In which I change.

If these past few months have taught me anything, it's that I'm not the person I used to be. I remember how I would describe myself whilst I was still at Uni - it would be something along the lines of 'organised, love planning, hate surprises, in control.' Now, I think that couldn't be further from the truth.  For one, I have come to believe that organisation is more of a skill or gift than a personality attribute. I guess I've reached this place where I'm not able to be in control at all, so I have had to learn to wait for surprises and I can't really make any plans until a few important steps have been made.

I'm in a place where I have had to adapt to my present circumstances but still remain content with where I am. I think that's half the battle; being in a place I didn't think I would be waiting for an opportunity to come my way but still remaining hopeful and happy. I have met with professionals lately who have asked me 'where do I want to be?' or 'where do I see myself going?' and I've surprised myself with my change in answer. Before, I was very set - youth work, because that's what I'm trained in, but when you look a bit deeper or a bit wider the path isn't as narrow as it seems. I'm rediscovering my 'I could go anywhere' approach. This doesn't have to mean geographically but it could mean in the first role I end up with and where that could lead to in the future. We're in an age where it isn't common to stay in one trade for our entire lives - we're much more...flitty (I am not sure this is a word but it feels right, like a butterfly I was thinking) than that and we have so many more opportunities.

So instead of being obsessed with lists, scared of surprises, needing to know what is coming - I am feeling excited because I feel renewed, with a new lease of life and less fear. I hate fear. It has no place in our lives as it comes and takes over and robs us of opportunities. It tells us our dreams aren't big enough, that we aren't good enough, that we should always want for more, that we should have what our friends have because what we have isn't enough. But that's not right!

If we invest in the people that love us, right where we are then we are well on the way to being prepared for whatever life may throw at us. Whether that be good, or bad. Hard, or easy. Happy, or sad. I think that is the key. Community is what we need to do life, to live it rich in love and togetherness. That is what really matters, our dependence on each other whether that be family or friends. Those things are more important than my career for even if I don't end up doing what I studied, it doesn't matter as long as I am happy.

 I no longer place value on 'things' but in 'people.' I've been really blown away this past week with the amazing network of people I have in my life. This has brought about more opportunities than I could ever have thought possible, or that I could have planned for myself. I look forward to the time when I can do the same thing for someone else because I couldn't have gotten anywhere lately without the help and time of others. This is something else that has changed me. I have always been fiercely independent. If someone showed me how to do something like baking, using a computer programme etc, I was off - I could then do it on my own and continue to work it out for myself. But I have begun to wonder whether that's really how I want to live. I don't want to be an authority figure, I want to be a team player who gets in and serves alongside others. I want to choose to live life alongside others, so knowing that I could do a task more easily by myself isn't important, because I would rather learn together, with someone else. I really believe that this is what we have lost and I for one am going to fight for it. I think a level of dependence is healthy and necessary if we are ever to live in true community. We each have different skills that when used together equal something greater than if we were going at it alone.

I feel like this has been a bit rambly so to clarify:

- We need to learn to reflect on our experiences in order to change, grow and adapt to new circumstances.

- Investing in each other is more important than worrying about the future for those who love us will support us whatever happens.

- We shouldn't be afraid.

- Living in and for community is better than living by and for ourselves.

Much Love xxx 

Read More

Follow Friday.

Welcome to the weekend! 

I like weekends and beaches. I'm not going to the beach...it snowed here today, so that would be a bad idea - but the above photograph was taken when I was feeling particularly joyful in beautiful Cornwall. Anyway, I thought I would do something a bit different on the ol'blog after I got the urge to join in with 'follow friday' on twitter. I'm going to share a few nice things I discovered this week that are worth sharing with you lovely people.

Sarah's nice new things:

1) Whilst in the bath, I usually use my 'Country Radio App' to listen to well, Country music -most of  the stations are in America and my favourite is: Rocky Mountain Radio. I heard a group on there yesterday called 'The Wailin' Jennys.' Their music is beautiful, they have incredible harmonies and it's really folksy. Check them out - they have a facebook page and a website. 

2) Hope for Justice - really exciting stuff is going on over there relating to freedom - take a look at what they do! Love.

3) Autumnal Trees. Something about them this year has completely captivated me, more so than ever before! I don't know why that is...but it's the way it is. I've been taking pictures of nearly every nice tree I've seen. Here are the latest:

4) Avacados. No idea why - always used to hate them - now I adore them. YUM.

5) My A21 Campaign Bracelet. It arrived this week all the way from Australia and I love it...makes a nice big statement! 

6) Martha Stewart. The American legend continues to provide me with easy, yummy, scrummy, fool proof recipes. Any time I get the urge to bake, she has the answer. 

7) Watching Films. I've watched so many films lately...some have been good, some have been absolute bobbins. I have really enjoyed: 'It's Kind of a Funny Story' and 'Made in Dagenham.' Very entertaining.

8) Being back in wooly jumpers. I got my winter wardrobe out a couple of days ago - handy because of the aforementioned snow. I have invested in a wooly poncho with reindeer on it that makes me feel like Clint Eastwood and a big burgundy beauty that had £12 off the other day.

9) The Pistol Annies. These gals are amazing...their album makes me laugh. They all have amazing country voices and an endearing honesty. http://www.pistolannies.com/

10) Relevant Magazine. I LOVE their articles, they always challenge me, make me think and inspire me to write in response. They also gave me a LOT of free music when I subscribed to their iPad edition. Take a look.

11) The American Election. I've been labelled a 'geek' amongst my peers because I've been following the debates pretty closely. I find it all so fascinating and I've been trying to make sure I take a more balanced and educated view on life. If I were able to vote in that election I think I would still vote Obama - but I don't know what it's like to live as an American so that's from an outsiders point of view!

12) Ending this list on an even number. Can't cope with odd ones.

Much Love xxx

 

Read More

God is not a Genie.

Well, it's been another week of lessons learnt. I guess you could say I'd put all of my eggs in one basket with the recent job I applied for and after I finally got an interview I thought I was sorted. Unfortunately, I am not. I realise that in the grand scheme of things, this is a common occurrence and I am by no means alone in this struggle but I don't think that makes it any easier. It's such a vicious circle because people don't take you on due to your 'lack of experience' (even though I do have a LOT!) thus not allowing you to gain any paid experience which in turn stops you from progressing from where you are. I think sometimes we just tell ourselves it's all ok and 'the right job will come along' but I just want to acknowledge that in situations such as these, it is OK to be upset/confused/sad. It's a very frustrating situation and if you are in the same boat - I get how you feel!!

It's one of those seasons of life that is laced with complete confusion and it's not easy to know how eager and enthusiastic you are, yet no-one is giving you the chance to express that or do anything useful with it. Then, just when you think there's an open door, you get there, and it's closed. I've just been thinking WHAT THE HECK am I supposed to do next?!

This is where my title comes in. You may have read that in my previous posts, I've been learning to be thankful, to slow down, to appreciate what I have, to be patient and to trust God's plan. I suppose I just expected that after Uni, it would all just fall into place. I didn't have a choice but to come back home again, which has of course had it's challenges and sacrifices. I know what my skills are, what I can do, my strengths and weaknesses, I know that I will work hard and commit fully to whatever I do and so I thought it was obvious that a job would just land on my lap - because why wouldn't it? But then I begin to think that maybe as Christians, we carry some sort of spiritual arrogance. This attitude of 'God will give you the perfect job.' But what about my non-Christian neighbour? Are they not allowed the perfect job? Do they just have to work any old thing and we'll just swoop in because 'God has gone before us?' Don't we have to work, to wait and to be stuck too?

I think it is stupid of us to assume that we too wont have to work hard and endure tough times. After all, it is promised in the Bible that we will share in the sufferings. (I speak to myself here as much as those of you whom are reading this.) Of course, this is one of those annoying circumstances that just feels a bit hopeless but I know and hope that it wont be like this forever. It is up to me to work hard in the meantime, whether that be networking, trawling job sites, filling in even MORE application forms, widening my search, thinking outside of the box, asking around etc. I cannot sit here and wait for God to drop my dream on my lap. I have to put the effort in for it, I'm sure - being the almighty He probably could drop it on my lap however what would I learn from that?

Would I learn to discern, (hey that rhymes) to seek help from others, to depend on Him, to figure out what I am passionate about, to make real-life big decisions, to stop worrying about the future and think about what is happening now, to hold my plans loosely, to grow through struggles? No. He knows exactly what He is doing, of that I am sure. Would we need Faith if we knew what tomorrow held? No.  But I believe that God has a higher purpose. I can imagine that at the end of this stage, I will look back and see, once again how beautiful His orchestration is. I am sure every part of this experience is building me up for something that will come at the right time, in the right place, with the right people. Though at times, being stuck has been the most frustrating and un-natural experience for me and I have hated parts of it - I cannot only expect life, and Christianity to be good.

Sometimes, cack just happens. There's no explanation for it. I know it does, I've experienced it. I've seen it in peoples lives and I've just thought 'how is it possible that this could all happen to one person?' but it just does and I have no answer for it. Gaining perspective by zooming out to see the bigger picture is the only way we can get through it! Of course, my life could be a million times worse - I've shared my burden to campaign against Human Trafficking - it's horrific and I cannot imagine what life is like for those people - it disturbs me so much that people can be treated like this - but in the here and now, this is my personal struggle and I am allowed to be sad that no-one wants to employ me. Rejection isn't a nice experience, especially when all you want to do is get stuck in with something and be given an opportunity. But, it is what it is. We are not exempt from struggles, rather we need to embrace them - because this is reality.

Romans 8:17

The Message (MSG)

^15-17 This resurrection life you received from God is not a timid, grave-tending life. It’s adventurously expectant, greeting God with a childlike “What’s next, Papa?” God’s Spirit touches our spirits and confirms who we really are. We know who he is, and we know who we are: Father and children. And we know we are going to get what’s coming to us—an unbelievable inheritance! We go through exactly what Christ goes through. If we go through the hard times with him, then we’re certainly going to go through the good times with him!

Much Love xxx

P.s. someone give me a job please.

Read More

Thankful Thoughts.

I really LOVE receiving post. I know exactly what time the postman is supposed to arrive at my door and if I am at home I will watch the clock until I hear that old familiar clatter of letters and parcels every day. (I can imagine that's what it feels like to be a dog waiting for the newspaper.) I guess that's one of the perks to shopping online because it takes a few clicks and I often forget I've even sent off for whatever it is so it works out as a lovely surprise. I've always preferred catching up with people via pretty notecards and postcards however in order to be an effective pen pal, the recipient is expected to reply. *hint hint* I just think it's always nice to have something to wait for, something that doesn't arrive in an instant. It takes time to sit and reply and to reflect on what has actually happened in your week in order to fill a card with information and questions to keep your conversation going. Why am I rambling on about this?

There has been one piece of post in particular that I have been eagerly awaiting, which was kind of annoying because it had a 10-14 working day delivery estimate. Everyday, I was hoping it would arrive and today it finally did! I realise I am building this up to something that is sure to disappoint you...it's not a time machine or the Cath Kidston dress that I've been coveting for weeks. It is in fact, a book.

I saw it when I was looking for something else on Amazon and read the description. Straight away,  I knew this woman was my kinda gal. I started reading it this evening and can confirm my early suspicions. I love it. I've only read a chapter and a half so far, so I know i'm merely on the cusp of her message but I already feel inspired. She first describes the pain of loss in her life and her reaction to blame God. She then states how one day, that all changed when she had a revelation.

I want to first share her picture of our human dissatisfaction. For this, she takes it back to the Garden of Eden:

'But in the beginning, our eyes were already open. Our site was perfect. Our vision let us see a world spilling with goodness. Our eyes fell on nothing but the glory of God. We saw God as He truly is: good. But we were lured by the deception that there was more to a full life, there was more to see. And, true, there was more to see: the ugliness we hadn't beheld, the sinfulness we hadn't witnessed, the loss we hadn't known.'

It's interesting, this. The thought that our dissatisfaction is part of our human nature. Of course, this is also a picture of us knowing better than God. We humans could have seen God in all His glory and accepted Him as He is and would have been grateful, but we would all have given in to the temptation of 'there must be something more.' Now, don't get me wrong - I am NOT saying there is anything wrong with ambition. I think ambition is good and is necessary to help us grow as people, but there has to be a limit. You only have to look at people chasing fame, they will seemingly do anything to get on TV, to become known by everyone - they want more and more until all of a sudden it becomes too much and they become empty. They could never be satisfied with what they had so they hungered for more and found nothing. They can't go to a coffee shop whenever they feel like it because they get chased by the paparazzi. They can't put on a few extra pounds because that sparks pregnancy rumours. They can't lose any pounds because then they have an eating disorder. They can't spend time with a friend because they might sell gossip to a magazine. Who can they trust? Where can they go?

This season of my life has been full of challenges. I've let go of fears, thoughts that I need to plan out my entire life, the 'what if I make the wrong decision?' doubts. I've found hope that if I keep knocking - the right door will open. I've done the waiting, the filling in of applications, the asking for help, the meeting new people but by far my favourite lesson - living in the here and now. You see, anything can happen tomorrow. We can't worry about that - what do we have today? What can we be thankful for, what can we be moved by, what can we appreciate right here and now?  This is where I link back to my new book. We need to be satisfied with what we have today. It's ok to want things, like I wanted my post (an abnormal amount! ha.) Or like I want a job and my own place, a relationship, children. But I also want to be grateful and thankful for what I have NOW. 

It's easy to be dissatisfied when we think our lives are boring. The key is this, as written by Christine Caine (my hero of the moment):

'We must begin to value our seemingly mundane lives and routines, understanding that each day God has opportunities waiting for us to meet the needs of others.'

I love this! It gives me hope that in my unemployed state, I still have a purpose! I still have lives to impact, people to meet, serve, love and befriend. I've been involved in all sorts, i've been busy building new friendships and restoring old ones. I've had time to rest and to read. I've watched on average one movie every day for as long as I can remember. I've been stirred up as I've researched things such as Human Trafficking (as you may have noticed!) I've been motivated to DO something. I have found joy in not knowing what tomorrow may bring and gratitude for what I have received today. 

Back to my book again. 

'The only place we need see before we die is this place of seeing God, here and now. I whisper it out loud, let the tongue feel these sounds, the ear hear their truth.' 

Previous to this she unpacks the word 'Eucharist' from it's Greek root and it becomes...

'Charis - Grace.

 Eucharisteo - Thanksgiving.

 Chara - Joy. [these are described by her as a 'threefold cord...that might make up the meaning of everything]'

Is that what we need to be satisfied? Grace, from God that our mistakes are forgiven and we can have LIFE, thanks for all the wonderful things we are given, the people in our lives, the things that we love and joy in all circumstances? I think so. I guess it all seems so simple, which is maybe why we can't grasp it. I think it is a daily battle to be satisfied. I will admit now; I have about 6 beautiful handbags that I can switch between when I feel like a change. I go to Cath Kidston (she's had a double mention today!) and I'll see a new print or a new style and I want it. Forget the 5 I already have, I want that one, I need that one. Do I? No. I could think, 'Sarah, you already have more than the average person when it comes to handbags - why not be glad for what you have?' I could even think, what about the people in my country, my county, my town who might have to live off £20 a week. Who can't get on to the benefits system, who can't get work, who can't switch their heating on, who are brought here against their will and forced to do things they don't want to do. Then it all becomes insignificant. What I should think is - look at what I HAVE! It's more than I need, more than I deserve so how can I share it?

A few things I was thankful for today were these views:

I want to live a life thankful not just for things (that let's be real - in the grand scheme of things, I don't need) but for purpose, potential and the gifts I have been given that can be used to bless others. I am grateful for the beauty that is around me, the way that God shows off with sites such as the above images and for the relationships I have that I couldn't POSSIBLY do life without. I love ya!

Much Love xxx

Read More

KEY2FREE

Today (October 18th) is Anti-Slavery day. The A21 Campaign (see previous post) are getting involved by hosting the 'KEY2FREE' event. The idea is, that everyone wears a key around their necks to mark a sign of freedom for those who are trapped in modern day slavery. I would imagine this will be quite a conversation starter! The A21 Campaign's online store sell official necklaces which wouldn't come in time for this event but will be great for everyday wear!

Here is mine:

I will be wearing this all day today in the hope that I can help raise awareness!

You can also get involved by doing these things:

- Watch this - for a better explanation of what this campaign is about.

- If you're a tweeter, tweet today using the hashtag #KEY2FREE

- If you're a fellow Instagram addict...post photos and use the same hashtag - #KEY2FREE

- Check out the Facebook event by following this link.

- Spread the word, talk to your friends/colleagues/family members about the campaign

- Think about what we can do to help others live in freedom

- Attend an event or host a last minute one! It can be in a coffee shop with some girlfriends or in your own living room!

- Look up some websites that will educate you on what you can do to help raise awareness of this issue.

We are the key to unlocking someone else's freedom...

Much Love xxx

Read More

The A21 Campaign.

The A21 Campaign is something I feel very passionate about supporting. It stands for 'Abolishing Injustice in the 21st Century' (which I probably should've found out before now!) and is a campaign raising awareness for the 27million people who are trapped in modern day slavery. This subject is something that we all know happens, but may not have classed it as 'slavery' before. It is a problem that affects every nation, though we may not realise it. 

Myself and my friend Elly (who loves it when I mention her) got chatting about this cause one day and decided we should do something to help, indeed this is how the campaign began in the first place. So, we set about planning and decided to start small by running a fundraiser/awareness evening. This week, the event finally came around so I thought I would share a bit about how it went and what I have learnt from it. 

We decided to run it in the format of a meal, so we charged people for the price of a ticket and provided a meal for free. Thanks to the extremely generous people in our Church who provided main courses and desserts, we were able to feed everybody and in most cases they got 2nd's! Without those people giving up their time and ingredients, this part of the evening wouldn't have happened! We decided in the end to keep it simple and served everything with jacket potatoes, as the brits love their tatties. 

My favourite find for the evening!

I love tablecloths   

Our yummy cupcakes

Discussion points for the tables

We also had musicians who played for us throughout the evening that were wonderful and worked out as a great part of the evening and all of the musicians ended up being very eager to help us continue to raise awareness in the future. The music helped to keep the evening relaxed even though the subject matter was very tough!

Throughout the evening, we discussed the facts of Human Trafficking and watched the A21 Campaign's video, which was a great way to educate everyone in a way that was better than anything I could've done! Of course, it was a lot of information to take in, especially for those who had very little knowledge before the evening, as I did when I first looked into it! The point of this campaign is to help people realise that anyone can make a difference. 

Facts about Human Trafficking (taken from A21 website):

- It is the 2nd largest Global Organised crime and generates nearly $31.6 BILLION a year, Specifically sexual trafficking $27.8 billion a year.

- There are 1.39 million victims of commercial sexual servitude worldwide.

- Only 1-2 % of victims are rescued whilst 1 in 100,000 Europeans involved in trafficking are convicted.

- Greece is known as 'the centre of trafficking in Europe.'

- Ukraine is a source country for trafficked women and is currently one of the largest exporters of women, not just in the EU but also to the Middle East and to South East Asia. 

- Bulgaria - It is estimated that that 10,000 Bulgarian women alone are trafficked yearly, both within the country and to destination countries.

- Roma - Ethnic Roma men, women and children are particularly vulnerable to becoming trafficking victims, due to ethnic discrimination, poverty, high levels of unemployment, usury, growing up in state care, homelessness, domestic violence, substance abuse and complicity of family members trafficking their own.

- The United States - Human Trafficking is currently on the rise. Over 17,500 victims are trafficked in the US annually and  it is estimated that 33% are US Citizens. The full scope of the problem is yet to be determined but it is intertwined with drugs and prostitution. Trafficking here takes the form of; prostitution, massage parlours and brothels. Generally, those who are US citizens will end up in the sex trade whereas foreign victims will be found in labour trafficking. 

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It also happens in the UK. Take a look at this story which has recently hit the news. There are more stories like this, though it is not widely talked about.   

A few weeks ago, some of us watched the Nefarious documentary, as I have mentioned previously.  The quote below that cropped up in this film will never leave me because of its truth. Now that we have passed the baton onto everyone who attended our fundraiser, or those of you reading this cannot say you didn't know about Human Trafficking - because I've just told you about it! 

This quote has been the key for me to do something about it!

Below are the A21 Campaign flyers, which  suggest ways in which YOU and I can begin to make a difference. You can start by talking about what you have heard. The more it is talked about, the more people know and the more likely it is that we can work together to see an end to this. It isn't just something 'nice' to do, it is our responsibility.

 What did I learn?

On the night of our fundraiser, I got a real picture of what, especially as Christians - we should stand for. Without all the people who helped myself and Elly i.e. those who cooked, washed the dishes, served the food, brewed the tea, wiped the tables, put away chairs, folded tablecloths etc, then that night would never have happened. It was team at its best. It was us, working together for others - for a cause greater than ourselves which is what it is all about. 

We also need to be moved into action. It's all well and good looking into these things and then walking away and carrying on our lives as normal. But we have a duty to carry the burden of others. We need to have our heart broken for those who need us. It is a conscious decision - to not let these people continue to suffer when we have the ability to 'be the change' in this situation. Though it is easy to be overwhelmed by massive statistics, if each one of us does something then of course things will change!   We have managed to raise about £180/$290 just through 30 of us gathering together. More than this, we educated 30 people who may then go on to tell 30 people etc etc. That is the real point! 

I did not write this to brag about what we have done - for this is just the beginning. We started small, and simple, running a relaxed evening based around sharing food and facts. Maybe you could do something similar or on an even smaller scale! You could have a tea party or a coffee morning or get a few friends together to chat about it. Make a few crafts or sell some cupcakes. Everything will make a difference!

What will YOU do?

At our event x thank you to everyone who came x

Much Love xxx

p.s. let's all be abolitionists 

Read More

Thoughts on Being Average.

I am not a person that particularly 'excels' at anything. In school, I didn't do badly - I was an average performer. In college, much the same - I didn't achieve top grades. At uni, I was steady away consistently getting similar grades that gave me a good average grade at the end. With things that I do such as baking, I'm good at it but there are certainly people who have a lot more talent than I do. With crafts, I'm not the neatest - I'm kind of haphazard but I can make something that looks 'rustic' (a nice way of saying imperfect!) I can sing, but in comparison to others I know I am definitely of average talent. With my blog, I don't have 15,000 views or thousands of followers - it's OK but it's not amazing. I can make flyers but I'm no graphic designer. I'm OK at photography but I'm no David Bailey. I can write but I'm not sure I could create a best-seller.

At this point, you may be thinking that I'm selling myself short or that I'm really insecure about myself. I disagree. I'm actually very secure in this. I'm an average joe and that's ok. At this point in my life, I feel like every day I'm being taken down a peg or two. Not in a bad way, because I feel extremely humbled. I am seeing life from a new perspective and I am truly seeing what is important. Does my blog need to have thousands of views or is it better that it reaches one person and impacts the way they think about something? Does my baking need to be of a professional standard or is it OK that it is received well by the people I share it with? Did I need A*'s at school to get into college or University? No. I got where I needed to be by working hard to be average. I am very realistic about what I can achieve and though, if I work hard enough I know I can achieve more - is that what I truly class as a success?

So many people define success by the things that you have. A nice car, a big house full of lovely things, an Aga, (PLEASE Lord one day) 2.4 children, a 3D TV. You've made it. But is that what I desire? Is it worth me pursuing a huge career, working my way up to the top so that I can earn enough money to have big holidays whilst not having any time to be at home, with friends, with family? I'm not sure it's worth it. The experience of having little to live off has taught me what my priorities need to be in the future. I didn't choose my career path (Youth Work) for the money, which is a good job seeing as though this government are taking all the money out of it but anywho, I entered it because young people are the future. I want them to know that. I want to encourage them, to build their self-esteem, to help them see that they can achieve, they can contribute and they can make sense of the world around them. So many people tell them they can't and that is not OK. If I am to work with people, that means I will have to make sacrifices. I will probably have enough money to get by. I will probably travel less than I have this year. I will probably have to say no to some things. I will have to invest not in 'things' but in people.

I am not cutting myself short and settling for something less than I can do - I am making a choice. A choice to live simply but well. A choice to enjoy the small things in life rather than always aim for the big things. A choice to enjoy people more than the 'stuff' I own. A choice to share my time, my life, my love, my hope rather than to give my money to a Charity and think that's enough. I want to invest in a community. I am happy to live a quiet, steady away life that seeks to make a difference to my neighbours by sharing openly and honestly my thoughts about life and the Universe. I will no longer compare myself to others and wish I was 'as good as they were' at this or that - I will be content at being  average because that is how I was created.

My job here is not to question why I am here, why I am like this, why am I not as good at this/that etc. My job is to respond to the God that created the Universe with a simple life of praise. Why?
'The answer to each of these questions is simply this: He's God.' (Francis Chan)

I'm not gonna argue with that.

Much Love xxx

Read More

My First Car Boot Sale.

This morning, I did the unthinkable and got up at 7am on a Sunday. That is not where this story ends, though it is remarkable. A few of my friends have been choosing to do this for a while, and each time they have gone they have found some fun things. Though, at this stage of my life it would make a lot more sense to sell things rather than buy them, I found a few things that I couldn't resist. For the first 30 minutes or so, all I could think was 'I cannot believe I am here before 8am' and 'I think I need to kill someone' as nothing was grabbing my attention. We kept walking around and then all of a sudden - I found something Christmas related so I started to feel better.

Meet my first purchase:

I saw the green one and thought it might do to bind some bunting together. Then I spotted the other two and the white one I will use for wrapping gifts and the red one, who knows. I got them all for £2 and they are pretty full rolls. To top it off, they are American. It all went downhill for my purse after this.

I then spotted these, hidden away behind a few things:

At first I saw them and walked away. Then I couldn't stop thinking about them so I grabbed my friends who helped me barter a little and as the lady wasn't that fussed about selling them as she intended to sell them at a vintage fair next week if I didn't buy them - I snapped them up! I will also be going to the vintage fair she told me about. I thought they were so cute. They're in perfect condition and I can imagine using them at future tea parties with scones or something. I love them. I've never loved knives before. Anyhoodle...

The next thing I stumbled upon was this little box of stamps. I actually spotted the little American flag heart one first, and thought after a wash they would be nice for making cards.

My final find were these two retro trays:

They're so bright and colourful...I'm sure they'll come in handy for something in the future and they only cost me £2.50. I am really happy with them! 

The best thing I saw on sale:

I love Yorkshire

All in all, I'm glad I went. If you're willing to search through some of the rubbish and things that you really wont use like the woman who walked past me clutching a giant stuffed tiger - 'cos every home needs a giant stuffed tiger, you can find some treasures as I feel I did. I think we can all agree it's probably better if I don't go again for a while as I don't need any encouragement to buy nice things for a rainy day plus I prefer sleeping. 

Although it was freezing/foggy this morning (I very almost put my mittens on) it has turned out to be a beautiful day

Now, it's nap time. 

Much Love xxx

Read More

Wait.

This week I've been hit by a few thoughts about the generation of which I am a part. As technology advances, we learn how to make more and more shortcuts and we can get things quicker than ever. It's funny how I find myself frustrated when the internet kicks us off every now and then when a few years ago we had to unplug the phone line before we could even hook up to it. There's an 'app' for everything that supposedly makes everything more convenient and instantaneous. But then we hit a brick wall.

When we have to wait for something, we truly can't do it. We freak out, we get frustrated, we lose our temper and we give up. In Tesco today, I was in no rush but I changed queues about 3 times to find the shortest one. I hate waiting to get served at a bar. When I need a quick response from someone it completely stresses me out when they don't reply for an hour. But then I find myself wrestling with this impatient nature. With things such as baking and cooking, I always prefer to do it from scratch. I sincerely dislike cheating and will only do it if I truly have to. I will not bow to the convenience of a ready meal and will only have one in dire need. I prefer resting my mixing bowl on my hip and mixing the butter and sugar together myself than relying on an electric mixer to do it for me. I am pretty sure I could do life sans microwave and will always opt to use the hob if at all possible even though it creates more washing up (I hate washing up.) But what has happened now that I am being asked to put my patience to the test - I am freaking out.

In all honesty, I expected to breeze out of Uni and pick up a cosy little job that would allow me to rent a nice flat that I could adorn with the floral items from my accumulated 'bottom drawer' that has admittedly turned into a 'bottom wardrobe' that means I have no room to hang up my clothes. Woops. Anyway, I would say at least 30 job applications and no clothing space later, I am still without employment and my own little floral palace. Needless to say, I am not impressed. The job centre told me it's probably because 'I'm over-qualified.' Oh isn't that lovely to hear after you busted your guts to finish your degree?! It seems as if every door I push is closed, and it's very difficult to keep it up without losing hope! I of course, have no choice but to keep on spending hours filling in application after application and hoping that ONE of them will be picked up by someone, anyone who will give me a job. Of course, I have not sat on my sofa all day watching Jeremy Kyle. I have found myself being busier than ever but the frustration is that without employment - I am not planted somewhere. I long to be tied to a place, even if for a time so that I know what I can commit myself to.

That is the next thing that I have learnt about our generation. We hate commitment. We flit in and out of things, we don't like to be tied down to a place because we need the freedom to move around. We wouldn't enter a career expecting it to be lifelong. We wouldn't think about finding a job that offers a good pension - because we think first about what the job is offering us now. We can worry about what happens when we reach 70 (as I would imagine the average retirement age, if there will be one, will have grown substantially by the time we reach it.) Apparently, I will retire in 2055. That sounds like a ridiculous year, by which I expect to be able to catch a reasonably priced flight to space and back.

Not only this, but when it comes to relationships, we are afraid. We're afraid to commit in case we get hurt. What if we pick the wrong person? What if someone better comes along? It's easier to be alone because that doesn't take any work. We'd like a relationship to land on our lap otherwise we will have to make ourselves vulnerable and take a risk. Nah, I'd rather not. But what happens in a few years time when we have a bunch of girls ready to commit and a bunch of guys who are too scared to? What happens when everything at work is happening too slowly for us so we get bored and leave and wave bye bye to whatever pension package we might have had instead of trying to change our job to make it better? I worry about where we're headed. I worry about how much we worry.

We need to re-learn the art of waiting. We need to learn to commit ourselves to a task and see it through, even if it takes longer than we expected. We need to work at our relationships instead of running away from them when they get hard and we need to make the most of the circumstances in which we find ourselves. We need to slow down and remember what the important things are in life, because it flies by in such a blur. We need to be content with doing small things, making a small difference in one persons life instead of always trying to change the whole world. We need to work at our communities, say hi to our neighbours and being to rebuild the art of being with people. Social networks have meant that we are unable to build real relationships, we can say things on a computer that we could never say face to face. We need to learn to wait for a response. We need to wait for things to happen in the right time instead of in an instant.

You know, as well as this season being the most annoying and frustrating one I have been in, for the most part I have never been so content. I realise that through this, my character is building. My patience is growing as is my trust and excitement for the future. I am learning to appreciate what I have instead of chasing what I dont have/want. I realise what I need to do life. I have learnt loads of yummy recipes which will come in handy for future dinner parties/family meals. I am learning to enjoy the small blessings that I see everyday and I am saying 'no' to things which is leading to more wise decisions. My boundaries are strong and I recognise that I need time for myself to relax and unwind which in turn means I am more able to spend time with friends, family and with those who need a friendly face.

If we become so caught up in our busy lives and in our busy selves then we miss out on our main purpose. In the book I've just read, Christine Caine writes:

'Jesus always stopped and noticed what was going on around Him. Although He was on a mission to save all of humanity, He was never too busy to notice the crippled man by the pool, the woman at the well, or the woman with the hemorrhage  Even when He was on the way to somewhere else, Jesus was always prepared to be interrupted and to get involved in the lives of individual people whose paths He crossed.'

What's the point of all this if we can't give up our time anymore to notice and help those who need us? If we are always seeking to better ourselves, to work for that promotion, to do a bit more overtime then we begin to miss things. We lose the art of being because we get so caught up in doing. I suggest that we need to take a step back and look at where this is leading. We need to peel back the layers of Christianity and see what is at its core - and that, to me is loving God, our neighbour and ourselves. We need to appreciate the small stuff as much as the big stuff. We need to praise God in the mess as well as the tidy, in the plain sailing times as well as the everything all over the place times. We need to concentrate on the day that He has given us and live it here and now. We need to wait for His response in His timing as we have committed to follow His path.

But most of all, we need to slow down.

Much Love xxx

P.s I made my first pecan pie today. Isn't she CUTE! 

Read More

The Core.

Sorry I've been a bit quiet lately! I've just had yet another trip, which involved visiting my beloved Chester for the first time since I left it. It was such a wonderful yet overwhelming time which I have not yet had time to process as I've not stopped until right now. It felt so good to see the faces that once surrounded me every day which became absent for these past 16 or so weeks. It was also great to see the ones I didn't see so much as we all picked up where we left off. I got lots of time to catch up with familiar faces (one of which I hadn't seen in over a year) to come up to speed with what changes have occurred in our lives. I left feeling incredibly blessed, and thankful that those friendships still remain, whether I am there or not.

I read this excellent article yesterday which really got me thinking further about this. I'm in a similar situation to this woman, aside from the fact that I have returned home and am not in a new place with a husband. As I spoke to people back in Chester about 'what I am now doing with my life,' I began to become frustrated. I don't have a 'label' at the moment. I started to think that's all I need and then I'll be fine. I need to be able to say, 'Hi, I'm Sarah and I'm a _____________' youth worker, receptionist, administrator, student worker, support worker, teaching assistant etc. The more I have thought about what it is that I want to 'be,' the more confused I become. I feel like there are a lot of things that I could 'do' and love, especially when thinking about employment - you should see everything I have applied for, it varies quite substantially! But that doesn't make me who I am.

If people talk about me, I don't want them to just thinking 'oh yeah she was great at making spreadsheets' or 'she made great cupcakes,' (though I would of course appreciate that!) I want something more. As I've tried to reach the core of what I want, I realise it is this. I want people to say 'she was really good at loving.' The more I continue this journey with God, I realise how incredible He is at loving not just me - but His creation. I find it so overwhelming. That I, so insignificant could have been created by the same God that created things such as this:

You may not believe that, but I do with every fibre of my being. I believe I have seen God in my life and in others and I believe that He is the one who is responsible for all the amazing people I have in my life, both friends and family. All the incredible opportunities I have had so far, all of the laughter I have enjoyed, the strength I now have after going through trials and everything that awaits me in my future. I was brought to a place where I recognised that God was there so I seek to find Him in all my situations. 

You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.

Jeremiah 29:12-14

I believe that God works for the good of His children. I don't think all situations are good but if we change our mind set and see it from different eyes, I believe that gives us power to change our situations. I for one want to live in freedom, freedom to love and be myself - the person I was created to be. If that means being the one who says what everyone else is thinking then so be it. If that means that sometimes I'm accidentally a bit too honest then I will apologise. All I want to be is your true friend, and a person that loves you no matter what you do. I was forgiven, and you deserve the same. I was brought out of darkness into light and hurt in to love and you should have that too. That is what I want to 'be.' A job will come for me when the time is right but in the meantime, I have other things to be thinking about. How can I love you better?

Much Love xxx

Read More