God is not a Genie.

Well, it's been another week of lessons learnt. I guess you could say I'd put all of my eggs in one basket with the recent job I applied for and after I finally got an interview I thought I was sorted. Unfortunately, I am not. I realise that in the grand scheme of things, this is a common occurrence and I am by no means alone in this struggle but I don't think that makes it any easier. It's such a vicious circle because people don't take you on due to your 'lack of experience' (even though I do have a LOT!) thus not allowing you to gain any paid experience which in turn stops you from progressing from where you are. I think sometimes we just tell ourselves it's all ok and 'the right job will come along' but I just want to acknowledge that in situations such as these, it is OK to be upset/confused/sad. It's a very frustrating situation and if you are in the same boat - I get how you feel!!

It's one of those seasons of life that is laced with complete confusion and it's not easy to know how eager and enthusiastic you are, yet no-one is giving you the chance to express that or do anything useful with it. Then, just when you think there's an open door, you get there, and it's closed. I've just been thinking WHAT THE HECK am I supposed to do next?!

This is where my title comes in. You may have read that in my previous posts, I've been learning to be thankful, to slow down, to appreciate what I have, to be patient and to trust God's plan. I suppose I just expected that after Uni, it would all just fall into place. I didn't have a choice but to come back home again, which has of course had it's challenges and sacrifices. I know what my skills are, what I can do, my strengths and weaknesses, I know that I will work hard and commit fully to whatever I do and so I thought it was obvious that a job would just land on my lap - because why wouldn't it? But then I begin to think that maybe as Christians, we carry some sort of spiritual arrogance. This attitude of 'God will give you the perfect job.' But what about my non-Christian neighbour? Are they not allowed the perfect job? Do they just have to work any old thing and we'll just swoop in because 'God has gone before us?' Don't we have to work, to wait and to be stuck too?

I think it is stupid of us to assume that we too wont have to work hard and endure tough times. After all, it is promised in the Bible that we will share in the sufferings. (I speak to myself here as much as those of you whom are reading this.) Of course, this is one of those annoying circumstances that just feels a bit hopeless but I know and hope that it wont be like this forever. It is up to me to work hard in the meantime, whether that be networking, trawling job sites, filling in even MORE application forms, widening my search, thinking outside of the box, asking around etc. I cannot sit here and wait for God to drop my dream on my lap. I have to put the effort in for it, I'm sure - being the almighty He probably could drop it on my lap however what would I learn from that?

Would I learn to discern, (hey that rhymes) to seek help from others, to depend on Him, to figure out what I am passionate about, to make real-life big decisions, to stop worrying about the future and think about what is happening now, to hold my plans loosely, to grow through struggles? No. He knows exactly what He is doing, of that I am sure. Would we need Faith if we knew what tomorrow held? No.  But I believe that God has a higher purpose. I can imagine that at the end of this stage, I will look back and see, once again how beautiful His orchestration is. I am sure every part of this experience is building me up for something that will come at the right time, in the right place, with the right people. Though at times, being stuck has been the most frustrating and un-natural experience for me and I have hated parts of it - I cannot only expect life, and Christianity to be good.

Sometimes, cack just happens. There's no explanation for it. I know it does, I've experienced it. I've seen it in peoples lives and I've just thought 'how is it possible that this could all happen to one person?' but it just does and I have no answer for it. Gaining perspective by zooming out to see the bigger picture is the only way we can get through it! Of course, my life could be a million times worse - I've shared my burden to campaign against Human Trafficking - it's horrific and I cannot imagine what life is like for those people - it disturbs me so much that people can be treated like this - but in the here and now, this is my personal struggle and I am allowed to be sad that no-one wants to employ me. Rejection isn't a nice experience, especially when all you want to do is get stuck in with something and be given an opportunity. But, it is what it is. We are not exempt from struggles, rather we need to embrace them - because this is reality.

Romans 8:17

The Message (MSG)

^15-17 This resurrection life you received from God is not a timid, grave-tending life. It’s adventurously expectant, greeting God with a childlike “What’s next, Papa?” God’s Spirit touches our spirits and confirms who we really are. We know who he is, and we know who we are: Father and children. And we know we are going to get what’s coming to us—an unbelievable inheritance! We go through exactly what Christ goes through. If we go through the hard times with him, then we’re certainly going to go through the good times with him!

Much Love xxx

P.s. someone give me a job please.