My Happy Place.

The last time I sat here was right at the end of summer camp. I tend to find a 'happy place' wherever I go so that when I feel overwhelmed or need to process my thoughts, I can find a space that is 'my own part of nature' where I will hopefully be undisturbed for a while. My Yorkshire happy place was atop the hills where I could see the trees, valleys and sheep. My Chester happy place were the Roman Walls where I could go and watch the sunset over the city.

So here I am, in my Wilmington happy place, legs dangling off the edge of a hidden away wall at the back of Brandywine park, perhaps for the last time. I am surrounded by big, beautiful trees that are beginning to drop fall coloured leaves that are slowly drifting towards the little waterfall which will float them down through the rock filled stream towards the fishermen and cute looking Church picnic I passed on the way in.

It's hard to find peace in such a time of unrest and confusion. All the people finding out I'm headed home who are asking what changed and wishing I would stay. All the people at home asking what I will do, what's my plan? Truthfully, I don't know. I feel like one of those little leaves in a big river, one minute floating along all calm, knowing where I am and what my role is to all of a sudden hitting a big gush of water and now I'm in a new place all over again starting at a new path, with new surroundings and a different future.

source

One thing I have learnt, is that we are called to bloom where we are planted. I remember before I left, I spoke to someone about my move to the US. He said to me that a job is a job, wherever you do it. That is so true. Moving away from home to do a job doesn't automatically make it more of a success than if I'd done it in England, though I may have thought that. Of course, making the move has changed and grown me in more ways than I could've imagined and it has given me knowledge about totally different cultures as well as giving me the chance to share mine. I have pushed my self harder than ever before and for the first time, I've found my limits. I have seen that wherever I am placed or wherever I find myself, I can find something to do that will help someone else. I never had to be thousands of miles away to do that though I have absolutely no regret in this experience.

I have mentioned this in my writing before (check (you can read here) but there's a song by Brooke Fraser that says; 'now that I have seen, I am responsible.' That line challenges me constantly. Once we know there is a need within our community, even if it means pushing outside of what is comfortable but are able to, we should do it. That is a conviction upon which I am unwilling to compromise. I can do what needs to be done wherever I am sat. I am not called to be apathetic. I am called to action. I should bloom where I am planted.

'Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.’ 

What lies ahead for me is unknown, though hopefully my immediate future will involve some rest, reunions and Yorkshire Pudding. But now I see life again from a whole new perspective, knowing there is at least one constant in my life who knows the desires of my heart and knows the plans and purpose He has for me. My Faith and hope is stronger than ever before which is helping me to find joy and peace amongst the goodbyes and upheavals. I have loved my life here and was glad to call it home, even if it was just for the length of a pregnancy as someone pointed out yesterday!!

I'd best get back to enjoying my last bit of sunshine!