Your Best Yes.

“Saying yes all the time won’t make me wonder woman, it will make me a worn-out woman.” Lysa Terkuerst I have just finished reading a book called 'The Best Yes' by Lysa Terkuerst. I loved every word of it. I have to say, it felt good to actually find time again to sit down and read a book, so the fact that it offered some pretty transformational stuff was a real bonus! It was packed to the rafters with simple truths that so many of us have forgotten in and amongst the busyness of our lives. 
As I settle in to a new routine, I have really started to process all the things I learnt in my time in America. One of the things I was not very good at over there was saying 'no.' I love to serve, love to make things happen and love to be on the move but this soon led me to disaster. Overwhelmed by all the things I could be doing, the people I could be helping, the meals I could be preparing, I soon forgot how to take care of myself. Many of the yes's I said were good but they were rarely directed at myself. I soon became so consumed by all the yes's I could be saying for others that I was unable to sleep properly, to control my tears and to switch off and prioritise rest. In the end, I had utterly lost myself. 
As Christians, we are called to some quite simple but highly important actions:

Jesus said, “‘Love the Lord your God with all your passion and prayer and intelligence.’ This is the most important, the first on any list. But there is a second to set alongside it: ‘Love others as well as you love yourself.’ These two commands are pegs; everything in God’s Law and the Prophets hangs from them.”

Matthew 22:37-40
How can we love others, if we don't know how to love ourselves? How do we find others important, if we don't believe we ourselves are important? How to we truly take care of others, if we don't know how to care for ourselves? The more we see of the world, the more we see how hurting and broken it is. Truthfully, there will always be something that we could be doing to serve someone else. But if in the midst of our service, we are neglecting ourselves - we have missed the mark. I cannot be all, see all, hear all and do all. I cannot give out of an empty store. If I allow my mind to be constantly filled with the needs of others, my own needs soon escape and they go on ignored. If I am trying to help someone else and make them feel important, but do not see myself as important, how effective can I really be? 
I am not much of a social networker these days, but I do daily check my beloved Instagram. I follow an organisation called 'So Worth Loving' who post so many little inspirations. Here's a good un I read the other day:

‘“Surround yourself with people who build you up and inspire you not to give up” - Concious magazine. Loving people comes as you learn to love yourself. Community can be your safe escape. When you don’t have it in you to love on yourself you can lean into the people around you to lift you up. Let the way they love you bring hope that you will get through. With community, there is hope.’

Sometimes, when we have neglected ourselves for so long, there is a point at which we break and recognise the need for change. It isn't easy. In order to push through, we need each other, we need friends who love us and care for us to help bind back together our broken hearts. One thing I realised in the US was that however much people complimented me, encouraged me and built me up - it never felt like enough. In my mind, I was constantly thinking; 'but I could've done that better,' 'but I shouldn't have said that,' 'there is more I could be doing.' I didn't allow myself to accept the kindness being offered because I didn't think I deserved it. I was 'just doing my job.' But now I am on a new journey. 

Saying no is not easy. Trying to prioritise myself feels extremely unnatural. Listening to myself and what I need feels odd. But I cannot live a life without such boundaries without burning out and becoming useful to no-one. For the first time, I am not rushing myself through this season but allowing my heart and head the time it needs to heal, hear and feel truth. The biggest lesson I have taken from the aforementioned book is that I can say 100 yes's to all sorts of seemingly wonderful things- but in doing that, I could be saying one big fat no to something that could've been the best thing for me. If I sign up to 10 different great things; serving at Church, volunteering at a Charity, getting back into youth ministry, taking on extra things at work - then I stretch myself so far that I cannot do them all well. However, if I sit - weigh up decisions, see if it fits in my schedule, check how much time I can dedicate to it, how well I can do it then that could be one, huge best yes that truly benefits everyone. 

Boundaries are so healthy and we all need not only to have them in our lives but also protect them. Right now, I am in a time of rebuilding and strengthening. I don't have much energy or strength to take on much more than I have. I am at peace with that. I owe myself this time and am so thankful that I have such close friends who are picking me up, loving me and pouring in to me. I do not have to justify my decisions to anyone on earth and to me, that feels like freedom! Today, I need to be in the comfort of my safety zone and though I won't stay there forever - it's the only place I can focus on right now.

‘Every day we make choices. Then our choices make us.’

Lysa Terkuerst. 

What choices can you make today that will give you a better tomorrow?

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My Happy Place.

The last time I sat here was right at the end of summer camp. I tend to find a 'happy place' wherever I go so that when I feel overwhelmed or need to process my thoughts, I can find a space that is 'my own part of nature' where I will hopefully be undisturbed for a while. My Yorkshire happy place was atop the hills where I could see the trees, valleys and sheep. My Chester happy place were the Roman Walls where I could go and watch the sunset over the city.

So here I am, in my Wilmington happy place, legs dangling off the edge of a hidden away wall at the back of Brandywine park, perhaps for the last time. I am surrounded by big, beautiful trees that are beginning to drop fall coloured leaves that are slowly drifting towards the little waterfall which will float them down through the rock filled stream towards the fishermen and cute looking Church picnic I passed on the way in.

It's hard to find peace in such a time of unrest and confusion. All the people finding out I'm headed home who are asking what changed and wishing I would stay. All the people at home asking what I will do, what's my plan? Truthfully, I don't know. I feel like one of those little leaves in a big river, one minute floating along all calm, knowing where I am and what my role is to all of a sudden hitting a big gush of water and now I'm in a new place all over again starting at a new path, with new surroundings and a different future.

source

One thing I have learnt, is that we are called to bloom where we are planted. I remember before I left, I spoke to someone about my move to the US. He said to me that a job is a job, wherever you do it. That is so true. Moving away from home to do a job doesn't automatically make it more of a success than if I'd done it in England, though I may have thought that. Of course, making the move has changed and grown me in more ways than I could've imagined and it has given me knowledge about totally different cultures as well as giving me the chance to share mine. I have pushed my self harder than ever before and for the first time, I've found my limits. I have seen that wherever I am placed or wherever I find myself, I can find something to do that will help someone else. I never had to be thousands of miles away to do that though I have absolutely no regret in this experience.

I have mentioned this in my writing before (check (you can read here) but there's a song by Brooke Fraser that says; 'now that I have seen, I am responsible.' That line challenges me constantly. Once we know there is a need within our community, even if it means pushing outside of what is comfortable but are able to, we should do it. That is a conviction upon which I am unwilling to compromise. I can do what needs to be done wherever I am sat. I am not called to be apathetic. I am called to action. I should bloom where I am planted.

'Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.’ 

What lies ahead for me is unknown, though hopefully my immediate future will involve some rest, reunions and Yorkshire Pudding. But now I see life again from a whole new perspective, knowing there is at least one constant in my life who knows the desires of my heart and knows the plans and purpose He has for me. My Faith and hope is stronger than ever before which is helping me to find joy and peace amongst the goodbyes and upheavals. I have loved my life here and was glad to call it home, even if it was just for the length of a pregnancy as someone pointed out yesterday!!

I'd best get back to enjoying my last bit of sunshine!

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Time for a new dream...

I write this post with quite a heavy yet peaceful heart. It's funny when I look back just over the past few weeks or even days to see how quickly things can change. No two days here have ever been the same and after the team disbanded, time seemed to be going very slowly, unlike what I had experienced whilst we were still united. So much had happened over the past 7 months that I couldn't really process it all until it all ended. There was so much noise going on in my head, worries, cares, 'is everyone ok,' 'could I be doing something for someone,' 'what do I need to do tomorrow.' It was like a constant buzzing, that blocked out all of my thoughts for my own needs. I remember the moment we pulled away from Philadelphia airport thinking, 'this feels strange, I can think about myself again.' 

There's something about living in community, or so I found, that made it quite impossible for me to ever sit and think about myself. I guess I just plodded along with everything, maybe not knowing what I was agreeing to and pushing through the next day. I rarely stopped to think anything through, because there wasn't much time to. When summer camp was going on, I was all consumed by it and certainly didn't have time to stop and smell the roses. That was just not natural for me. I am an extremely reflective person. I hear comments that maybe someone will make in passing, not thinking I am listening and I will sit and stew on them for days. If I think i've caused offense, I will bring that up with the person and deal with it, maybe a week after they said it. I will sit and ponder deep thoughts, about how I could improve, how I could handle that situation better, how the other people might or might not be feeling around me, how my decisions might affect my neighbors and so on and so forth. I do not say things for dramatic effect. Usually, the words I say, particularly if they are big statements have been thought out for days on end before they come out of my mouth. I mean them. 

When I started to think I couldn't do this job without the team I had around me, I really meant it. As much as I mean the words, 'I love tea.' I began to see that the people whom were placed around me balanced me out in more ways than I first realised. If I haven't stressed this before, this is an extremely emotional job. Everytime I get a little closer to one of these kids, my heart breaks a little bit more. Whilst I know what we do is potentially life changing for them, my emotions are just too strong and I am not able to switch off. If I cannot separate my emotions from my job, I cannot function as a normal human being. Of course, you must have a true 'heart' for ministry. You need a great motivation to get out of bed every day and work more hours than most other humans and invest your life in a cause like this. For the past 8 months, that is what I have done but what I have come to realise as I have truly crashed and burned is that however much I love these children, I am not built for this role. I cannot give them my best when I haven't slept properly in days. Neither can I give them my best if I am constantly anxious and losing patience. I can't do it and take care of myself at the same time.

'Wisdom makes decisions today that will still be good tomorrow.' 

Lysa Terkeurst

So, after many days of constant prayer, advice seeking, late nights and over-thinking, I have decided to return to England. Before I set foot on that plane, I said that I was coming here to see whether or not my future was here. I decided that if it wasn't, at least I had given it a go, no regrets. Mission accomplished! I have learnt more about myself, and others in this time than I ever have in my life so far. I have done things that I would never have thought I could do but I have also learnt what my limitations are, and where I should work that will bring out the best in me. My personality type means that I am lead by feelings and emotions and that I can exist happily only when in a team, especially in a work environment. For a while, I felt I had failed my assignment. I should be able to do this, I should be able to love these kids and keep going despite my struggles but I know that is not wise. I think to truly understand, you have to experience it for yourself! 

Of course, that leaves me back in a place where I have to figure it out all over again but I will enter a new season being stronger than before, with a better understanding of who I am, with new, more mature and well rounded perspectives and an appreciation for those around me who love me like I've never had before. Without the support and belief of friends and family, I truly could not have done this at all. Knowing that they will be there to welcome me and support me the same in whatever comes next is what makes me feel good about this decision. They do not look upon this as a failure or a disappointment but they trust my judgement enough to know that I can pick myself up and carry on to the next stage. I also want to thank all the Churches and organizations filled with people who offered me more love, support and generosity than I have ever experienced. Thank you for accepting me and all my exceptionally British ways! The children I have met here have made an eternal mark upon my heart and I will never forget them. My prayer is that whatever I've done here, however small, will have done something in at least one of them that will make a difference to their future. I am abundantly blessed to know that I have friends scattered all across America (and a couple in Germany!) who I am sure will offer me a guest bed should I ever desire it ;) I am eternally grateful for every prayer prayed, every message sent, every Skype call, every cent donated, for this experience leaves me better (and hopefully others!) and more able to make a positive impact somewhere else in the future.

‘The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps.’

Proverbs 16:9

America, I love ya. Thanks for letting this Yorkshire lass pursue her dream. Now, it's time to make some new ones!

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So long, farewell, Auf Wiedersehen...

Well, I can't believe this is it! After seven wonderful and often challenging months, it is time to say goodbye to our German friends. When I came to be an intern here, I had no idea what I was signing up for. I knew very little about Delaware, the organisation or the people I was about to spend the next few months living and working alongside. I certainly didn't anticipate how close we would grow and how much of a family we would become.

It was such an extreme for me to go from living with all girls in my University years to all guys when I came here. I can't even begin to tell you how much I have learnt about the male species in such a short time! Though at times I did miss female company, I have to say I wouldn't change it. It will be so strange not to be picked on constantly or to finish last in whatever activity it is we're doing because I'm the only non-competitive one. We have had so much laughter along with the tears (mainly from me!!) and I am extremely sad to see this chapter end.

After our summer camp was finished, we took a retreat with Urban Promise and I think for me, that is when I began to process everything. It hit me, finally, in the van ride home from beautiful Cape Henlopen, that this is actually my life now. I kept thinking, when the guys leave, it will all get serious and life will go back to normal. But as I looked around me at all the people I get to do life with, I don't think it really will be normal! Though I have found the past few weeks incredibly tough, I came out of it still with a smile on my face and a lot of that is to do with the amazing people surrounding me who never stopped supporting, loving and encouraging me to push through the next day.

Ministry is an emotional place (especially for me!) and leadership can often become lonely but if I learnt anything this summer, it is that I was not made to do any of this on my own. I got to see all the gifts that had been placed in others around me, which I had the joy of encouraging to bloom throughout camp and beyond. As I watched my team, I began to realise that I couldn't do the job they were doing, I was not designed for it. For a time, and not with a jealous or insecure heart, I started to think I really didn't have many gifts at all, not compared to them. I often feel like I have good intentions, like when I cook something special for someone and use the wrong ingredient and it fails. Or when I spend hours planning lessons for kids filled with crafts and wonderful ideas and they just won't listen. The thought was there, but I never quite pull it off. Maybe that's how i'm destined to be, content with knowing that I've offered whatever I've gone into, however small it is, everything I have.

Though I feel right now like I'm losing my closest friends and can't imagine how life or this ministry will look without them, I still have the comfort of knowing that I have been called here for a purpose and that, I have never doubted. Whatever my team looks like, these children need to be loved and that will not change. In all honesty, I am slightly fearful of the future, perhaps for the first time in my life, as I realise how far from home I really am. But I am also excited and often overwhelmed by the possibilities of where we will go from here. It is strange to experience saying goodbye, knowing that I will be staying behind, but it gives me very a important perspective and huge gratitude for my family and friends who watched me step on the plane to come here in the first place. Without your continued love and support, there is no way I could be here doing what I am doing, however much we miss each other every day.

I can look back on this roller coaster ride of a year with a truly thankful heart. I have made friends who are as brothers and can't wait to see where they will be led in the future. Their departure is giving my tear ducts a bit of a beating but I am so glad they have learnt to deal with an overly emotional female - I do love to educate. It has been such a fun and adventurous chapter and now it is already time to start another one! 

I love you guys!!!

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In The Summertime.

It's pretty unbelievable that we're already partway through summer but let's not dwell on that! Right now we are almost halfway through our first summer camp - 'Camp Youth for Christ' in partnership with Urban Promise who I have mentioned many a time. So far, though it has been busy and a lot of extra work for me, (as I am camp director) it has been full of greatness. It's lovely to see our kids respond to a new discipline/reward system but also to get them mingling with other kids in the city. We all join together every week (all 7 camps across the city) to go on joint field trips which the kids have loved.

I have to say, wearing shorts for 6 weeks filled me with nothing but dread alas, at the end of every day I can slip back into normality aka a dress. Life is full of sacrifices. The kids are learning all about the Fruits of the Spirit which are pretty huge life lessons for a younger audience. Teaching them about self control when they all want to play the X-Box at once is no easy task. Asking them to practice patience when traveling 2 hours to our field trip destination takes work. Getting them to speak kind words instead of hurtful ones requires constant intervention. But, in the end it will hopefully get through to them in some way that will shape their character for the future. Plus, it's just important for all the leaders to practice the same things! Many of my days are spent trying to ensure everything is running smoothly as well as disciplining the kids and checking all my staff are ok. One of these days, I might actually get to drink a full cup of tea. However, we are making some great memories and I am learning something new every single day.

Saying cheese for me in free time! 

In our opening program games...

Water fight! Very necessary in this heat!

I also just spent my first 4th July weekend in the States. Though I have to say, it didn't quite live up to my expectations, I FINALLY convinced my YFC family to go somewhere for breakfast. I was originally insistent upon Ihop but settled for an independent diner which kept everyone happy because I could eat pancakes and fresh strawberries and the guys could eat as much bacon and sausage as they jolly well wanted. Here we are:

I was feeling very joyful about this moment.

We then went to Rehoboth beach in time for the Germany vs France game whilst the rain was pouring but thankfully Germany won so the day was not ruined! However, we didn't really know what to do at the beach in the rain for 7 hours as we waited for the fireworks, (seeing as though my suggestions of sandcastle building, hole digging and fish n chip eating all well and truly bombed) we decided to head home. I accidentally fell asleep in the middle of a movie as keeps happening lately but woke up in time to go watch the fireworks at the Riverfront. I have to say, it was probably the best firework display I've ever seen - including London at New Years, mainly because no chaos ensued following the end of the display! There was a moment in the finale where the sky looked like it was covered in glitter..it was amazing. They really go all out for the 4th. So I enjoyed it in the end!

Though we all know time flies when you're having fun, there really is no slowing it down lately. We have just over a month left together and I may or may not be at a point already where I cry every time I talk or think about saying goodbye to my German family. Though some times have been tough for us and we are all feeling tired, it's very hard to imagine life here without them. Today, we had a team meeting where I received my usual feedback of; 'Sarah, some things to work on - first of all, cry less.' HA! I don't even argue with it anymore. I have no shame in saying I have cried twice today as I've talked about the guys leaving. It's going to be a long few weeks!!! It is going to be like University ending all over again, another era in life coming to a close. I am hopeful that we will make the most of our time together and go off with a high as we all embark on the next part of our adventures. As I spoke with Keenan about it earlier, he said to me; 'Sarah, they're not dying.' That helped, I think. 

Which brings me to my next point; I will be staying Stateside! I think I had told most people, but didn't make a big public statement about it until it was sure. I have been offered a full time position over here with Delaware Youth for Christ and am so excited about staying and helping to direct this Ministry forwards. I knew the moment I landed that life was never to be the same again and am filled with joy when I think about seeing these kids grow up and watching what they become. Even though I do miss a lot about England, I know I can make a life here, at least for the foreseeable future and can't wait to see what comes of this decision. As I mentioned earlier, these past six months have had ups and downs such as yesterday, when I found my first grey hair.  But, on days like today, when one of my kids arrives at camp with his usual handful of flowers for me and greets me with; 'Hi Ms Sarah! I love you,' I don't mind how many grey hairs it gives me, this is where I am supposed to be! 

England, I'll see you in the wintertime. 

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'Can we grow Quesadillas?'

It seems that the request in my previous blog was ignored and time has not slowed down in any way. We are already in the middle of May and although it has it's advantages such as warmer weather and beautiful blooms, I can't help but begin to feel a little bit sad as I start to prepare myself for everything to change again. Though I am very much focussing on taking one day at a time, the hours pass by at an alarming rate - especially when we are doing as much as we do!

We began our gardening project a couple of weeks ago and have already managed to put up two raised beds as well as tidying the place up a little. The first bed which will house our vegetable plants hopefully by the end of this week, are now protected from the inevitable basketball that will be flying their way with wire and bamboo sticks. I've had some great conversations with the kids about the garden, (see the title of this post for my favorite question about it!) and we have joined forces with Ferris School, our JJM/Prison Ministry as they are coming here to complete Community Service. It's so great to see them gaining practical skills and they will literally see the fruit of their labour. We plan to use whatever we grow in the garden with the kids be that at a BBQ or meals in the coming months, which is where my excitement lies. We also have some lovely plants ready to go in, which I am also excited about as this place could do with some livening up! The kids are pretty scared of the bees here which to be honest, are rather huge so I am working on reassuring them they shan't be bothered by them!

We also had our Mother's Day tea which was an absolute delight! Everybody brought such wonderful food with them, as per my strict instructions so we had everything from Victoria Sponge to Cucumber Sandwiches and more tea than you could shake a stick at! Each of us from the team had a chance to share why we came to be a part of this Ministry and what it means to us to work with these kids. It was truly wonderful to see that a group of workers from all
over the world have been called together to love a group of young people who not many other people have the time of day for.

Some of our craftier kids have been working on paintings with Keenan, our American intern who is a rather gifted guy! I have loved watching them learn from him and they have worked so hard on their masterpieces. It's nice to see them so engaged in something and it makes me excited for other projects we can do in the future. Next in the pipeline is knitting so I will have to get practicing - that's not one of my gifts!

The proud (and CUTE) artists!!

One thing that has been so great for us as a team of interns is the amazing support we get from so many families that we have met. I don't mean financially, but through opening their homes, providing meals, inviting us to spend time with them, offering to take us on trips, hosting us for games nights - you name it! That has been a real blessing to us and it feels such a treat to be served as we constantly give out to the kids throughout the weeks. It's nice for us to be around different people and share our experiences and cultures too!

This weekend has been lovely and was filled with laughter and Farmers Markets which is always a good combo. I got some time with a friend to walk around Delaware City a little which is a lovely part of this State:

 I realise I can't really be seen on the floral photograph but I thought they looked so pretty and had to be documented! It sure is nice to have some good weather over here and long may it last, I say! There are lots of lovely little shops in Delaware City and we had a nice drink in a cute cafe we stumbled upon. I hope to take the ferry across to Fort Delaware soon, that looks like it would be a fun trip!

Happiness is sunshine and a cup of Earl Grey

We also took some time to walk around Brandywine Park which I will definitely be doing again, I can't believe it took me so long to get there! It is a lovely area and is so peaceful. It's strange that it's so near to this crazy street and not far from the center City but remains so tranquil and pretty...or that's what I thought until a complete stranger came up and asked me for tissue so she could 'pee' in the bush. Classy!

A week tomorrow, I will be receiving my first visitor from England which I am SO excited about! She will be coming at the perfect time as Joni goes away on his vacation but also she will be able to support me in the middle of figuring out how my future over here will look. It has been an overwhelming time for me and it will be great to have someone who knows me so well by my side to see why I love it so much here! It will also be a nice time to find a bit of rest and do some traveling during my time off as well as have TWO WEEKS OF FEMALE COMPANY which I may or may not have been missing. Though the guys are great company, we don't always want to talk about the same things!!! I am hoping to finally see some of the Amish Country and maybe even ride the steam train! My friend doesn't know that yet though. I fear she may not be as joyful about that as I am. This just adds to the 'cool' image I regularly portray to the guys. Anywho! I just managed to cook a full meal, toad in the hole with all the trimmings with our makeshift 'oven.' Though it took me 4 hours, I only blew the kitchen fuse once so I count that as a great success. If it involves gravy and Yorkshire Pudding, it can't go far wrong in my eyes.

That's it for now! 

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Rain, rain, go away.

It's just before 8am here on a cold and dreary looking Wilmington day. I can't believe it's been almost a month since my last update, I guess that is a measure of how busy this little team has been! I don't even know where to begin but I guess New York would be as good a place as any...

Back in the first weekend of this month, we wrapped up some packed lunches, filled up the van with kids and took a day trip to the Big Apple. There were 8 kids and 4 interns and as many snacks as I could fit in my borrowed backpack. We caught the Megabus which was the cheapest and easiest option and arrived in NYC after about 2h30mins of traveling. The free wifi on board helped keep our kids entertained for the most part, though of course we had some of the usual; 'Are we there yet?!' every 30 minutes or so. At one point, one of the kids turned around to tell me (and the rest of the passengers upstairs) that he needed to do a number 2 which I informed him he didn't need my permission for.

Anywho, we took to the city on foot as the subway is quite expensive so we saw a limited number of monuments. Joni was our walking leader as I am not blessed with a sense of direction. The kids started to ask after every single block we walked, 'how many blocks do we still have to walk?' to which Joni's response was 'one more block,' every single time. 

Eventually, we made it to Central park to eat lunch:

After enjoying the park for a while, we continued to walk and headed to Times Square. That place was crazy! It was so busy and there was so much to look at that it was hard to take it all in. One thing I wasn't expecting was all the people who buy their own costumes and charge you to take a picture with them. Our kids started a new game whereby they would try and take a picture with one of the characters and then run away. I didn't know about this game until we were chased by Buzz Lightyear who informed us what was going on. 

 After we split in to groups and did a bit of shopping, we grouped back together and went to find the Empire State Building and Macy's. It was really hard to get a group photo there as the sun was in the wrong place, so you will have to take my word for it! By that point, the kids were getting tired and hungry so they got some food and we decided it was time to head back to the bus.

I think the most surprising thing for me once we actually arrived in New York was that it was exactly as you see in the movies. The cabs were driving like maniacs, horns beeping constantly, packed streets, huge overwhelming buildings. It felt quite bizarre to actually be there, living in it! We also managed not to lose any kids in the busy streets so I would say it was a great success. The biggest challenge was keeping them quiet on the ride home because people use that bus to commute between Delaware and NYC. The bus driver did help us out a lot though!

The following weekend was a chance for our team to get some well earned rest and enjoy a change of scenery. We took a trip to Lewes, (pronounced Lewis) Delaware where we camped at Cape Henlopen state park. The place was beautiful, as was the weather.
It certainly felt like the best time to get a break as I didn't realise how tired I actually was. It was great to spend some time together as a group of friends instead of colleagues and I got some really good time in to go for a long walk by myself and explore a new place. On the first evening, we took a walk together to the beach. On the way, the guys had all devised a plan whilst I walked ahead of them to disappear one by one into the forest so I was left alone. The joke was on them as I decided not to look for them but instead walked to the lookout tower whereby I watched the sunset with some strangers and a nice dog. It took them a while to find me but once they arrived at the top, I had already told said strangers how they all abandoned me knowing I was 99% likely to get lost on my own. Not that they felt bad, of course.

After the sunset, we went to the beach and I did some moonlight paddling in the sea. It was a bit brisk but not unbearable. They took a ball with them as men do and were taking it in turns to see how far they could kick it into the sea in between wrestling each other in the sand. We walked back to camp after that and lit a fire and ate meat which was very pleasant. Of course, the joke of the entire weekend was the 'tent' that was provided for me which I spent about 10 minutes trying to wedge my airbed into, which I could not physically lie down in and did not sleep a wink in. That, compared to the 8 man palace that the guys slept in was simply hilarious to them and all I heard was 'Sarah, where is your tent - I can't see it!' I couldn't even sit up in it. Not that I'm ungrateful.

On the Sunday, I got up and walked into Lewes to go to the beach. Of course, what I didn't realise was there was a half marathon going on at the same time as I was trying to walk in the cycle lane so I kept getting cheered on by families and had to inform them that I was in fact just walking to have a paddle. I made it to the beach and took a nice nap and then walked a little further to explore the shops.

I saw a Union Jack outside this shop which intrigued me so I popped in. I was so glad I did because it was just like being at home!! They had everything from Birds Custard powder to Curly Wurlys. It was fun but rather expensive! I treated myself to a Fry's Turkish Delight bar and carried on my merry way.

I walked over the bridge and came to this lovely little harbor where people were fishing. It all felt very English to me which I think is why I liked it so much. It reminded me of Cornwall in a lot of ways, except from the pirates and pasties!

I found a nice book shop which I spent a while in and went in a few rather expensive clothes shops - I didn't buy anything!

This shop was lovely! I've never been in an American antique store before, I spent ages in there looking at all the pictures and baking things. They had loads of lovely quilts and cushions - I could've bought them all!

Since the weather was so nice, I had to get some ice-cream and enjoyed sitting outside eating it and doing some people watching. After that, I filled up my trusty water bottle and headed back to camp. I thought it was quite a long journey - I walked just under 8 miles that day but it was so nice to clear my head a bit! 

This picture doesn't make the weather look as nice as it was! I was rather red faced after my day in the sun and didn't spend much time around the fire that night! I arrived back at camp and caught everyone else napping after their bike ride. They woke up so I ate lunch and took a nice long cold shower and relaxed for a while. We were then joined by our boss's family which was lovely so we took another walk to the beach and then they left. 

We had a great time! And for the first time in my camping history, I didn't have to air my 'tent' out afterwards because it hadn't been rained on!!!! NO RAIN!!! Unbelievable. 

We were hosted by two lovely families for meals on Easter weekend which was wonderful. I ate so much ham that weekend but everyone knows I do love the ham! It was so nice for us to be looked after and I didn't really have to lift a finger so I found it very restful. I did get the chance to bake a cobbler for everyone which went down pretty well! We were given easter baskets too which was so lovely. I also got to watch Mary Poppins which I had been missing in my life! I am not sure why I don't own that DVD but it has been leant to me so I have watched it a few times since!

Following on from that, we had our Golf Outing which is our big annual fundraiser. The weather for that was amazing too and we were joined by nearly 100 golfers who helped to support our work. I enjoyed driving the golf cart even though my passenger was quite fearful of my corner taking because apparently those things tip over easily. I also managed to get completely lost whilst driving on my own and had to be escorted back to the correct place by a man driving a watering device. 

It was then Spring Break and the two German interns went on trips with Urban Promise; one to DC and one to Maine. I have to say, I missed their presence a LOT but remained very busy so time sort of flew. Sort of. I had a sleepover with 5 girls which was lovely because I currently spend the majority of my time in male company. It was nice to watch some girly movies, do some painting and crafty things and talk about nails. The girls made up a talent show so they all sung for me as I was the judge which was pretty funny! They did actually sleep for about 6 hours so we watched a movie in the morning and they ate Lucky Charms before helping me to tidy up. I then had a lovely night away from the Center and spent time with my boss and his family to get my energy back. 

The guys arrived home at the weekend and my heart was glad. 

Other nice things that have occurred:

This sunset in Old New Castle

This tree blossomed on our street

One of the girls brought me a flower

I baked scones and drank tea with a friend

The girls left notes for me on the board

I taught for the first time in Grace Cottage (the prison for girls) last week too, I spoke about leadership and how they can think about ways they might change their behaviour when they are released. I also made up a game of English words vs. American words which turned out to be quite a lot of fun! They said I should patent it. Maybe I will. 

I think that just about brings you all up to date! There have been other things in and amongst all of this but I have already been writing for over an hour! One thing I can't believe is that it is almost May, I would really like for time to slow down a little bit now as it seems to be running away a little. I am trying to take each day as it comes and enjoy every minute of the time we have together. I love this team, I love this place and I love these kids! 

I also love this:

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