I can't BELIEVE I finally get to write this post. It has been such a long time coming! This past year since graduating has not been without it's challenges for me. I spent the first six months after moving home searching for a job and getting nowhere fast. At my lowest, I sat and burst into tears with the lady in the benefits office who was trying to help me find work. I finally got some temp jobs, both went disastrously wrong, not because I couldn't do the job but for other reasons. I finally found a permanent role back in January which was not without it's learning curves but whilst I was on holiday last week, the company I worked for went into administration the day before everyone's pay day and 500 people lost their jobs.
My real turning point came a few months ago, after I thought I had found 'THE JOB.' I was so sure it was for me and I spent every day for about two months praying and thinking about it. When the closing date came around, I wasn't offered an interview. The shock of that sent me well and truly back to the drawing board. Sitting at square one, I thought about things like; in my dream world, what would I do? Where would I go? What do I KNOW I want to do? One thing quickly sprang to mind:
My real turning point came a few months ago, after I thought I had found 'THE JOB.' I was so sure it was for me and I spent every day for about two months praying and thinking about it. When the closing date came around, I wasn't offered an interview. The shock of that sent me well and truly back to the drawing board. Sitting at square one, I thought about things like; in my dream world, what would I do? Where would I go? What do I KNOW I want to do? One thing quickly sprang to mind:
America. The place that I had ALWAYS wanted to explore, to figure out if it was the place for me. I want to set a disclaimer here; I am under no impression that America is some kind of dream world where everything is perfect and doesn't have issues similar to the ones we have here. I cannot explain where this dream came from or why it is there, but it is! I love the place. I decided it was time to try and find a door of opportunity that would give me a chance to experience everyday life in America and decide if it is something I want to pursue long-term. Today, I can officially say I was offered that chance. I have been offered a place as a voluntary intern with an organisation called 'YFC' or Youth For Christ in Delaware. I will go out there for 6 months starting next January to do an urban youth work placement working with at-risk youths. I am still trying to process all of this and have SO much to do to prepare for it, but this is a way for me to invest in my future, to gain experience, to live in another culture, to meet new people and to go for my dream! I will be doing some fundraising to get the costs of my trip together which I am really excited about!
So many things have led me to this place, it would take me forever to explain but I can honestly say that however difficult the past few months have been for me - I wouldn't change a thing. I have dealt with a whole host of experiences that have grown and strengthened me in so many ways. I think it's fair to say that I have been fairly unlucky but that is life! I am not here to complain.
I will say that some of the things that have kept me going are these words in particular:
For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened. Matt 7:8
I wrote these words, along with some others and stuck them on the mirror attached to my bedroom door. I saw them every time I went in the room, fixed my hair, took off my make up. In those words I found hope that eventually, I would knock on the right door and it would be opened. In the times of deep confusion - I hated seeing them because I didn't want to believe them, but today, the opportunity I had asked for, sought out and knocked the door of - opened! If you are in a similar position, if you have a dream, or a place that you have always wanted to live or work in - I would encourage you to GO FOR IT! The reason I became so determined to find an opportunity was that I didn't want to wait ten years and wish I had done it, I don't want to regret! However hard and hopeless life can feel, there is always something to learn from every experience, good or bad. It is always good to have hopes and dreams, and to work hard for those!
I wrote this blog over a year ago, isn't it amazing how things work out! Who knows, maybe whilst I am in Delaware I will get to go visit that statue. Don't give up on your dreams y'all! We only have one life, don't lose yourself in your fear.
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Much Love xxx