lady who has been thinking over similar things to me. I got to thinking about this whole social networking scene, and how we are beginning to lose our privacy. 


Now, I'm as guilty as anyone about throwing all my personal information all over facebook as I guess I thought people cared. But lately, I've become a lot more selective about what goes on there. Does anyone actually care if I was 'with six other people at Nandos' or does anyone really want to see a picture of what I had for tea last night? The truth is I don't think anyone gives two hoots. So why do we feel the need to do it? Is it an insecurity thing? An attention thing? Does it make us feel better about ourselves if we get '10 likes' for our latest status? In the grand scheme of things what does it really matter? Our worth doesn't come from things such as those. 


I'm starting to re-find the joy in doing things that nobody else needs to know about. Truthfully, in my house at the moment I can't get away with leaving the house without everyone wondering where I'm going, but i'm trying to keep some things private. Everyone doesn't need to know who I've been with, what we talked about, where we went - because those things happened in that moment, for us, not for anyone else. 


When I think about relationships, (though I am not in one - I will relate this to God instead) I think about how there are things that no-one else needs to know. Phone calls you might have, romantic gestures, dates , conversations etc. Those things are for you two to enjoy together, and they should be private. It should be your choice whether or not you want to share that with anyone. When I look to the Bible, there are plenty of times when Jesus would remove himself from being with everyone, and he would take himself away to a mountain and he would sit with God. It would be their time to enjoy each other. Who knows what Jesus prayed about, what he thought about in those moments but God? No-one. That is how it should be. Those are precious moments that mean something to you and to God. 


What I am trying to say is that there is nothing wrong with holding back parts of you and your relationships that the whole world doesn't need (or want) to know. I am pretty sure that for most of the cack I've put on facebook in the past, (to quote Ross) 'no-one even gives a tiny rats ass' about it. So why do feel the need to do it!? It is our choice whether or not we put ourselves that much on display. I have decided I'm going to think more about what I show to the world, and what I keep for friendships and other relationships. I remember people used to say that texting was 'ruining the art of coversation' and I thought that was stupid. But with all these technological advancements, we really are losing the art of building relationships and instead we are throwing ourselves all over social networking. There has to be a healthy balance!

From this day forwards, I vow to spend more time building real life relationships, think about improving my friendships and meeting new people, with less time spent building virtual communities and wasting hours of my life on facebook.

The old fashioned way of actually being with people is a much better use of our time. :)

xx

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The Future...

In little over a month, my life as a student will be over. I will be packing up my room into (many, many) bags and waving goodbye to this delightful little city. The more I think about it, the more I look forward to that moment of handing in my final EVER essay. That moment is significant for a few reasons, but my favourite reason is that it will mark the first point in my life where I officially have NO responsibility. Absolutely zero. I will have no rent to pay for, no outstanding deadlines, no books owed to the library (so long as I find that one lost book this weekend), no job I have to turn up to etc. I have NOTHING.

Whilst that thought is a bit overwhelming, I can't help but be excited about it. Realistically, I will never be in that place again in my life. I absolutely plan on having children at some point in the future and with that, comes a lifelong responsibility. So, this is IT. This is my time to make my crazy decisions...I could go anywhere in the world. I have nothing to tie me down to any place. I will be completely free to make whatever decision I want to. This means I am thinking as big as possible...for, you only get to have this adventure once!
I am hoping some huge opportunities will come my way that allow me to live the life of freedom that I have always dreamt of. A big part of my heart is hoping America has something to do with this, as that has always been my biggest dream! As I was praying just now, this picture popped into my head:

I guess we will see...no dream is too big for those with great Faith, and a an even greater God. 

x x x 

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