On embracing rural life.

This coming week marks 5 years since I packed up my little car and set sail to new adventures in Northern Ireland. I know I've written many times about how much life has changed since that day, and about how some of my wildest dreams came true after I decided to take the leap. I have always dreamed of living by the sea, and at this point the novelty has not worn off. We felt the affects of our location this weekend after being hit with another storm, but for me it adds to the drama and the beauty of our place. 
Connection to place is really important to me, and I wrote about that in a previous post (if you'd like to read it - follow this link). One of the things I love about living in a small place is that it doesn't take long to feel known or to make connections. I was reminded of this a few times in the last few weeks...once when I bought something random from Facebook Marketplace and stayed chatting with the seller for about 30 mins because it turned out she worked at the nursery with Finn. Another when we went to a local market and had lovely chats with people we've been regular customers of, bought some cakes from a lovely friend at her stall, and was treated to a cup made by a wonderful artist who I'd met at a party. One thing I have really noticed about this area is how much small businesses or artisans try to support each other. There are regular markets or events where you can make purchases from local people with lots of different options. We have so many talented, creative people around these parts and I love being able to see, purchase and support those people where I can. 

One of the downsides of rural living is of course that it takes longer to travel anywhere. It is about a 50 minute round trip to the nearest supermarket for us, and I'm struggling to find a time to go that really suits us now. We have tried having deliveries, but I often find that the choice isn't as good, we get substitutions and then have to visit another shop anyway, or the meat/fresh produce has a very short date so it has to be frozen or gets wasted. I sat and thought about how we could shop in a different way that might take less travel time, could help us budget differently, could support local small businesses and would free up our weekends so we weren't dragging two children around busy shops when they hate it! 

The first thing we have done is made a big list of all the things we need both weekly and monthly to help us keep a track of everything. Our new plan is to have a weekly budget that will help us keep on top of fresh things; dairy, breads, meat, fruit & veg and then do one monthly shop to help us fill in the gaps. We are also trying to budget in cash so we have a set budget for the week and can see exactly what we're spending. I have no idea what other people or families spend on weekly or monthly basis for food & essentials, but what I'm trying to break the habit of is going to smaller shops several times during the week because we tend to easily spend £10+ a time with very little to show for it! 

For the last few weeks we have been visiting local butchers to get all our meat from there with a roughly £20 budget for two of us. I've got advice on which things to freeze and what to use first, and we've been cooking and experimenting with new ingredients which has kept things interesting! That budget would get us a mix of chicken, burgers, sausages, mince, pork chops or a small roasting joint and this covers us for around 5 or 6 meals. The other days we would have something easy from the pantry or freezer and I usually make a slow cooker soup or stew of some sort. We think we've landed on a couple of Butchers that we like and will revisit, and we hope they will get to know the kind of things we are after if we become regular customers. 

We have also found a way of getting fresh fruit, veg & eggs delivered weekly from a local farm. I was surprised about how affordable this would be for us as there is more than enough to serve several meals. Our latest order included leeks, potatoes, carrots, parsnips, eggs, peppers, onions, apples & oranges and it cost less than £11. The quality is great and the size of some of the vegetables is probably two or three times what it would be in the supermarket! I ordered some last minute a few days ago ahead of our Sunday Roast and was met by the farmer himself at their honesty box who had prepared everything in a crate for me to pick up. I thought this would also be a great way for us to buy what's in season rather than rely on lots of imported produce.

Our new way of shopping has also helped me try new recipes which I always enjoy, and I thought I'd share a few of our new regulars here...
Pork Chops
Slow cooker beef + homemade gravy

Tuna Pasta Bake (a good one to use pantry supplies)

Caramelised onions (great with sausages - we had these in brioche hotdog buns!)
Bolognese with Orzo (I use a similar recipe to this but can't link it as it was an Instagram reel, but Orzo is so handy!)

The main goal with all these changes is to have more quality time together, especially on a weekend. We want to make sure our budget allows us to give the boys some fun experiences and to free up what precious time we have together on a weekend instead of visiting supermarkets and busy places. The added benefit of shopping locally means we know exactly where our food is coming from and we can get to know the producers. I also really enjoy the process of making things from scratch and creating good quality meals for us. It's all part of the 'hygge' concept that I adore.
And who knew that by adapting some new habits, we'd bring such a fun object into the house that has now become part of the furniture....

     Much love xx

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On nesting and preparing.

I'm sure we all feel the same, but I've been sat wondering where this year has disappeared to. We found out that baby #2 was on the way back in April, but decided this time to make sure everything was looking OK at our 12 week scan before we shared the news with anyone. That's perhaps one of the reasons this pregnancy has absolutely flown by, but I suppose that life is also much busier than it was the first time around. Finn is keeping us very busy with his curious, active mind, and we still have the same responsibilities of work and running our home, with added hospital/midwife/doctor appointments so each week has felt very full. 

My nesting instincts this time have felt pretty strong, but in a different way than with Finn. I remember obsessively cleaning the bathroom every night before bed and having everything in his nursery meticulously organised. This time around I know we have time post-birth to get the baby room sorted because he will sleep in our room for the first few months, and all his clothes are already washed and ready to go. We do need to get some things back out of storage, but I've focussed on the bigger things we needed like a double buggy, cosy wintery clothes and a better moses basket that should last longer this time. Instead of the things I obsessed over last time like baby toiletries (most of which I donated because Finn has sensitive skin/eczema so we only really use one brand or prescription cream), I've been trying to stock up on pantry items so we have easy things to cook & reach for when we need it post-partum. We have the added benefit of knowing the things we actually needed for Finn, so that has helped cut out a lot of unnecessary spending, which is a blessing because our budget will be very tight! 

Everything in me wants to hibernate at this point, and I feel happiest when I'm at home, in my matching pyjama set (secretly hoping Santa might bring me more PJs!) with a hot chocolate. Our festive decorations have been up a while because it helps me feel so cosy, and I can't even say how many Hallmark movies I've already watched and it's not yet December. We are trying to cut down on gifts this year and keep everything minimal as we need to prepare for me going on Maternity Leave. We are focusing on the theme of "Something to read, do, share, wear, need and want," which has meant sticking to a budget and not going overboard. I wanted to start this now so we can continue this tradition down the line and not give in to the pressure of overspending at this time of year. I think it also makes you shop more creatively which is fun! I've also taken a break from social media which usually helps me focus on being present, and takes another distraction away (or temptation to shop based on whatever has come up in my feed!) I do this fairly regularly when my brain is feeling a bit overloaded, but it's also nice to not feel compelled to share so much about my daily life and just enjoy whatever each day brings.

I bought these from Etsy

I can feel myself getting pretty tired at this point, so I am trying really hard not to push myself but instead find ways to make life easier. That has meant switching to online grocery shopping, saving trips until the weekend so we can go together, or doing a lot of my Christmas shopping spread across the last few months and wrapping as I go, so most of that is already taken care of. I'm still taking Finn out for a walk every day which is good for both of us, but I've cut down on extra trips throughout the week as it is a bit of a strain for me to get him in and out of things or up and down the stairs all day. In my mind, I almost feel like I'm admitting defeat much sooner than I did last pregnancy, but in reality, we truly haven't had a week without extra appointments, random things going wrong in the house, sickness (and therefore extra Dr visits), disturbed nights due to teething and everything in-between. I have possibly mentioned this before, but we live fairly far from most things, so any trip to the hospital is about 40 minutes there and back and requires extra planning this time around as Finn likes to see what's going on and roam around, so it's easier not to take him! This week I have picked up a version of what Finn is at the tail end of, which means a sore throat and feeling rundown so we are preparing for a slow and easy weekend.

For now, I'm going back to my bubble as we take time to slow down, enjoy everything about the festive season and get ready for the arrival of baby boy. Lots of love, Sarah x

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On restoring our space.

I know there's a common message about January, that it lasts about 234,857 days, but for me, this month has flown by. As I said previously, we were working on rearranging the house & it finally feels like that project is about completed. It's funny with things like this, you really see your true personalities coming out. I learnt again that I just want to push really hard & get it all done as soon as possible, & Tom has a much more laid back/last minute (!) approach, which about partway through the project caused us to pause, re-group & come up with a plan to power through. It was so hard to know what to do first because in-between caring for Finn & taking him to classes, Tom working full-time, me working part-time & the rest of the everyday house jobs needing to be done, it was a LOT to manage! Every room in the house felt chaotic to me because there were boxes, bags, clothes, toys & everything else everywhere.
Given that we now have lots of extra toys/clothes/blankets, and all the other "stuff" that comes with a baby in the house, we soon realised we just didn't have enough storage, so that was what we focussed on. We only painted one room, & we decided after originally prepping the small room as Finn's room that it wouldn't be big enough for him, so we did all the work of getting the bigger bedroom ready for him to move into in a few months now before we have a crawler on our hands!! We have now created a small office space & will soon move our beloved changing table away so we can free up the rest of the office room to store other things. I've been going out finding cheap storage options & found some underbed storage bags that are HUGE in Lidl along with other plastic boxes so we can stack everything away in cupboards & get them out when needed. I also found some really cheap hanging storage which we can use for his baby toiletries by the new changing station that sits on a chest of drawers & another will go downstairs somewhere, probably in the kitchen! It just feels a lot more like we know where everything is now & there's a better sense of order. 

My new favourite space in the house is our little corner in the living room by the window with this beautiful rocking chair so I can sit & read there. Full disclosure, our clothes airer has become a bit of a permnanent fixture just next it because at the moment it feels like a never-ending task to stay on top of that! Whilst Tom was building new furniture, I was listing the old stuff online & we did really well to shift everything. Tom did several trips to the recycling centre to take all the cardboard & I did some charity shop runs & still have a few bags ready to go. I recently saw an idea to put numbers 1-30 on separate pieces of paper & put them in a jar - you pick a number out each day & whatever number you choose is the number of things you need to giveaway/donate. I'm going to try that for February; it can be anything as small as a book, a t-shirt, anything you no longer need. I might not be able to donate that number of things, but I think it will give me a good thing to focus on & will help us continue to declutter. Alongside that, I'm going to have a "no online shopping" month. I found that whilst I took a break from social media I ended up opening more emails from different places advertising sales - so I definitely need to kick that habit! I have actually had a number of hiccups with items getting delivered anyway; I am fairly certain that Evri took on a bad driver & my parcel was stolen (I know it wasn't our usual driver because I saw him the today & asked him about it!) & I have a feeling I'm about to get stung on something we needed for Finn because I didn't realise the shop didn't send all their products directly & I've had it before where some companies won't ship to NI from Mainland UK but no-one ever makes that clear. 

For Finn's new room we chose the colour "Nordic Sky" & after seeing lots of winter clothes in the arctic animal theme (which I am SO excited for him to wear!), I found some of the cutest wall stickers to put in places that Finn can see them. I have cried several times throughout this process as I think about how fast time is going (he is 4 months next week!), how quickly he is growing & how he's changing all the time. It's so exciting to see his personality coming out & we loved creating this space for him but I'm sure like every parent, a part of me wants him to stay this little forever! I have just started taking him to the swimming pool as he seems to take after me & is a water baby so I really want to encourage that. I also shed a tear the first time I took him there! For the first few months of taking Finn out, I/we had only been staying fairly local so didn't take loads of things with us but as we are going out more often & for longer, I decided to finally invest in a "mum" backpack which has 18 pockets & is the best thing ever! It fits all our swimming gear & bottles/flasks & everything else we could possibly need! I found it on Amazon (I know not everyone agrees with this!) & it was 20% off but is really good quality.

Doing all this work helped me to see that ultimately with whatever project I come up with, I am always seeking peace. That is why the word "Shalom" is at the centre of our home. I really believe that a peaceful home makes for a more peaceful life & to me it just feels better to have some sense of order about the place. Of course, having toys laying around & the laundry hanging are the things that make it lived in so I hope it will always have that balance. I've noticed lately that when I take Finn out he is so much quieter than when he's at home which shows me this is the place he feels safe & comfortable, so we must be doing something right! 

This weekend I am taking a whole day to myself to go off to the big smoke - I've only had one day on my own since Finn was born that was just for me & that was cut short because I was so worried about getting out of the house quickly before he woke up that I forgot my phone! I keep planning all the shops I'll browse & how many coffee shops it's reasonable to visit in one day. For now, Finn has woken up from his morning nap, the laundry is calling & soon he will be hungry again!

Much love x 

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On finding our place.

I can't believe it's coming up to four years since I moved to NI. The amount that has happened in that time, both good & bad, is impossible to quantify! Having moved around a few times, I've learnt that there are certain things I need to have in place before somewhere truly feels like "home." I'm sure this list would be different for everyone, but it dawned on me this week that I do feel like I've finally found my feet here, particularly in the village we have lived in for almost a year. 

Walking is truly one of my favourite pastimes, not only is it the best way to get to know a place, but I find it helps you notice the seasons more as you watch the colours changing. And now I have a buddy with me! I take Finn on walks as often as I can because it is so good for us both to get out for some fresh air. It's the best time for me to clear my mind & he usually falls asleep as he loves the white noise & being cosy in his pram. We went down the road one day this week & that is what inspired this post. As we set off, we saw our neighbour coming back from a dog walk & he warned me it was a bit wild by the seafront. We also waved at a fellow regular baby-walker (I think he's a grandad) who always wears a flourescent yellow jacket whilst speed-walking with his pram & goes out at a similar time to me. We saw Tom's Nana's knitting friend who likes to look out for Finn as we walk past her house most days & she regularly hears about him & we waved at one of two delivery drivers who love to chat to us when they drop parcels off. The one who I know a bit better asked me this week if & when Finn would be getting a sibling!! Once we got home, I sat & thought about how nice it is to walk around & feel like you know people in your area. For this reason, a regular walking spot is definitely something I need in "my place." 

I have a few different walks that I used to do most weekends by myself as Tom is usually working but I'm only just starting to feel brave enough to do those by myself with Finn. It's a lot to get used to all the extra things you need to take with you & I like to go out as soon as he's finished a feed because that gives me maximum time to relax & enjoy the walk & usually a coffee. Funnily enough, most of my favourite walks end up in a good coffee shop, which I'll talk about more below. But, if you're ever in the area, these are my favourites: 

Bridewell Coffee - Donaghadee // Firebox - Ballywalter // Haptik - Newtownards // Copeland Distillery - Donaghadee // Joxer - Bangor // Lekker - Greyabbey

It will be unsurprising for many who know me, but finding the right 'regular' coffee shop is an absolute must. I was recently thinking about the coffee shop back home that we spent half of our teenage years in - it was always our meeting point & we spent every Saturday in there for years, plus at some point nearly all my friends worked there, including myself. They did such a good chicken & pesto mayo sandwich that I need to recreate! Since then, I've not really had my regular spot. But I stumbled upon one recently (pictured above & below) that I went to with a visiting friend & just knew it was the one. It's pretty tiny but it has a gorgeous view, lovely coffee & locally made treats plus a nice little walk around the grounds that we can enjoy afterwards. We had a visit there yesterday & it was such a sweet little trip where Finn fell asleep so I enjoyed a hot coffee in peace.

There are lots of other things that I think make a place feel like home. I am not really one for getting 'pampered,' but I do love getting my nails done & had my favourite spot in Yorkshire that I loved going to for different treatments. I've been looking for the right place for a while & have finally found someone who is local & does my nails how I like them. She is very reasonably priced & getting my nails done is one of the only times I go out in an evening these days so it's something I want to keep up with when I can a few times a year. I just went recently & decided to go super girly with pink & a glitter top! 

I mentioned in the last post that we are busy making changes in our home to make it more functional. A few different things arrived this week so we are almost ready to start the re-arranging. We need to choose a paint colour for the only room we are painting & then we can start building the furniture. I was able to shift a lot of our other things through Marketplace which has freed up some space & then this week I plan on going to a couple of my favourite charity shops to drop off some donations. I've never used Vinted but I want to sit & put some baby clothes on there & see how that goes! We've just put down the classic foam tiles so Finn can test out tummy-time & laying on his back on there. I bought them before he was born because they were on offer (!) but the health visitor came this week & said he is definitely ready to roll (at 3 months!) so we want to give him a comfortable space to test that out. I ordered one new print with a quote that I have loved for many years & found the cutest design from Violet & Alfie via Etsy (they were all discounted!) so I am excited to find a frame for that & add it to the corner of the living room that I'm imagining will be a bit of a reading nook. 

This week has been a much better pace for me than the weeks that preceeded & I am definitely starting to feel more on top of things. I've enjoyed being back in the kitchen because I've hardly cooked lately so this week I wrote a big list & went out to do the food shop whilst Tom was at home with Finn. It feels like forever since I had a meal plan but this week I made Tom's favourite 'fruity curry,' a beef hotpot & I've put our favourite BBQ pulled chicken in the slow cooker for tonight. We've had some lovely walks but taken it easy after Finn had his 2nd vaccinations this week. I started taking vitamins again & feel like I have more energy, plus it helped me finally kick my sore throat post-Covid! Everything just feels a lot more peaceful, something which I hope will continue for as long as possible. 

Much love xx 

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On entering motherhood.

I've realised that however much I intend to sit down and write here, somehow months pass, or in this case - a year has passed - and it always takes me by surprise. But I went for a walk today and whilst watching the waves and clearing my mind it felt like the perfect time to jot down some thoughts. 

At the start of 2022 we learnt that I was pregnant, and although that moment was something I'd dreamed of for as long as I can remember, we couldn't believe it was real. I'm certainly not the first to say that from that moment on, life as you know it is completely different. My body was already changing and we had lots of preparations to make. What followed was a series of other huge life changes including having to switch jobs and undergo a house move. Packing and moving was incredibly stressful but we were so grateful to be in a much more suitable home for us to welcome a baby and we still live very close to the sea.

My pregnancy was pretty straightforward save for the fact that I have always really struggled with anything medical including injections/shots and up until my first hospital appointment, I'd never even had a blood test. All the things I went through following that were very hard for me mentally and I had to find my own coping mechanisms. I told all doctors/nurses/midwives not to describe what they were about to do and that seemed to help me to channel my mind to deal with the situation. At the time of birth, I had a constant supply of gas & air so that helped too! 

I went 12 days overdue (so my September baby became an October baby!) and chose to have an induction to get things moving. Although childbirth was absolutely handsdown the hardest thing I've ever done in my life, I was so grateful that I was able to have the water birth I'd hoped for. It was such a calm experience and I remember all the midwives coming in to our room in the hours that followed saying how relaxed the room was. It just all felt so meant to be. As soon as he arrived, it felt like he had always been here with us. Such a miracle. 

Finn Shepherd has changed our lives in the most wonderful way. Watching him grow, change and learn each day is such a joy. Whenever he smiles it's like nothing else in the world matters because I know he is happy. I am proud of how Tom and I have adjusted to our new addition and we've focused on giving each other what we need to refresh and keep going. For me, that looks like taking my sacred hour or so in the evening for a long hot bubble bath, usually with a podcast/audiobook/music or just silence. I also became pretty obsessed with skincare whilst I was pregnant so I like to take my time to do that nightly ritual. My walks with Finn double up as self-care for me because I love being outdoors and looking at the sea, plus it's good for my healing to get myself moving. The pram usually sends Finn to sleep so then I get some quiet time once we get back home too. I'm slowly learning to use the nap times to pick up things like crafts or reading and other times I can quickly do jobs in the house like prep a slow cooker meal, do laundry or other small things. Some days none of that is possible if Finn wants to use me as a human sofa and that's just fine by me!

I've learnt how much Tom and I both love routine and rituals and we've both naturally fallen into our own roles that help keep everything going. I think for us that's helped maintain a calm and peaceful home, but we know that Finn is the priority and the other things can wait. I've focussed on making our home as cosy as possible so we can all relax and enjoy a positive environment. I recently read "My Hygge Home" by Meik Wiking [find it here] and that gave me some great ideas about how to foster connection in the home. I have read all his books and found the concept of 'hygge' pretty transformational after I read his first book a few years ago [find it here]. I'm sure I've written about it before! 

I have felt quite protective over our newborn bubble and although we have gone on trips the three of us or I've taken Finn out by myself, I am not putting any pressure on us to do that too often at this stage. We enjoy being home and having the comfort of the routine we are building and that just feels too precious to me to disrupt it too much. I've decided to wait until the new year before trying different groups and activities with Finn so we can all just soak up the comfort of home for as long as possible. I know it will be good for both of us to socialise and have new experiences but at the moment we are happy as we are! 

Most of the time, I can't believe it's all happening and I'm actually a Mum. I cherish the moments when Finn and I just stare at each other, trying to take each other in and figure each other out. The love I feel for him is wild. Watching him and Tom bond is like nothing else. I can't wait to watch Finn grow and discover and to see the world through his eyes. We have so many memories to make!

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On walking and peace.

A couple of years ago on one of my internet based tangents, I stumbled upon a book called 'The little book of Hygge' by Meik Wiking. Intrigued, I added it to my Christmas List and read it in one sitting. I loved every page. The concept of Hygge; cosiness, togetherness, slowing down, being present - these were all things I wanted to do more and be less 'busy.' I became obsessed with buying candles and trying to create a cosy atmosphere to invite people into. Sitting around a fire, putting on blankets, drinking hot chocolates and having slow days with people I love - it put such a different spin on what was already my favourite season (autumn) leading into what felt like a very long winter last year.

As soon as spring came, I decided it was time to put the blankets to one side and step out to enjoy the sun whilst it lasted (being classically British and pessimistic toward the weather). When the nights became longer, I started going on evening walks - just locally or in nearby parks. It became part of my rhythm and soon, part of my freedom and healing. 

Until I started walking and taking a break from screens, I didn't realise how busy my head had become. There wasn't much space for creativity or new ideas, not much silence or being in the here and now. It's funny how something so simple can be so profound. But I started to notice so much more; different trees, beautiful flowers, animals, birdsong, strangers walking their dogs, the views, the wind or the sound of silence. Walking started to bring me back to the moment and began to make way for new ideas, solutions to work problems, changes to make or things to let go. In fact, I've written this blog post in my head on just about every walk I've been on lately! 

My very good friend suggested a book she thought I might like which I decided to rent as an audiobook and I was genuinely (!) really sad when it ended. It was called Walking Home by Clare Balding (a famous sports commentator in the UK) which she narrated herself. It was such a lovely book - filled with stories about walking; the different journeys she and others had taken and how walking had in some way become quite transformative for them. Clare presented a radio show where she would go on walks with people she hadn't met before and interviewed them on the way (I still need to listen out for that!) and some of the groups were formed for specific purposes - grief or bereavement, mental health, fitness and many others.

I also read A Philosophy of Walking by Frédéric Gros which was so interesting and I discovered that I certainly am not the first person to find walking to be a healing balm. Gros said 'You don't walk to kill time but to welcome it, to pick off it's leaves and petals one by one, second by second.' Another book that ties together mindfulness and walking along with offering practical tips is Walk: The path to a slower, more mindful life by Sholto Radford.  

There has been a lot of unexpected change in my life recently and for me, walking has helped me to stay mindful - to be here, thankful for what is in front of me, appreciative of nature and my surroundings and staying grounded. It's been a season of putting one foot in front of the other, sometimes going round in circles but in small ways moving forwards, never feeling worse for stepping out the door. It's given me fresh perspective and a healthier, more peaceful mind as well as keeping my body moving and motivated. What became a way to make the most of the good weather has now become a positive part of my routine and I can feel my own strength returning to me.

I don't normally take my phone with me now, but I've managed to capture a few of the moments of beauty here: 

Feeling like a challenge; I decided to sign up to do a fundraising event for a local hospice which involves doing a 13 mile midnight walk on Saturday 8th September. I think it will be a good way to push myself whilst thinking of and doing something tangible for others and to walk alongside people who have different stories to me.

I'd love to hear any tips, any great walks you've done or how walking has helped you so please feel free to share!

Love, 

S x

(P.s. If you would like to sponsor me for the walk - follow this link - all funds will go directly to Overgate Hospice). 

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