We're All In This Together...

Sorry to go all High School Musical on you but every time I think about this subject I get that song in my head. I had a great conversation today with a lovely lady about community. I think in society today community is something that we are losing. Young people are desperately searching for a place to belong, to be accepted and loved. Somewhere they wont be alone. Somewhere they will be listened to, where they wont be judged/prejudged and where they will be given help and advice on how to deal with their problems. Of course, isn't that what we're all searching for?

Community

My experience of University entailed being part of the most wonderful community I have ever come across. In my house, we all made sacrifices for each other. It may only have been small but one time someone would print something when I was out of ink or someone would be stood out in the cold at the train station and they would be picked up. Someone may have been out of chicken, so we joined together to cook. When one of my beloved wine glasses mysteriously disappeared and I moaned about it for the two years in which we lived together, it was eventually replaced so that I would have a set of four again, because who can use three wine glasses? When I was struggling, there was always a door to knock on where I could sit, cry, laugh, complain, offload and often people would pop into my room for the same things. When I had to shut myself away, people respected my do not disturb sign (most of the time!) People from outside of our house would always pop in on their way to somewhere, so we always had someone in the house who didn't live there. I loved that, and I truly miss it. I stopped caring that I was in my pj's at 8pm talking to a stranger in my own living room. Our house became much more than just us, it became a kind of hub that alsorts of people would join and would be a part of. They belonged there as much as we did and it was really special. Without that community, there is absolutely no way I could've passed that degree. We needed each other, and for that time we were all blessed to be placed with one another. This weekend, we are all to be reunited for the first time since we all left - I am VERY excited!

I've been watching this amazing documentary that caught my eye the other day. It's called 'The Audience' and is on Channel 4 (UK). What happens is each week, one person has a big problem that they can't solve on their own. So, they invite 50 strangers aka 'the audience' to come and assess the situation, see all sides of the problem and come to a collective decision that acts as the answer to the person's dilemma. There have been two episodes so far and I have found it fascinating. It's so interesting to see how the people make their first judgements but then as they get to know more and more about the pieces of the puzzle, their mind opens and they are able to come to a decision that they are happy with. Both of the people who had the problem had said they just couldn't make such a big decision alone and they needed the help of others to spur them on to make it. I love that. That to me, is how life should always look - that we all have a different viewpoint, a different point to make to add to the discussion but eventually all end up working together.

Teamwork

I now want to think about community in another respect. Throughout Uni, I had some great experiences of working with different people and different Churches. I learnt a lot of lessons that will stick with me for the rest of my life, as they changed me in a massive way. A lot of us fall into this 'perfectionist' trap. This idea that 'If I let someone else do this job, I'm scared it wont be as good as if I did it.' That 'only I can do this well, if I let them do it or change it, it just wont work.' If we let ourselves think like this, we become controlling over what is 'ours' and we begin to lose trust in the standards of those around us. I of course recognise that we all have different strengths and abilities, but we all have something amazing to offer. I think this links to what I've said before about being afraid of making mistakes. Of course, we need to be wise about who we delegate our work to as it would be pointless trusting someone to administrate a project if they obviously hated paperwork, but that is not my point. My point is that if we have made our jobs to be so that only we know what is going on, and in the case of leaving the job/going on holiday and nobody knows what we actually do then something is seriously wrong. I speak of this from a youth workers/ministry perspective as I have seen this all too often in Church work especially, but I think it can be applied to any role. If we, as an individual are depended upon too much then eventually the pressure will become too overwhelming and you are burnt out. It's too late. I've read so many books where people have spoken of working so hard that eventually their bodies literally just gave up on them. It reached so far beyond saving that they ended up on the sofa being unable to move so they were forced to rest. This is not ok. 

We need to begin to understand the notion of saying no. We need to stop thinking that 'if I don't do this, nobody else will' because that demonstrates a lack of trust and communication. If we don't ask people to help us, how will they know they are needed? If we don't let go, and be happy to let someone else do part of our job even if it's done to a standard that is different and not seen as 'worse' than ours then how can we ever operate as a team? If we don't trust people to get on with it and step out then how will they ever have the confidence to do it? Everybody within our community has something important to bring, and it wouldn't be the same without them.

When looking at the Church context, we are described as the body. As you can see from the picture, I included a Bible verse in this that states that though we are many parts, we are one. We are not here to be an exclusive community, but an inclusive one. Whatever your background, upbringing, current situation, job, relationship status - whatever, you are welcome to be a part of that community and you have something to give it that will better it. The more we work together, the more we will be the Church because Church has nothing to do with the building, it is the people that make it. Church is not about one person having a 'gift' or a ministry that is all about them, and we follow that individual because they are so 'anointed or blessed.' It is about what we can achieve together, as one using all of our gifts to reach a lost and hurting world. We sing lots of songs about 'coming home' which is talking about when, as Christians believe - we will return to Heaven to be with our Father. But I think walking into a Church should feel like a welcome home too. For we are to be a family, who love each other no matter what, who forgive each other, who make sacrifices for each other, who listen and help one another and who seek to put others before ourselves.

We need to understand that we might look messy, but we are messy people! God isn't asking us for perfection, He is isn't asking us to run ourselves ragged through 'serving Him and others' because we shouldn't be so worn out that we become ineffective. We need to say no, we need to rest and we need to serve others but also let others serve us when we need it. If God wants the job to be done, He will do it with or without you and he delights in you as much as if you did it yourself or if you stepped back and let someone else do it for we don't need to do things to 'earn' His love because Jesus made a way back already. I personally, would rather have fun as a team doing something with an imperfect messy outcome than work myself to the max getting stressed out to create something that constituted perfection on my own. 

Hope you have found this encouraging! 

Much Love xxx

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Thou Shalt Not...

I’ve been doing a lot of reading lately. Whilst I was in Greece, I finished off two books that I was halfway through and read 4 from scratch. I’ve also been reading a lot of blogs and articles, mainly with a Christian viewpoint. Whilst I find most of what I read to helpful and challenging, I can’t help but notice the vast amount of articles that tell us, as Christians what we shouldn’t be doing and offering no helpful alternative to what we should be doing. They just feel overwhelmingly negative. 

I will tell you, the ones I tend to read are about relationships. I read one today which I did find interesting as it was about the effect of Rom Coms and how they skew our view of the reality of a relationship. I get it, I do - but I feel like these articles are forcing us to be so un-dream like and so realistic that for me, it feels like the thrill of the chase is being taken out of the equation. Are writers doing this so that we will, to coin an over-used Christian phrase ‘protect our hearts?’ So that we wont be let down when our reality doesn’t involve the man of our dreams turning up at our door with 12 dozen red roses every morning? So that once we’re married it’s not all breakfast in bed, but morning farts as a wake up call? To me, this whole attitude seems a bit fearful. 

I don’t like people telling me that I shouldn’t dream. I have times each day where I like to switch off from everything and spend a bit of time daydreaming. That might involve going on a trip, or a date, or my wedding day or when I’m pregnant. Daydreams allow me to pause reality and think about something entirely different that may get me excited about what is to happen in my future. If it doesn’t happen the way I had dreamt it, then rest assured it will be better. If I wont marry a cowboy, I will marry a man better for me than anyone I could’ve chosen, and we will love each other and our normality, warts and all. If I don’t get my dream job running a cafe then I will be working somewhere I never thought I would be. If I don’t end up living in America, I will be living in a place more beautiful than I could ever have imagined. That is what Faith is. 

I get that people offering wisdom who have 'been there done that' is really helpful and I am thankful for it, but sometimes - and this is what I find to be the hardest part of youth work - we must allow people to learn from their own mistakes, as well as learning important lessons for themselves because whatever happens, sometimes they will not listen. When a relationship comes around, if it isn't what we saw in Pride and Prejudice we will soon learn to change our expectations. We are a generation that learns through doing, and I don't want us to become so fearful with heads full of things we must not do that we begin to fear messing up. Thats a reality of life too. We all go through the same cycles over and over and that is life, though I'm sure these other writers mean well - I think they forget this sometimes! Mistakes are inevitable.

When I was inside some of the most exquisite buildings I have ever beheld, I was thinking about all these people who had dedicated their lives to creating these incredible pieces of art to be placed in a building that exists to give glory to God. I'm sure they could only have dreamt that hundreds of years later, their work was renowned world wide and now draws people in from countries far and wide. I'm sure they probably thought that what they were doing was only going to give pleasure to God, yet there I stood in awe at what they had done. Perhaps at the time they felt like their dream to be a great painter would never happen. But they did it anyway, and now look at them. In the Keats museum, I read about how his life was cut terribly short, at 26 years old he died of tuberculosis. He died thinking he had failed as a poet, though that is what he loved to do. He was inspired to write verses about what he saw and lived. Though at the time, he was slated - there I was stood in a memorial of his life. People told him his dream would fail, but it didn't. 

I have Faith that though God, my life has a higher plan and a better purpose than what I had for it. I believe God will use me in a more beautiful way than I could ever have used myself. If I had my way, it would never be as great as His way will be. Though at times it feels harder, in the end - my heart will be glad for He has fulfilled my every need. I don’t want us all to get so caught up in thinking ‘sorry guys, but your reality will be nothing like what is in that movie, or what is in your daydream - it’s not all about you.’ It’s not all about me, my plans, my purposes but nowhere are we told that we shouldn’t have desires, wants, needs and dreams. God sees our hearts and he put His desires for our lives into them. Don’t be afraid of your future because it wont look exactly as you thought it would, be excited for it! You could end up in a place in which you would never have put yourself, living a life more fulfilled than you could have dreamt. 

Much Love xxx

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When In Rome...

If you read my blog a while back, you will know that one of the places I would like to see was Rome. I can now tell you that I can tick it off my list, as I went, saw and conquered the Italian Capital. What follows is a description of our trip, including it's quirks, mishaps and a few handy tips for those of you who would also like to pay it a visit.

Arriving in Roma

Before you consider this trip - I will give you a polite warning. If you are a pedestrian of a nervous disposition, avoid Rome. I do not exaggerate when I say every time you cross the road, it feels as if you are taking your life into your own hands. My guidebook said this:

Crossing Roads
'First impressions suggest there can be only two sorts of pedestrian in Rome: the quick and the dead. Even if you cross roads by traffic lights and pedestrian crossings strictly in your favour, there is sure to be some sort of van or Vespa hurtling towards you with apparently homicidal intent...the best tactic is to be as confident as Romans.'
It was not lying. We just had to be confident and step out in the road and hope the cars and vespas would stop for us. Most times they did, other times we had to run or in my companion's case, cause one female scooter driver to test out how quick her reactions were. That was a close shave. I would not suggest hiring a car unless you are very confident and are able to break at superhuman speeds. It's all part of the adventure though.

Anywho, our hotel was quite far out of the centre but it was easy enough to get there. We caught a 5 euro bus from the airport to Termini station in the centre of Rome (you can buy tickets for these in the airport OR on the bus) and hopped in a taxi. I was very on edge throughout that journey as that was our first main taste of the roads of Rome. I felt pretty tense to say the least! After that, we asked in our hotel what the best way to get around was. Each day, we bought two 1.50 euro tickets that would allow us to use the buses and the subway to get into town. We soon caught the hang of it and got our bearings and it was a very cheap way to do it! It also felt more authentic as we were seemingly the only tourists on the bus.

Travelling Around

I would suggest you take a good guide book with you. I took this one, an Eyewitness Travel book which was ideal. It came with a useful map and lots of suggestions about places we must visit. I also used it in places such as the Pantheon to give me a bit more information about what I was seeing. You can also get maps from tourist information places that are really useful and they helped us to get around. Things are pretty well signposted which is very handy!

As I said before, we used the subway a lot which was really simple to work out. There are two lines, A and B and they all connect at Termini which has links for buses too. You can get a 6 euro ticket which allows you to have unlimited journeys in a day which we used on day 3 on our trip to Spagna.

In general, we walked a LOT. It was quite tiring and we ended up making use of the nice steps and cafes to watch the world go by a little. Their coffee is amazing, and now I am home it doesn't quite taste the same but be sure to order an Americano if you want a long coffee as if you just say 'coffee' you will be handed an espresso. Which I got used to drinking. Oh dear. 

Things we did.

As was suggested, the first thing we did was arrange an Open Top Bus Tour. We were able to buy tickets in our Hotel the night before so we bought a 24 hour pass which was great because we could then use it for 2 days. We caught the bus from outside Termini station and had to queue up as it was quite a popular tour. Here's the one we used. We met some Australians as we were waiting and my companion got sold a very attractive (this is sarcasm) straw hat to protect her head on the open top as it was a sunny day. After this, the guys would not leave me alone but I stood by ground and refused to purchase one of their ridiculous items. On the bus, we met a lovely American couple (which was all I was hoping for) who found us amusing. The tour was great, and we got to see everything we could've hoped to see. We took the whole tour once over and then hopped off at the Colosseum. The day after, we got back on the bus and took it to Vatican city to save us the walk, which worked out really well!

The offensive hat

Outside the Colosseum, you will find people in costume who to my companion were a dream come true, but to me - my worst nightmare realised. The lady who posed with them for a picture before us was most dignified. They sat her on the chair delicately, placed a nice leaf crown on top of her head, gently wrapped a robe around her shoulders and posed nicely to allow her to have a nice souvenir to take home to show her family. When it was our turn, this is not what happened. They grabbed my companion, threw her on the chair, ripped down the shoulder of her dress, pulled her legs up on to the chair so she was lying down and looked naked once the robe had been thrown around her and made suggestive comments in Italian. As I was bending over through laughing so hard and I had mascara in my eyes through the tears streaming down my face at the disbelief of this unprecedented situation. This is when the tables were turned.

Before I explain what happened to me, I will tell you this. If you have ever looked into love languages, you will know that one of the languages is 'physical touch.' On a recent test I took, that category came out as zero. Acts of service was the winner as I would much rather people did something such as make me a cup of tea than give me a foot massage. I am famous for having a rather large zone of personal space, and if a stranger touches me even if to shake my hand - it makes me quite uncomfortable. I rarely initiate physical contact with anyone unless they are a baby in which case I just want to cuddle them non-stop. This is where my Roman nightmare comes in. Through all the laughter and tears and the misfortune of my companion, imagine the shock of me being grabbed by a bunch of men who took my prescription sunglasses off my face (so I was blind) threw my handbag off my shoulder, flung me onto the chair pulling my legs up so that they were crossed over and tugging at my dress to throw the robe over me. Not only this, but one of them pulled off my flip flop to try and lick my foot - which makes me feel physically sick when I remember it whilst another grabbed my left hand to put it on his bare, exposed thigh. Once the photo was over, I practically ran to get away from them throwing the crown off my head and the robe off my shoulders. I was physically shaking for about 10 minutes after and I was forced to pay 20euros for the pleasure.

I didn't need this picture to remember this moment.

Unless you are 2 young women travelling together - i'm pretty sure you won't have the same experience as we did, as we did attract a substantial amount of non-subtle male attention. I will explore this later.

We did go inside the Colosseum, which for us was great because if you are 18-25 and a Euro citizen you only have to pay 7.50euro to get in. It was raining the day we visited so we had to buy some appropriate cover ups that would help us blend in with the locals:

As with most of the trips, you can find people outside who will offer you a tour with more information however there are lots of signs inside that explain enough about what you are seeing to allow you to save a bit of money. We just wandered around under the cover and read what we wanted to. 

We also went to the Trevi fountain, which was one of my favourite spots of the trip. There were loads of tourists there doing the 'throwing the coin into the fountain' thing. Which we also did. I threw two in which apparently means you will find your true love so I'm pretty excited about that.

After we caught our tour bus again, we visited St Peter's and the Vatican Museum and Sistine Chapel. We were offered tour after tour by guys who said they would give us discount even though we didn't have our student cards with us but we decided against it. We just took photographs outside St Peters and then walked to find the Vatican Museum after a quick bite to eat.

Me and the Pope.

The Vatican Museum was absolutely huge. There is no way we saw even half of it but we reached a point whereby we decided we had seen enough. We walked through about 10 never ending, beautiful and ornate hallways that led to more and more impressive statues and paintings.

The Sistine Chapel was incredible, getting to see paintings that you have seen on cups all your life is pretty exciting. I didn't take any photos in there as I have a thing about not photographing things in Churches and as that was a rule, I decided to follow it. It was also supposed to be silent and un-photographed however when we finally got inside, it was packed full of loud tourists who were taking photographs with the flash on, which for me ruined the moment really. I just found that very disrespectful. I think there are certain things in life that if you are able, you should see for yourself because it is much more exciting. 

My favourite day involved visiting Spagna, which was a couple of train stops away from Termini. This is where the Spanish Steps are located. The night before we went, I spent some time flicking through my guidebook looking for things to do and on this occasion, it came up trumps. It boasted an English Tea Room which sealed the deal for me and we went straight there. 

Babington's Tea Rooms - opened originally for homesick English Tourists

It was a rather expensive brew, so we opted for a take away Iced tea of which I chose Earl Grey and we sat and drank it in the sun on the Spanish Steps which all felt very idillic.

After this, the guidebook recommended that we look at the fountain on the Piazza de Spagna which was at the bottom of the Steps. It was pretty beautiful but my companions choice of footwear (crocs) which did not suit the wet conditions one iota, meant that she could not pose for this photo opportunity. I could though:

The street ahead of us I would imagine is quite a famous one. The shops it contained ranged from Louis Vuitton to Gucci to Bvlgari. Safe to say we didn't pop in any of those establishments. I remember seeing a man who had 2 giant Gucci bags and 3 Tiffany's bags and thinking he probably spent more on one item than we did on our entire trip and that made me feel a bit sick. The reason for visiting this street was because the guide book had suggested a really good Greek restaurant that is worth a visit so we went to find it. When we reached it, we soon realised that it looked scarily expensive so I opted to simply have my photograph outside of it.

Instead of eating there, we found a side street which had a nice looking cafe that allowed me to have a Parma Ham and fresh Mozzarella sandwich with a fanta for 6 euros. The waiter said he wanted to come and stay with us in England. I hope he has short term memory loss as he was at least twice my age. After lunch, we looked in a few nice shops that I wanted to look up online at home as Italian fashion just looks so effortless and comfortable.

I had read about this museum:

I have relatively little knowledge about English poetry, or poetry in general but seeing as though we were there, I thought it would be a shame to pass up the opportunity. I went round this alone and found it to be an extremely peaceful place. I could see why Keats would feel inspired by his surroundings just through the view of his bedroom window:

To find out more information about this museum, check this link. It has certainly inspired me to read more poetry, especially Keats and Shelley having learnt about their lives. I think it was well worth the 4.50euros entry fee. It felt very quintessentially British, which I enjoyed about it. Look at this beautiful ceiling:

After this, we caught the train back and decided to take a coffee in a nice place that would allow us to drink coffee and people watch. Much to my companion's annoyance, I insisted we kept walking even through we had passed about 1 million coffee shops because they weren't quite right. I'm glad we did, because I had found exactly what I was looking for in this place:

We sat here and read, whilst we met a nice Canadian couple.

I got lost in a map after being distracted by all the hustle and bustle and we decided to try and find the Pantheon, so that we had seen as much as possible. In the end, we managed to find it and I'm glad we did as it was free to get in there and it was absolutely spectacular.

Other things we saw along the way involved ruins:

One of my favourite places which was called: Santa Maria degli Angeli e dei Martiri which features 'the last great architectural genius of Michelangelo.' That place made me think a lot. I found it very inspirational.

My favourite building, which just got me every single time was this one, which is used as a museum:

I just found it so incredible to look at, with those giant statues that just looked so stereotypically Roman. Every time I saw it, I took another picture because I just couldn't get over it, it is absolutely stunning.

Food to eat and drinks to drink

We only had four evening meals as it was a short break but I did manage to eat pizza nearly every night. Pizza is just not like that in England. I don't think I've ever eaten a whole one as they are two thick and full of toppings but in Italy, they are all cooked freshly in special ovens and are very thin and crisp. They don't overdo it on toppings and when I had Margarita it was easy to finish. I also had a lot of bruschetta, which tasted like a revelation. I couldn't believe how good it tasted! Lots of restaurants do special deals that include a starter and a drink which meant that eating out could be done on less than 15euros a meal. My favourite order was this Tirimasu:

Take me back.

Sandwiches during the day were also fresh and very cheap, generally about 3 or 4 euros and could be purchased from one of the million pavement vendors scattered all around the city. I would be aware of the vendor nearest to the Colosseum as I paid 4euros for a bottle of Fanta which I could've thrown in the guys face when he told me the price. Sometimes, it pays to wait if you don't want to get completely ripped off.

One thing we did make use of, was the amazing fruit shop that we walked past twice a day every day to get to and from our bus stop. We took to visiting it of a morning and couldn't believe how cheap it was! We bought nearly a kilo of fresh, giant grapes for 79cents - about 60p. At home, it would cost at least £2 for a pack of grapes half of that size. 

The Italians seemed to have a thing for big watermelons.

As I mentioned earlier, Espresso is what they drink. So my caffeine addiction grew ever so slightly whilst I was there and it is going to be difficult to even it out again. Much like Greece, the Italians also serve a lot of Ice Tea which I love so some days, my only liquid intake would involve caffeine. Woops.  Coffee was cheap as chips though, and my Cappuccino was the best I have ever tasted, ever. I brought some good coffee back home with me.


A Brit's Observations

If you are English, female and travelling alongside another female - you will turn a lot of heads. One day, as me and my companion were bickering about where she should best pose for a photograph, a random onlooker said to me that we were both 'unbelievably English.' Everywhere we walked, people stared at us. We especially attracted a lot of male attention, which is something of a rarity for me especially as in England I can only recall drawing the eye of drunken forty somethings in Weatherspoons pub (which, in my town is the cheap one you use to start your night out). It surprised me how obvious the men were too. One day, I popped my head around a corner to check whether the road was safe to cross and a bus driver flashed his lights and raised his eyebrows at me. In England - bus drivers tend to drive past you so as to ruin your day and make you wait an extra 30 minutes in the rain for the next one, just because they can. So that one came as a surprise.

Lots of the men said we were beautiful and one of our waiters kept reiterating the fact that they served cocktails until 2am, possibly in the hope that we would stay. One of the hotel workers made a few tongue in cheek jokes about how he would've enjoyed a night with us to which we laughed and ran to bed, promptly locking our door. Though I am making them sound creepy, it wasn't like that. We were probably quite different to the norm - curvy and adorned in bright florals instead of slim and classically dressed. I would be lying if I said I wasn't flattered, as Englishmen especially are very reserved and would never act in this way unless under the influence of alcohol in a sweaty club, which isn't the most romantic of settings. So, if all else fails, I may find someone in Italy.

One thing I found unbelievably tempting was the urge to buy a brightly coloured umbrella so as to pretend I was a tour guide to distract the tourists away from their pack and make loads of stuff up that they would believe and go home and tell their friends and look silly. I blame my Britishness for this, buy I dreamt of doing that a LOT.

Conclusion

All in all, we had a great trip. It was very tiring, as we managed to cram a whole Calendar's worth of places in 3 days. We tried to do it cheaply, so didn't opt to do add ons such as tours/buy tour guides as we just worked it out for ourselves or just read up on it. The city is all go, but is full of fascinating artefacts  buildings/architecture and vehicles. It is easier one might think to get bearings and work out how to get about. I will leave you with one of my favourite snaps, as before we went I found it a stereotypical Italian image:

Much Love xxx

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Spring Forwards, Fall Back...

I'm finally excited about Autumn. I love seasons. As summer doesn't last very long in England, we tend to be forced into making the most of the other seasons i.e. winter and winter. It looks like the little bit of hope I was holding on to that we might just get a freak September heatwave again may have been shattered so it is time to accept that Autumn is upon us. Everyone is writing about it, Pintrest is full of it and my freezing cold toes and hands are proof of it. So this week I have felt inspired to do something to mark the turn of the season.

Soupa

Most of this came in the form of cooking. The first thing I did was to make soup. I hardly ever eat soup - it just never excites me but all I could think about one day this week was my burning desire to make an autumnal soup. I also got to use my blender attachement for my Kenwood mixer for the first time which of course, ended in absolute disaster. After I had prepared my butternut squash (which is not an enjoyable task, may I add) and sweet potato with my stock and various other spices and flavours, I had blended it to perfection and it tasted divine. As I unscrewed my blender to serve my piping hot soup whilst I was barefoot and apronless, instead of unscrewing the base of the blender, I opened the bit above which resulted in a sort of orange soup fountain that then covered the floor, walls, cupboards, unit, hob, my dress and my bare feet. I let out a yelp and used almost an entire roll of kitchen roll to clear it up but all was ok. I was more distressed that this soup, that I had tasted only minutes before, could not be enjoyed. I settled for a tin instead on that occassion. The next day, being the trooper that I am I decided to start again and this time used my hand blender. I added a little more chilli which gave it a kick and it made two nice lunches, which I enjoyed with fresh tiger bread:

Christmas

The second thing I did was start my Christmas Crafts. I tried out the salt dough and couldn't believe how easy it was. I am yet to paint them but for my first experiment, I thought they came out quite cute. I am going to finish them off with gingham ribbon and I was thinking of mixing gold glitter in with my paint to give them a bit of texture. As I am VERY traditional when it comes to Christmas - there are only three acceptable colours to use which are; red, gold and green. So that is what they shall be. I think if the gingerbread men come out nicely then I will make lots of these as gingerbread men make for my favourite type of decoration at Christmas time...they are just SO cute. I did a nice one that isn't on the picture that says 'Peace' - now I'm glad I bought all these cookie cutters! This is a really cheap and easy task to do with kids too - it probably cost me under £1 to make all these as I already had the cutters but I bought two packs of kiddie ones (the hearts and stars) which came 5 to a pack for £1 too and I've used them for biscuits as well.

Apples

A week or so ago, I made an apple, cinnamon and sultana cobbler and apple sauce. From that I had 3 apples left over. Another day this week, I couldn't get the apples out of my head and had to use them for something. So, apple crumble it was. One of my favourite hearty and easy peasy desserts ever. I liked this recipe though there did seem to be an excessive amount of crumble to fruit ratio but that was probably my fault. I used this recipe and would definitely recommend it :)

I also made this spiced Carrot cake which, for a cake is relatively low fat as it doesn't use butter but vegetable oil and low fat natural yoghurt. It smelt yummy. 

I do love the switching of clothes. I keep all my winter clothes in a separate place so that I can put away the summer dresses until next year, and switch them for winter woolies like woollen socks and oversized cardigans. I love fluffy warm tights and long boots. I also have an obsession with mittens, my favourite pair are my knitted ones with the long string which make me feel like a child. I have loads of massive winter scarves and cardigans. I love short nights where we can just shut ourselves in warmth and drink Christmassy drinks with good movies and blankets. The landscape (especially where I live) looks stunning when all the leaves are turning. I will get my camera out for that this year :) Sadly our coffee shops don't tend to brink out autumnal drinks but I love it when the Christmas ones get announced. I think Costa's were the best by FAR last year. I digress...

Soon, if not today I will be watching Elf. Every year I watch that movie over and over and over and as soon as I have watched it once it will mark the end of Autumn in my head and the start of Christmas. I will be thinking of cinnamon, mulling, jam making, spices, carols and gingerbread men. That will be my new focus. So autumn, if this is the last time I think of you this year - thank you for a great week. Alas, Christmas is around the corner (I tend to count Christmas as a season and not a holiday.)

Much Love xxx

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When I grow up, I want to be....

Yesterday, I read this article which is all about your passions and how you can create a reality made out of your dreams.

'Yes, meaningful work really is within your grasp. It begins with asking what you do best, and then considering how you can engage your talents in daily work.

You can recapture that childlike creativity you may have lost. You can release the dreams and sense of purpose you had as a child. You may find your prayers invigorated, now knowing there is a day-by-day application of God’s design for your life.'

After I read this, I went away and started to think what I wanted to be as a child. I remember growing up, I used to spend a lot of time by myself because I liked the pleasure of my own company and could easily find things to occupy myself. Which hasn't really changed all that much! I used to spend a lot of time at my gran's house  where every single week I would take my beloved Mary Poppins VHS with me and we would always have tea and ginger biscuits for supper. I also thought about games I used to play and I remember telling some friends at Uni about this because I thought everyone would play it...but it seems they didn't. Either before or after watching Mary Poppins again, I would go to my gran's cupboard and get her old telephone out. I would also get a notepad and play Offices. I would pretend I was taking orders, calling important people and sorting things out in the business. Sometimes my gran would give me old things from my grandad's office that I could use because she did all his invoices. That was a real treat! When I did my work experience, for two weeks I went to my mum's office and loved it. I got to do alsorts of inputting and pretending that I knew what all these people were talking about. Later in life I became an administrator for a couple of jobs which I loved. Now, I am applying for alsorts of administration roles as I couldn't quite decide between that and youth work because unusually, I love both (which is quite rare!)

Thinking back to playing offices made me laugh because though it isn't what every 4 year old dreamt of - it's what I've ended up doing and being quite passionate about. Maybe I was born realistic or something because I can't remember ever wanting to be a superhero or a nanny who flies and jumps into chalk paintings. 

The second game I always used to play was teachers. I would get all my books out and make pretend book logs for all my pupils so I could check how well their reading was coming along. I used to mark all their work with a red pen and leave lots of corrections. I gave them merits and detentions. I was quite fair I think. This also made me laugh, because although I've not ended up in a school, (maybe I will!) I am an educator of sorts. My favourite part of youth work is helping the youngsters develop skills, self-esteem, confidence and the ability to question and make sense of the world around them. I have used my admin dreams to create projects and resources for them to use and then sit and go through it with them. I love that. 

Finding this article made me realise that the dreams you have as a child can absolutely become a reality, as mine have. Of course, I have other dreams such as becoming a mother and marrying a (tall) American cowboy. Or one day owning a café so that I can legitimately spend all day in one of those places. Or setting up my own project that works with young mums as that combines two of my passions - youth work and babies. Those are future dreams. Those are ones that I can make happen! That is exciting. I read another good article in this magazine that talked about 'Millennials' which I had never heard of but I guess i'm one of them and how their work ethic is changing. It said that 50% of millennials would rather have no job than a job they hate. It also described how life isn't all about work to this age group - that it's more important that they are making a difference rather than just working to pay bills. Now, this is nice if what you dream of doing pays well. I realise that not everyone will have this freedom to pursue their dream jobs as if in my case you have chosen a career path that doesn't always pay all that well. But is if you can afford to do it and can learn to live on a little then I think it is better to have a job that is rewarding and is not motivated only by money.

Far, far away...

I think sometimes as Christians we become obsessed with having to work somewhere that isn't our home. We look at people who travel off to Africa for a month or to some other country doing some 'crazy' gap year which leaves us, stuck at home in a seemingly boring job feeling inadequate. Like we aren't living the dream because we are here and they are there. But when these people are out in another country - what are they doing there? Teaching? Running summer schools?  Feeding the hungry? Can't we do that here, on our doorstep? The problem is, is that we're afraid of settling somewhere because we think we should be anywhere else, doing anything else and being anyone else. We can't deal with being normal - early nights, early mornings, routine, work, nights in etc. Just can't be our reality. But it is up to us to make the reality of life more exciting:

'We need to live an adventure in the everyday ordinary'

Of course, being 21 and a recent graduate I too am feeling the fear of settling because the world, right now is my oyster. However, in the place I am in - making everyday an adventure is something I am trying to do - to make the most of it and to enjoy this time as much as I can because any day now it could all change. What i'm saying is that we need to stop comparing ourselves and our lives to other people and to focus on what it is we are called to do and live that to the full. We can get involved in projects, groups, communities, volunteering opportunities in our own towns and make a difference there! That is exciting. Being normal is not a bad thing! 

What are your dreams? How can you incorporate them into your every day life? Who wants to watch Mary Poppins with me?

Much Love xxx

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Things I Miss About University

I realise that I didn't leave Uni all that long ago, but there's this odd feeling you get when you leave...it's almost as if it never happened. You spend three busy years surrounded by new people going from social event to social event with a few essays in between and it all buzzes by so quickly that it's over before it's even begun. When you start your first year, you feel like you have forever. That those three years ahead of you will feel like a lifetime but unfortunately, that is not the case. I still cannot believe it is all over. I sit here back in my hometown at a time I should be packing up and making that nightmare journey ready to unpack my ridiculous amounts of 'stuff' in to my old room with the big bay window that during the winter made my bedroom feel like Alaska.

Alas, I am not. I am in my second coffee shop of the day (supping on tea because coffee goes straight through me if I drink it before 12pm for some strange reason), filling in yet another job application form which by now i'm pretty sure are getting sent off and then ending up in a black hole as I am hearing very little for all the forms I have sent out. I am sure that one day soon it will all just come together and I will be thankful for this time I have had to get involved with all the things that I won't be able to once I'm employed such as charity events, setting up groups at Church, catching up with people I have missed, making Christmas crafts already etc. 

Having said all of this, I have started to think back to Uni and remember all the good things about it - which I of course, miss.

1) I miss this conversation; Me: It's 1am, I need to go to bed. talks. Me: Oh dear, it's 2am, I really should be in bed. talks. Housemate: It's 3am, you said you needed to go to bed 2 hours ago. talks. Me: It's 4am. There's no point going to bed now. (This happened a LOT in 2nd year)

2) I miss sitting in coffee shops all day with the same person. Oh, wait...I still do that.

3) I miss walking out of my door to Chester town centre and seeing approximately 1,500, 987 people that I knew.

4) I miss going into Starbucks and always finding someone I knew.

5) I miss Northgate Church.

6) I miss walking the walls. (google Chester, England and you will see these walls)

7) I miss the random adventures we would just decide to go on.

8) I miss my house and the way there was guaranteed to be someone there who didn't live with me at all times.

9) I miss my lectures. (The stupid ones - we were youth workers)

10) I miss living right by Starbucks so it would be rude if I didn't pop in on the way to my 9am lecture and then be late by at least 10 minutes because the queue was so flipping long.

11) I miss Cheshire. It's a lovely part of the world.

12) I miss all the amazing friends I made. (Going from seeing them every day to never is not so nice.)

13) I miss everyone mocking my accent (NOT)

14) I miss the Uni community - neighbours, friends of friends, people who lived on our street, different Church folk, CU folk.. all of them were great.

15) I miss being the only student house with a garden. I sat in that garden every single time the sun shone.

16) I miss being in a safe place where I didn't have to look for a job.

17) I miss our house, all 8 of us 'The Babs' became our infamous nickname and how everyone who visited (if we liked them enough haha) became 'A Babs.'

18) I miss student life.

19) I miss being in walking distance of everything.

20) I miss the cocktail bars.

21) I miss student discount

22) I miss being able to go to Orange Wednesday every week.

23) I miss not quite being a grown up.


I hate ending on an odd number but at the moment i'm not sure right now what specifics I would add. There are a LOT of things I miss and remember with fondness. That was a great chapter of my life and I am sad it is over. However, I am beginning to be excited to be the one who stays behind whilst everyone else goes back to University. I've never been that person before. My life at the moment is in a very humbling stage, getting knock backs from jobs that I must be qualified for and becoming a supporter and not being a leader are new experiences for me so I know I am going to learn a lot in this stage.

I loved University life - it was the best decision I ever made and I will always look back on it with a thankful heart and a tear in my eye!

Much Love xxx

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'Take heart, because I have overcome the world.'

It's been a while since I wrote a meaty post and this one has been brewing for a little while so I thought I should share. I've been reading this book entitled 'Stop Acting like a Christian, Just BE One.' The title immediately grabbed my attention as it reminded me of a rather life changing youth work book that for a time, I did not stop going on about called Contemplative Youth Ministry by Mark Yaconelli. It is all about 'being' in the moment with young people and preparing to dedicate long amounts of time to them as they grow. The role of the youth worker here is described as a supportive presence rather than a dictator. This is the type of philosophy I love and I will mention this again later.

Truth

Back to Christine Caine. What I love so far about her book is that she peels back the layers of Christianity - showing it as something that isn't just portrayed through our actions and choices but rather our heart attitude. This is very true. I think sometimes we look at each others actions such as drinking, smoking, swearing and start to question each others' 'walk with God' (which is a phrase we use too often!) instead of getting to know the heart attitude behind those actions.

One of my favourite ever CU meetings at Chester University will never leave my memory. I remember getting up and grabbing the mic because it was the first time I'd ever thought that this is what it should look like. That particular week people were sharing their hardships, hurts from the past, shedding tears etc. It was messy. But shouldn't it be like that all the time? When we share our hurts and hardships, we begin to open wounds, which will then in-turn allow the healing process to begin. In Church or at Christian gatherings, we should absolutely feel comfortable enough to be able to share what is really going on because we are a family! Families as you may know, are not always plain sailing! Church is not a place that we should go to on a Sunday with a well rehearsed smile and a preset answer of 'i'm fine' if deep down, you're really not.

Not only this, but we also tend to forget that just because we are Christians that does not by any means go to say that we do not make mistakes. I think we have a fear of showing our mistakes, and acknowledging that we will always make them. We get so caught up in 'appearing' to have it all together instead of being true to how our heart is really feeling and this has to stop.

Heart

I mess up all the time. As a student in recovery, sometimes I still accidentally drink just one too many cocktails. Sometimes, I am too quick to react which brings frustration without me knowing the full story. Sometimes I struggle to understand and accept other people's opinions if I think they are wrong. If you wake me up in a morning before I am ready to face the day - you will not get a pleasant response. There you go. Those are some parts of me that could do with some tweaking. But here's the thing. If I drink too much one time - does that mean my Faith is falling apart? If I'm getting annoyed at someone, should I lose my seat in Church? If I throw something at you because you wake me up (which I have never done haha!) have I lost my place in Heaven? Let's think about this.

When you begin to look past my actions, good or bad what does my heart say? You will find that my heart says thank you. Thank you God that even when I am bad, you are always good. Thank you God that even when my head and my heart are a mess you look upon me and see the child you created in love. Thank you God that no matter what I do, nothing will ever break the bond of love that you and I share. Christine writes:

'To keep our hearts alive and vibrant, we need to maintain an attitude of gratitude and thanksgiving. As Paul says, we must "Thank [God] in everything [no matter what the circumstances may be, be thankful and give thanks], for this is the will of God for you [who are] in Christ Jesus [the Revealer and Mediator of that will]" (1 Thess. 5:18 Amp) Loving God with all our heart flows from a heartfelt gratitude to God for who He is and for all He continues to do.'

Life

Every day I am thankful for the Grace and Forgiveness poured upon me from God through Jesus. At the core of Christianity is the ache of God's heart for us to share this love that He has poured on us with those who do not yet know it. It is our duty to include everyone within that and not to promote a lifestyle that on the surface looks perfect with a heart that is not genuine. Our lifestyle is not supposed to be unattainable to those who do not follow it because the Church primarily exists for its non-members. When we talk about being 'in and not of' the world we must be careful because we cannot alienate ourselves and form an elite that 'have all the answers.' We cannot take ourselves out of our communities and separate ourselves from 'non-Christians,' rather we should be in the middle of it! We are just trying to make our way through life like everybody else is, with a few differences. We cannot create a Christian sub-culture that will reach to a far away country and not to our next door neighbour.

Love

It doesn't take a lot of searching to find that at the core of what we as Christians do should be motivation by the love of God.

'Most important of all, continue to show deep love for each other, for love covers a multitude of sins'

The kind of love that I feel burdened to carry is one that waits. I know my journey to Faith took a long time to form and was not an instantaneous response like some. I took time to build up trust, to ask questions (as I still do as I think that is healthy!), to let down barriers and to believe that this was what I believed to be the truth. I therefore - as I mentioned earlier carry a philosophy that allows people to take time to decide whether Christianity is what they want to follow, to go off and make mistakes and one day return and enjoy speaking to people at length about what I believe and why and give them the space to do the same things. A relationship with God is like any other - it requires trust, time, effort, patience and honesty and I don't think all those things form over night. That is how I feel - you may feel differently but that is fine as the body needs all its parts to function so we all play a different role and have different ways of doing things such as Evangelism. 

Hope

Christianity gives me hope that I exist for a purpose bigger than for myself and my own gratification. The world owes me nothing - I owe God everything. I believe He showed me what life is. He told me that my actions have the power to influence those around me and it is my choice whether that is for good or bad. I am urged to choose good. Each day I hope that the love I carry shines brightly and that it continually grows so that I can stand up for injustice and reach those who are lost and alone. Through grace, I have been spared that and I think others should be too. In times of testing, I am never pushed too far though sometimes I feel like I am. On a bad day, I am always blessed with something good, whether that be through a friend or a good cup of tea. I am blessed with so many people who have made sacrifices for me and have helped me in a time of need and I want to be able to return that to people I meet. Nothing you have done is big enough or bad enough to stop you re-forming a relationship with your creator.

My final thought is this, however hard I may find things, however lost I may feel or however far I am pushed to my limit:

'He knows where I am going. And when He tests me, I will come out as pure as gold.' Job 23:10 Not on my own merit - but through Jesus.

Much Love xxx

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Chatsworth House.

You may have read my recent post entitled 'Places I'd like to Visit.' If you have, you will know that Chatsworth House was one of those. Now, I have! The house was quite exquisite however, compared to some Period properties I have seen it was even more extravagant than I had first thought it would be. Most of these properties have similar features; hand painted Chinese wallpaper, (which I always fall in love with) very dark wood, ornate furniture, lots and lots of China and over the top furnishings. This house was all that and more. It had a crazy mixture of massive crystals, a lot of art, very dark furniture and a seemingly odd mix of modern and traditional pieces.

What makes this place so special is indeed its grounds. The gardens are stunning, although we didn't by any means get to see all of them. We did see the classic views that I was hoping to see and my favourite part was the man playing piano in the library as we walked around the house. Here are some of my favourite snaps of the day:

The Beautiful Dining Room

Pride & Prejudice 

The House & Garden

The Incredible Emperor Fountain 

Me in the gardens

I thought this was a nice view...of the house...haha

Inside the greenhouse

Orange Tree

In the Chatsworth area there was also a lovely Farm Shop which was nice but quite pricey and some nice shops are on the grounds that sell good souvenirs. We bought jam. I didn't want to take too many photos as I think it's one of those places you need to behold with your own eyes! If you're a lover of tradition and a dreamer of Mr Darcy - you will LOVE it.

Much Love xxx

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