On finding our place.

I can't believe it's coming up to four years since I moved to NI. The amount that has happened in that time, both good & bad, is impossible to quantify! Having moved around a few times, I've learnt that there are certain things I need to have in place before somewhere truly feels like "home." I'm sure this list would be different for everyone, but it dawned on me this week that I do feel like I've finally found my feet here, particularly in the village we have lived in for almost a year. 

Walking is truly one of my favourite pastimes, not only is it the best way to get to know a place, but I find it helps you notice the seasons more as you watch the colours changing. And now I have a buddy with me! I take Finn on walks as often as I can because it is so good for us both to get out for some fresh air. It's the best time for me to clear my mind & he usually falls asleep as he loves the white noise & being cosy in his pram. We went down the road one day this week & that is what inspired this post. As we set off, we saw our neighbour coming back from a dog walk & he warned me it was a bit wild by the seafront. We also waved at a fellow regular baby-walker (I think he's a grandad) who always wears a flourescent yellow jacket whilst speed-walking with his pram & goes out at a similar time to me. We saw Tom's Nana's knitting friend who likes to look out for Finn as we walk past her house most days & she regularly hears about him & we waved at one of two delivery drivers who love to chat to us when they drop parcels off. The one who I know a bit better asked me this week if & when Finn would be getting a sibling!! Once we got home, I sat & thought about how nice it is to walk around & feel like you know people in your area. For this reason, a regular walking spot is definitely something I need in "my place." 

I have a few different walks that I used to do most weekends by myself as Tom is usually working but I'm only just starting to feel brave enough to do those by myself with Finn. It's a lot to get used to all the extra things you need to take with you & I like to go out as soon as he's finished a feed because that gives me maximum time to relax & enjoy the walk & usually a coffee. Funnily enough, most of my favourite walks end up in a good coffee shop, which I'll talk about more below. But, if you're ever in the area, these are my favourites: 

Bridewell Coffee - Donaghadee // Firebox - Ballywalter // Haptik - Newtownards // Copeland Distillery - Donaghadee // Joxer - Bangor // Lekker - Greyabbey

It will be unsurprising for many who know me, but finding the right 'regular' coffee shop is an absolute must. I was recently thinking about the coffee shop back home that we spent half of our teenage years in - it was always our meeting point & we spent every Saturday in there for years, plus at some point nearly all my friends worked there, including myself. They did such a good chicken & pesto mayo sandwich that I need to recreate! Since then, I've not really had my regular spot. But I stumbled upon one recently (pictured above & below) that I went to with a visiting friend & just knew it was the one. It's pretty tiny but it has a gorgeous view, lovely coffee & locally made treats plus a nice little walk around the grounds that we can enjoy afterwards. We had a visit there yesterday & it was such a sweet little trip where Finn fell asleep so I enjoyed a hot coffee in peace.

There are lots of other things that I think make a place feel like home. I am not really one for getting 'pampered,' but I do love getting my nails done & had my favourite spot in Yorkshire that I loved going to for different treatments. I've been looking for the right place for a while & have finally found someone who is local & does my nails how I like them. She is very reasonably priced & getting my nails done is one of the only times I go out in an evening these days so it's something I want to keep up with when I can a few times a year. I just went recently & decided to go super girly with pink & a glitter top! 

I mentioned in the last post that we are busy making changes in our home to make it more functional. A few different things arrived this week so we are almost ready to start the re-arranging. We need to choose a paint colour for the only room we are painting & then we can start building the furniture. I was able to shift a lot of our other things through Marketplace which has freed up some space & then this week I plan on going to a couple of my favourite charity shops to drop off some donations. I've never used Vinted but I want to sit & put some baby clothes on there & see how that goes! We've just put down the classic foam tiles so Finn can test out tummy-time & laying on his back on there. I bought them before he was born because they were on offer (!) but the health visitor came this week & said he is definitely ready to roll (at 3 months!) so we want to give him a comfortable space to test that out. I ordered one new print with a quote that I have loved for many years & found the cutest design from Violet & Alfie via Etsy (they were all discounted!) so I am excited to find a frame for that & add it to the corner of the living room that I'm imagining will be a bit of a reading nook. 

This week has been a much better pace for me than the weeks that preceeded & I am definitely starting to feel more on top of things. I've enjoyed being back in the kitchen because I've hardly cooked lately so this week I wrote a big list & went out to do the food shop whilst Tom was at home with Finn. It feels like forever since I had a meal plan but this week I made Tom's favourite 'fruity curry,' a beef hotpot & I've put our favourite BBQ pulled chicken in the slow cooker for tonight. We've had some lovely walks but taken it easy after Finn had his 2nd vaccinations this week. I started taking vitamins again & feel like I have more energy, plus it helped me finally kick my sore throat post-Covid! Everything just feels a lot more peaceful, something which I hope will continue for as long as possible. 

Much love xx 

Read More

On settling somewhere new.

Now feels like as good a time as ever to return to the blog. After what has been a somewhat tumultuous year, I am returning to my old favourite ways to rediscover my peace and writing has always been one of those. 

It is very hard to believe that it has been 1 year, 8 months, 2 weeks and 4 days (to be exact) since I moved to Northern Ireland. I had no idea what was awaiting me as I sat in my trusty old Nissan Note waiting for the ferry to pull into the dock. For a very brief moment, I looked behind me at my suitcases and then ahead of me to the sea and realised there was no going back. Thus far, I don't regret it for one second!

The first few months were hard as I readjusted as everything was new and unfamiliar. I had a long commute, a new job, new colleagues, a couple of friends scattered about the country, a new house and  housemates and a new culture to get used to. I had many a headache and felt quite exhausted! But things quickly began to feel like home as I got used to my new rhythm. My new colleagues and housemates were unfailingly kind and welcoming and I didn't feel under any external pressure to get it all right straight away, which helped immensly! 

As I look back now on what really drew me to another big move on my own - it was that I had spent many years as a sojourner - popping in and out of people's lives, being on trains and planes, sleeping in hotel rooms and saying yes to many great travel adventures, but what I was craving was stability and rootedness. I had decided this was a good time to focus on dating, in the hope that I might meet someone who I could spend my days with. I did this through online dating, which I had quietly done on and off over the years but nothing had ever really come of it. In November 2019, around 8 months after moving, I decided to give it one last shot (as online dating can be very emotionally draining) and arranged to meet a guy for a walk in my favourite local spot. 

I could tell as we were walking around Mount Stewart that something was different about this guy. I remember feeling so comfortable and safe and although I did most of the talking, that didn't seem to put him off. As the sun started to set, Tom insisted on walking me back to my car and date two was quickly arranged. Before Tom, my best date record was three dates so once we went past that, it was unchartered territory for me! I loved those early days of getting to know him and getting more relaxed around each other. I kept it fairly quiet as I was enjoying the bubble we were in but we finally had our first picture together and told everyone after 5 months of dating! 

In January 2020, I was busy preparing for the 'dream' trip I'd booked a year in advance which involved flying to Jamaica to spend a week on the beach listening to my beloved favourite Band of Brothers - Hanson. Looking back now, I was extremely lucky that this trip went ahead without a hitch as the Coronavirus pandemic was only just beginning. It was a week of pure bliss, music I love and a serious amount of laughter. This trip felt a little different as I travelled alone (as I am accustomed) but distinctly remember sitting in Philadephia airport about to board my flight to Jamaica feeling a little queezy about being so far from home. The journey back was long and storm-filled so I was very, very grateful to have my feet back on solid ground! 

 

Following the holiday, I started to look for my own apartment as I felt ready to have my own space and had more of an idea of where I'd like to settle on a more longterm basis. I came across a sweet little place (with a guest room!) and put an application in. It felt like a long wait at the time but in the end it did all happen relatively quickly. As the pandemic started to take effect, we sped up the process of me collecting the keys. I will never forget that Monday - I packed up my car and did 3 drives back and forth to get all my belongings and dragged them up the stairs single handedly. That night, Tom & I toasted to the new beginning and we turned on the news to see the PM declare the start of the first three week lockdown. There I was, about to live on my own for the first time in a new place where I didn't know anyone and had just started working from home so I'd lost the majority of the social time I had. In the end, I wasn't alone for long as I gained a new roommate in Tom, who absolutely saved the day for me. 

Many cancelled plans, unknowns, new lockdowns and changes followed so I began to look forward to the festive season as much as I could. I knew I was going to spend it in Northern Ireland and couldn't wait to decorate the apartment, which I did sometime in November. I loved getting cosied up and practising the art of 'hygge' which I'm sure I've written about before! It was a special time for Tom & I - our first full Christmas together - and it was just perfect. We also celebrated my milestone birthday this week which I have only been dreading since I turned 29. But as I pause to write this, I realised that despite feeling a bit nervous about starting a new decade, I have never been so grateful for everything I have in my whole life. Gratitude is a daily practice of mine. I took a risk when I decided to start this chapter and I could never have dreamt the way it has all worked out, especially with the world as it is right now. 

I have heard many people describe 2020 as the year they want to forget but for me, it will always be one that I will treasure. I fell in love with my new best friend who has been the biggest support for me in every way he possibly could be. I have been welcomed into his wonderful family. We were able to celebrate birthdays, our first holiday together, our first anniversary and our first holiday season. Of course, I have missed my friends and family dearly and that has been harder than I can describe - which has added to this being a year of emotional highs and lows. We do what we can now to be safe so that we can spend time together again when it is right to do so. We live in the hope that one day we can be reunited - and how special will that be! As the new year begins, I won't be doing my usual 'resolutions' or expecting too much from myself but will continue to take each day as it comes; finding the joy in the small things, being grateful for what I have, sharing what I can and enjoying the beauty of the place I now very much call home.

Love, S x

Read More

The road to Northern Ireland.

Although I will post this after I've set sail, I currently write as a I take a break from once again packing as much as possible into various suitcases to begin the next stage. It feels exciting and daunting and a little surreal. Ever the dreamer, I have played this moment over and over in my head. Each time I visited Northern Ireland, I felt myself yearning to stay there more and more. I fell in love with the people and the natural beauty, the slower pace, the storytelling and the hospitality.

After things in my job became increasingly stressful, I knew I was faced with an opportunity. This could be it. Although my job gave me some incredible experiences doing work I loved, along with extensive travel - it meant sacrificing a regular routine and in many ways the kind of roots and connections that I craved. Of course, we can't have it all ways, and that was a good and right season in my life which taught me invaluable lessons and allowed me to grow in countless ways. But as the new year came, I knew my time there was up. I said goodbye at the very end of February and went on holiday to, you've guessed it - Northern Ireland. 

It was a perfect couple of weeks filled with rest, time to myself, walks on the beach (in the rain and hail!), trips to new places and most importantly - time spent making new friendships. It confirmed everything for me - this was going to be my new 'place.' After I booked my trip, I received an email inviting me to an interview in Belfast, which I attended the first week of the trip. I was informed that I wouldn't know the outcome for a while for various reasons and what followed was a very nervous 14 day wait. I convinced myself it was not to be (I'd had an interview elsewhere and didn't get it, along with not getting shortlisted a number of times), and was preparing to enter plan B when the phone call came to say I'd been offered the job.

So that was it! The plans were set in motion, dates decided, contracts exchanged, ferry booked, it was happening. I have been advised by many that the first few weeks will require plenty of grace for myself. Of course, it isn't just a new job but a new country, new culture, new place to live, new friends, new orientation and new routine. I haven't worked in an office for over 2.5 years and was in a very small team before and this office will be ten times larger in number! I've also never worked in a city before and haven't had to 'commute' for a long time. I'm sure it will take a while to balance into a new rhythm and that will require a lot of 'going with the flow,' which can sometimes disagree with my personality. Most of all, I want to have fun, to enjoy and embrace it all - all the unknowns, differences and newness. I'm ready for long walks on the beach, finding new coffee shops and favourite spots. Building friendships and becoming familiar with it all. 

Of course, I wouldn't be in this spot without the support, love, encouragement and generosity of my dear friends and family. Stepping back out after some time in Yorkshire never gets easier but I'm so grateful that so many people are rooting for me. I never take that for granted. This all follows a difficult year in which I really had to learn to be kind to myself, and it was a lot of hard work, risk and an ounce or two of courage to get here. I am thankful for all that I have learnt so far on my Master's course and the inspiring leaders I have already met through that. I think that's really what helped me put this plan into motion. They say it takes a village - and I believe it, I couldn't be without mine! 

Love, 

S x

Read More