We're All In This Together...

Sorry to go all High School Musical on you but every time I think about this subject I get that song in my head. I had a great conversation today with a lovely lady about community. I think in society today community is something that we are losing. Young people are desperately searching for a place to belong, to be accepted and loved. Somewhere they wont be alone. Somewhere they will be listened to, where they wont be judged/prejudged and where they will be given help and advice on how to deal with their problems. Of course, isn't that what we're all searching for?

Community

My experience of University entailed being part of the most wonderful community I have ever come across. In my house, we all made sacrifices for each other. It may only have been small but one time someone would print something when I was out of ink or someone would be stood out in the cold at the train station and they would be picked up. Someone may have been out of chicken, so we joined together to cook. When one of my beloved wine glasses mysteriously disappeared and I moaned about it for the two years in which we lived together, it was eventually replaced so that I would have a set of four again, because who can use three wine glasses? When I was struggling, there was always a door to knock on where I could sit, cry, laugh, complain, offload and often people would pop into my room for the same things. When I had to shut myself away, people respected my do not disturb sign (most of the time!) People from outside of our house would always pop in on their way to somewhere, so we always had someone in the house who didn't live there. I loved that, and I truly miss it. I stopped caring that I was in my pj's at 8pm talking to a stranger in my own living room. Our house became much more than just us, it became a kind of hub that alsorts of people would join and would be a part of. They belonged there as much as we did and it was really special. Without that community, there is absolutely no way I could've passed that degree. We needed each other, and for that time we were all blessed to be placed with one another. This weekend, we are all to be reunited for the first time since we all left - I am VERY excited!

I've been watching this amazing documentary that caught my eye the other day. It's called 'The Audience' and is on Channel 4 (UK). What happens is each week, one person has a big problem that they can't solve on their own. So, they invite 50 strangers aka 'the audience' to come and assess the situation, see all sides of the problem and come to a collective decision that acts as the answer to the person's dilemma. There have been two episodes so far and I have found it fascinating. It's so interesting to see how the people make their first judgements but then as they get to know more and more about the pieces of the puzzle, their mind opens and they are able to come to a decision that they are happy with. Both of the people who had the problem had said they just couldn't make such a big decision alone and they needed the help of others to spur them on to make it. I love that. That to me, is how life should always look - that we all have a different viewpoint, a different point to make to add to the discussion but eventually all end up working together.

Teamwork

I now want to think about community in another respect. Throughout Uni, I had some great experiences of working with different people and different Churches. I learnt a lot of lessons that will stick with me for the rest of my life, as they changed me in a massive way. A lot of us fall into this 'perfectionist' trap. This idea that 'If I let someone else do this job, I'm scared it wont be as good as if I did it.' That 'only I can do this well, if I let them do it or change it, it just wont work.' If we let ourselves think like this, we become controlling over what is 'ours' and we begin to lose trust in the standards of those around us. I of course recognise that we all have different strengths and abilities, but we all have something amazing to offer. I think this links to what I've said before about being afraid of making mistakes. Of course, we need to be wise about who we delegate our work to as it would be pointless trusting someone to administrate a project if they obviously hated paperwork, but that is not my point. My point is that if we have made our jobs to be so that only we know what is going on, and in the case of leaving the job/going on holiday and nobody knows what we actually do then something is seriously wrong. I speak of this from a youth workers/ministry perspective as I have seen this all too often in Church work especially, but I think it can be applied to any role. If we, as an individual are depended upon too much then eventually the pressure will become too overwhelming and you are burnt out. It's too late. I've read so many books where people have spoken of working so hard that eventually their bodies literally just gave up on them. It reached so far beyond saving that they ended up on the sofa being unable to move so they were forced to rest. This is not ok. 

We need to begin to understand the notion of saying no. We need to stop thinking that 'if I don't do this, nobody else will' because that demonstrates a lack of trust and communication. If we don't ask people to help us, how will they know they are needed? If we don't let go, and be happy to let someone else do part of our job even if it's done to a standard that is different and not seen as 'worse' than ours then how can we ever operate as a team? If we don't trust people to get on with it and step out then how will they ever have the confidence to do it? Everybody within our community has something important to bring, and it wouldn't be the same without them.

When looking at the Church context, we are described as the body. As you can see from the picture, I included a Bible verse in this that states that though we are many parts, we are one. We are not here to be an exclusive community, but an inclusive one. Whatever your background, upbringing, current situation, job, relationship status - whatever, you are welcome to be a part of that community and you have something to give it that will better it. The more we work together, the more we will be the Church because Church has nothing to do with the building, it is the people that make it. Church is not about one person having a 'gift' or a ministry that is all about them, and we follow that individual because they are so 'anointed or blessed.' It is about what we can achieve together, as one using all of our gifts to reach a lost and hurting world. We sing lots of songs about 'coming home' which is talking about when, as Christians believe - we will return to Heaven to be with our Father. But I think walking into a Church should feel like a welcome home too. For we are to be a family, who love each other no matter what, who forgive each other, who make sacrifices for each other, who listen and help one another and who seek to put others before ourselves.

We need to understand that we might look messy, but we are messy people! God isn't asking us for perfection, He is isn't asking us to run ourselves ragged through 'serving Him and others' because we shouldn't be so worn out that we become ineffective. We need to say no, we need to rest and we need to serve others but also let others serve us when we need it. If God wants the job to be done, He will do it with or without you and he delights in you as much as if you did it yourself or if you stepped back and let someone else do it for we don't need to do things to 'earn' His love because Jesus made a way back already. I personally, would rather have fun as a team doing something with an imperfect messy outcome than work myself to the max getting stressed out to create something that constituted perfection on my own. 

Hope you have found this encouraging! 

Much Love xxx