On settling somewhere new.

Now feels like as good a time as ever to return to the blog. After what has been a somewhat tumultuous year, I am returning to my old favourite ways to rediscover my peace and writing has always been one of those. 

It is very hard to believe that it has been 1 year, 8 months, 2 weeks and 4 days (to be exact) since I moved to Northern Ireland. I had no idea what was awaiting me as I sat in my trusty old Nissan Note waiting for the ferry to pull into the dock. For a very brief moment, I looked behind me at my suitcases and then ahead of me to the sea and realised there was no going back. Thus far, I don't regret it for one second!

The first few months were hard as I readjusted as everything was new and unfamiliar. I had a long commute, a new job, new colleagues, a couple of friends scattered about the country, a new house and  housemates and a new culture to get used to. I had many a headache and felt quite exhausted! But things quickly began to feel like home as I got used to my new rhythm. My new colleagues and housemates were unfailingly kind and welcoming and I didn't feel under any external pressure to get it all right straight away, which helped immensly! 

As I look back now on what really drew me to another big move on my own - it was that I had spent many years as a sojourner - popping in and out of people's lives, being on trains and planes, sleeping in hotel rooms and saying yes to many great travel adventures, but what I was craving was stability and rootedness. I had decided this was a good time to focus on dating, in the hope that I might meet someone who I could spend my days with. I did this through online dating, which I had quietly done on and off over the years but nothing had ever really come of it. In November 2019, around 8 months after moving, I decided to give it one last shot (as online dating can be very emotionally draining) and arranged to meet a guy for a walk in my favourite local spot. 

I could tell as we were walking around Mount Stewart that something was different about this guy. I remember feeling so comfortable and safe and although I did most of the talking, that didn't seem to put him off. As the sun started to set, Tom insisted on walking me back to my car and date two was quickly arranged. Before Tom, my best date record was three dates so once we went past that, it was unchartered territory for me! I loved those early days of getting to know him and getting more relaxed around each other. I kept it fairly quiet as I was enjoying the bubble we were in but we finally had our first picture together and told everyone after 5 months of dating! 

In January 2020, I was busy preparing for the 'dream' trip I'd booked a year in advance which involved flying to Jamaica to spend a week on the beach listening to my beloved favourite Band of Brothers - Hanson. Looking back now, I was extremely lucky that this trip went ahead without a hitch as the Coronavirus pandemic was only just beginning. It was a week of pure bliss, music I love and a serious amount of laughter. This trip felt a little different as I travelled alone (as I am accustomed) but distinctly remember sitting in Philadephia airport about to board my flight to Jamaica feeling a little queezy about being so far from home. The journey back was long and storm-filled so I was very, very grateful to have my feet back on solid ground! 

 

Following the holiday, I started to look for my own apartment as I felt ready to have my own space and had more of an idea of where I'd like to settle on a more longterm basis. I came across a sweet little place (with a guest room!) and put an application in. It felt like a long wait at the time but in the end it did all happen relatively quickly. As the pandemic started to take effect, we sped up the process of me collecting the keys. I will never forget that Monday - I packed up my car and did 3 drives back and forth to get all my belongings and dragged them up the stairs single handedly. That night, Tom & I toasted to the new beginning and we turned on the news to see the PM declare the start of the first three week lockdown. There I was, about to live on my own for the first time in a new place where I didn't know anyone and had just started working from home so I'd lost the majority of the social time I had. In the end, I wasn't alone for long as I gained a new roommate in Tom, who absolutely saved the day for me. 

Many cancelled plans, unknowns, new lockdowns and changes followed so I began to look forward to the festive season as much as I could. I knew I was going to spend it in Northern Ireland and couldn't wait to decorate the apartment, which I did sometime in November. I loved getting cosied up and practising the art of 'hygge' which I'm sure I've written about before! It was a special time for Tom & I - our first full Christmas together - and it was just perfect. We also celebrated my milestone birthday this week which I have only been dreading since I turned 29. But as I pause to write this, I realised that despite feeling a bit nervous about starting a new decade, I have never been so grateful for everything I have in my whole life. Gratitude is a daily practice of mine. I took a risk when I decided to start this chapter and I could never have dreamt the way it has all worked out, especially with the world as it is right now. 

I have heard many people describe 2020 as the year they want to forget but for me, it will always be one that I will treasure. I fell in love with my new best friend who has been the biggest support for me in every way he possibly could be. I have been welcomed into his wonderful family. We were able to celebrate birthdays, our first holiday together, our first anniversary and our first holiday season. Of course, I have missed my friends and family dearly and that has been harder than I can describe - which has added to this being a year of emotional highs and lows. We do what we can now to be safe so that we can spend time together again when it is right to do so. We live in the hope that one day we can be reunited - and how special will that be! As the new year begins, I won't be doing my usual 'resolutions' or expecting too much from myself but will continue to take each day as it comes; finding the joy in the small things, being grateful for what I have, sharing what I can and enjoying the beauty of the place I now very much call home.

Love, S x

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The road to Northern Ireland.

Although I will post this after I've set sail, I currently write as a I take a break from once again packing as much as possible into various suitcases to begin the next stage. It feels exciting and daunting and a little surreal. Ever the dreamer, I have played this moment over and over in my head. Each time I visited Northern Ireland, I felt myself yearning to stay there more and more. I fell in love with the people and the natural beauty, the slower pace, the storytelling and the hospitality.

After things in my job became increasingly stressful, I knew I was faced with an opportunity. This could be it. Although my job gave me some incredible experiences doing work I loved, along with extensive travel - it meant sacrificing a regular routine and in many ways the kind of roots and connections that I craved. Of course, we can't have it all ways, and that was a good and right season in my life which taught me invaluable lessons and allowed me to grow in countless ways. But as the new year came, I knew my time there was up. I said goodbye at the very end of February and went on holiday to, you've guessed it - Northern Ireland. 

It was a perfect couple of weeks filled with rest, time to myself, walks on the beach (in the rain and hail!), trips to new places and most importantly - time spent making new friendships. It confirmed everything for me - this was going to be my new 'place.' After I booked my trip, I received an email inviting me to an interview in Belfast, which I attended the first week of the trip. I was informed that I wouldn't know the outcome for a while for various reasons and what followed was a very nervous 14 day wait. I convinced myself it was not to be (I'd had an interview elsewhere and didn't get it, along with not getting shortlisted a number of times), and was preparing to enter plan B when the phone call came to say I'd been offered the job.

So that was it! The plans were set in motion, dates decided, contracts exchanged, ferry booked, it was happening. I have been advised by many that the first few weeks will require plenty of grace for myself. Of course, it isn't just a new job but a new country, new culture, new place to live, new friends, new orientation and new routine. I haven't worked in an office for over 2.5 years and was in a very small team before and this office will be ten times larger in number! I've also never worked in a city before and haven't had to 'commute' for a long time. I'm sure it will take a while to balance into a new rhythm and that will require a lot of 'going with the flow,' which can sometimes disagree with my personality. Most of all, I want to have fun, to enjoy and embrace it all - all the unknowns, differences and newness. I'm ready for long walks on the beach, finding new coffee shops and favourite spots. Building friendships and becoming familiar with it all. 

Of course, I wouldn't be in this spot without the support, love, encouragement and generosity of my dear friends and family. Stepping back out after some time in Yorkshire never gets easier but I'm so grateful that so many people are rooting for me. I never take that for granted. This all follows a difficult year in which I really had to learn to be kind to myself, and it was a lot of hard work, risk and an ounce or two of courage to get here. I am thankful for all that I have learnt so far on my Master's course and the inspiring leaders I have already met through that. I think that's really what helped me put this plan into motion. They say it takes a village - and I believe it, I couldn't be without mine! 

Love, 

S x

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