On creating calm.

As we hit the anniversary of lockdown, a place many of us never imagined we would be, I have been thinking a lot about how to maintain spaces of calm to counteract the external stressors that we are still facing. For all the reading and research I've done into this topic, it almost always seems to come back to one thing: balance. The other thing it needs to be coupled with: kindness. Some days we will get it right, other days we won't and that's OK - we will never be able to completely eliminate stress, and there will always be unforseen circumstances, but we can find ways to make it more manageable. I am certainly no expert in any of this, but I wanted to share some of the practices I have been focussing on lately, and ones that I've used for many years, in order to welcome calm into my life. 

Rituals 

Bedtime

I just finished reading a nice little book I got for 

Christmas called "Seeking Slow" by Melanie Barnes. It's an easy 'nightstand' read and gave some great little tips and reminders. I had already been working on reintroducing a good nighttime routine to ensure a good nights sleep, which this book called a 'ritual.' When it's getting to about 9pm, I've started to unwind and begin my quiet time. The Yogi Tea - Classic brew has long been one of my favourite drinks so I enjoy sitting and sipping on that in an evening. I've also started using a new 'pillow mist' and eye mask for comfort and always spend some time quietly in bed where I moisturise my face and settle in for the night. I have been limiting my screen time by leaving my phone in another room (if I keep missing your calls, that's why!) so that I don't spend every evening scrolling on social media. 

Coffee

I was recently surprised with a beautiful new coffee machine and using that has become my new favourite morning ritual. I am a huge coffee lover but normally have just the one coffee a day now so I love being able to spend the time crafting a lovely drink to kick start my day. I bought a coffee grinder to go with it, so the process involves griding fresh beans, prepping the Espresso machine, brewing the coffee and steaming the milk. It's easy to make this a slow, mindful process to take in all the aromas of a freshly brewed cup of joe to start your day peacefully. I'm sure this would work for other hot drinks if you aren't a coffee lover - but the main point is to find an activity that you can bring an element of 'slowness' to.

 

Cooking & Baking

One of the plus sides of being home a LOT more has been the chance to experiment a bit more in the kitchen. I cook most of our meals from scratch and love the process of creating something that takes time to enjoy. I might not always have the time to put into creating meals that need a lot of prep so I'm trying to make the most of that chance whilst it's here. Some meals have multiple components - I found an easy 'naan bread' recipe which accompanys our curry, a really tasty flatbread recipe which serves as pizza base or cheesy garlic bread for with pasta and I think I've perfected the roast potato! 

Baking has long since been one of my favourite hobbies and it's great to have some willing taste testers around! I've tried lots of new recipes over this past year including; Mars Bar Brownies, NYC Choc Chip Cookies, Millionaires Shortbread, Chocolate Guinness Cake, Biscoff Fudge and Cinnamon Swirls. Most of those recipes are taken from Jane's Patisserie who just annouced a new recipe book which will absolutely be going in my online basket! Whilst I've been busy getting creative in the kitchen, I've found that we've spent more time together as a couple whilst Tom gets more involved in parts of it (though he might not admit that!) so I enjoy it for that, too - a sense of joint accomplishment and to be able to teach him some baking skills!

One thing I've also spent time on is looking for products that are seasonal and grown or created locally in order to support small businesses and artisans in Northern Ireland. This country is bursting with excellent produce and talented makers and I love the process of going to local markets and connecting with businesses, usually on Instagram. Most of my favourite finds come from The Farm Shop at Kylestone, of course!

Yoga Nidra & Meditation 

I first started attending Yoga Nidra sessions a few years ago in Halifax, through the wonderful Natalie at Northern Alchemy Therapies and recently began searching for online sessions again as I have really missed it. Yoga Nidra has been such a calm and relaxing experience for me and the in person sessions I went to were so cosy and peaceful. I learnt a lot from Natalie and joined an online session she did recently which was so special! I have been using online sessions from YouTube to try and find the right type and I've also added this into part of my bedtime ritual as referenced above - these meditations are great to fall asleep to as you quiet your mind and increase awareness of your body. I've also been exploring Guided Meditations through YouTube - I was recommended Tara Brach who does some great sessions. Just 15 minutes a day of this quietness can make such a huge difference. I'm no expert, but I am certainly finding it useful!

Walking & being outdoors 

This will come as no surprise to anyone who knows me or follows me on social media but for me, there is nothing quite like time spent in the outdoors! I am very lucky to live within a stones throw of some absolutely stunning walks and coastal paths and I adore exploring those areas. A sprinkle of sunshine always makes a difference! I always feel better after a walk, as if I can take on the world again. I personally never wear headphones because I enjoy taking it all in - the sounds of the sea, the wind, the birds, the people chatter. That's all part of the experience for me but it isn't for everyone. I have realised recently that I need to make time every day for this, even if it's just a short walk because I can notice that I feel different on the days I haven't been outside at all. I am so excited for the longer evenings that are coming and am really enjoying noticing the changes of the seasons with more colour bursting through. As we still can't sit indoors in cafes or restaurants, I am appreciating that the warmer days make it possible to enjoy a coffee outdoors on a bench without fear of freezing to death! 

Wild Swimming is very popular here and I did that a number of times my first year here but would love to get back into that - I did have a paddle after a lovely sunny walk last weekend but that's as brave as I was feeling! 

Calm spaces in the home 

This is the first time I've had full reign of a whole home and I have loved being able to make it a comfortable space for us both. I have always loved cosy lighting and have candles going every night along with fairy lights, night lights and lamps. I think lighting really sets the tone for the space. During the day, I usually diffuse some essential oils and though I am no expert in this either - I do think it makes a difference to feel the of the place. 

I love Tisserand and have been using these two scents a lot recently - Mind Clear and Total De-Stress. They smell so refreshing and uplifting! I have also used Bergamot, Lemon, Orange and Lavender and have mixed a few of them together. I'm not quite sold on Essential Oils being a magic cure for things, but I do think they make a difference to the living room!

The bath is absolutely my sanctuary and I have always spent a long time soaking in the bubbles. Bath products are one of my only 'splurges' because I know I will enjoy every minute spent in there. The Body Shop Berry Blend smells like actual heaven and it is by far my favourite bubble bath! I sometimes use Simple products as they have no chemicals and are better for sensitive skin and if I'm really in the mood for a pamper, I'll use a facemask and a hair mask. The Body Shop Shea Butter hair mask is my favourite - it makes my hair so soft and it smells divine. My bath tray usually features a book and a glass of wine and during the winter I regularly had candle lit baths for some extra relaxation! As I'm the only one uses the bath, it really is my little space and I love retreating there to unwind. 

The 'Seeking Slow' book I referred to earlier suggests creating such a space that is just for you and I love this idea. Even if you can sneak away there for 10 minutes, it can be your haven and it doesn't take a lot to create that. I keep some plants in the bathroom which brings a bit of nature indoors and I think that makes a difference! 

When I first moved over to NI, I decided I wanted to look after some House Plants. I like having things to take care of, so my friend and I found a local garden centre and I spent way too much money on succulents. However, they have become one of my favourite parts of my space. My 'Monstera Deliciosa' or Swiss Cheese Plant is one of my favourites, it has outgrown it's pot once and just keeps growing. It is currently sprouting two new leaves and will soon outgrow its' home again. I love having natural and seasonal things inside the house and the plants all need different environments to thrive in. My Peace Lily has been somewhat of a headache but I am determined to keep it alive! I was given a Geranium which has grown like crazy and Tom took cuttings of it to grow at the Nursery which I find oddly satisfying. I am running out of space to keep house plants, especially those that need a lot of sunlight, so I may have to go back to succulents - although many of those have outgrown their pots too! 

Recommended Reads

I listened to a Brene Brown Podcast recently - linked here (I think I've mentioned her before, but I am a HUGE fan of her work & have read all her books!) and consequently purchased 'Burnout' by Emily & Amelia Nagoski. I am only partway through, but have already picked up some really helpful tips on ways to have a daily check-in and relieve stress from your body. I can't wait to see what else I learn from it! 

A few years ago I read 'The Art of Hygge' by Meik Weiking and that's really what started me on this journey of cosiness and slower living. The book explores the Danish concept of 'Hygge' and for a while it was a bit of a buzz word, or something that people profited off, but for me it has become a way of living. I adored Meik's follow up book - "The Art of Making Memories," and would highly recommend that. I think it has just this week been republished in paperback! 

And of course, the book that sparked this post - Seeking Slow! 

I'd love to know of any ways that you are embracing this quieter life we now find ourselves in. Of course there are things we desperately miss right now but I'm trying to keep finding the positives where I can. 

Love, 

S x 

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On welcoming a new year.

I think most of us are wondering where 2020 disappeared to after how long it felt whilst we were enduring it. Of course, the New Year doesn't bring the same sense of fresh hope that it might do normally. We begin 2021 in a similar strict lockdown to what we experienced in March and that brings that same sense of anxiety, fear and confusion that we've felt throughout this pandemic. I have always loved New Years, a chance to reflect back on what has been and hope for what might be and whilst I haven't made a list of resolutions this time - I've tried to pause and think of the things that helped me during the first part of last year. 

Since I no longer had such a long commute, I did enjoy the extra evening time to spend experimenting with cooking. I think it was reading Bread & Wine by Shauna Niequist that made me see cookery as a form of poetry. When I am in the right headspace, I find cooking to be the most relaxing hobby. (Maybe because it can be so organised and you follow a list, two things my brain loves!) I loved experimenting with new recipes and finding things to try and mix it up a bit. I recognise I am only cooking for an audience of two, myself included, so that affords me a bit of luxury to see it as a fun activity rather than a chore. I took a couple of extra days off after the holidays, which I am very glad I did, as I spent some time going through cookbooks, meal planning, creating shopping lists and then today went and bought all the ingredients we would need. It feels good to start off the year with that level of preparedness, and I did manage that for some (not all!) of last year. For the next few months we will be cutting down on carbs and snacks as we were a little too kind to ourselves in that department last year. As I write this, I can smell leek and potato soup bubbling away for dinner tonight!

I have been using the Pinch of Nom cookbooks which have given me some great tips on reducing fat in recipes but not losing the flavour - some of the new meals I'll attempt in the coming weeks will be from their newest edition - Quick & Easy. I also did a lot of baking and will try to cut down on that until I find some healthier treats! I had fun experimenting with bread which I would like to continue and now only make pancakes with Soda Bread flour because they are so fluffy and good! For my baking experiments I used Jane's Patisserie and soon learnt that it is much better to use higher quality ingredients such as Belgian chocolate as everything tastes a bit richer and yummier! 

Walking was my other saving grace. Quite often I would use that time to call home or to leave voice notes for friends whilst I processed whatever was going on in my mind. Just getting outside and saying hello to people walking their dogs was usually enough to help brighten my days. Of course, I am very lucky to live so close to the sea and I regularly walked the same circuit. It's a great way to practice mindfulness and take in all the nature around you. I visit our local National Trust whenever I can get a ticket and never get tired of walking around there. My favourite time to go out is a little bit before sunset when it is quite chilly but I can watch the sun go down. 
I joined a 'talking group' at work which has been such a great space for us to be completely honest with each other, let a few tears go and encourage each other. I have been really grateful for that bit of time to just offload whatever has built up. It is so hard not to be able to do these things face to face and of course screen time is set to stay but it is much better to have it that way than not at all! In that space, I am regularly reminded to be kind to myself, to remember that I am brave, I am loved and it is OK to find this all hard. 

We did a lot of rearranging in the apartment to make it more comfortable for both of us. There was a large dining table in the living room space which had become quite a dumping ground for things I didn't really want to put away anywhere! We brought over Tom's desk and all his gaming gear but this space will double up as a working from home area for me too. I bought some new shelving which is slowly getting filled up and we re-arranged the main bedroom. Having these little tasks to do has been a nice distraction - I am very bad at sitting still, admittedly, but I love having this space to potter around in and do little jobs! I have put a list together of things that would be nice to have in the house so we can tick something off each month. This month, the treat is a new Casserole Pot which means I am definitely 30. 

My main plan for the next few weeks is of course to stay at home and to maintain our health as best we can. That being both physical and mental. Small things that have helped me along the way will stay in my routine - as well as a clean and comfortable home, long bubble baths, taking care of our many, many houseplants, consuming as much tea as is necessary and lots of calls home. Some weeks, I won't be on top of my game and I am learning to be OK with that. What things have helped you during this time? I'd love to know!


Love, S x

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On rediscovering reading.

I've always loved reading. Being a natural born introvert, it is the perfect hobby. But after I graduated University (already a scary amount of years ago!) I lost my way with it. I'd mainly binge on holiday, where I'd pick up whatever random books people had left behind in the hotel, though it was never much of any substance but it was nice to entertain my imagination for a couple of weeks all the same.

With 2017 approaching, I decided to set resolutions (as always), the main one being to read more. I discovered Goodreads - a website packed with book recommendations, reviews and ways to share your recent reads with others. It also allows you to keep track of what you've read and set yourself reading challenges. For 2017, I started out with 20 as my goal and soon doubled it.

I asked for recommendations from my Facebook friends and set about reading a couple of those and it all sort of snowballed from there. I now have a reading list as long as my arm (and it is always growing) and I've tried to challenge myself to explore different themes and genres. I really needed to branch out from my very niche theme of cowboy fiction, so to Goodreads I went!

I visit our local library on an almost weekly basis now and am so grateful that our town thought it was important enough to invest in a new library whilst many others are closing them down. It also saves me a lot of money and shelf storage! Our library has a great section on audiobooks which have now replaced country music on my driving trips!

I tend to veer towards non-fiction; memoirs are usually the ones I can never put down and I do hang out a lot in the Faith section but I've been delving back into fiction in-between some of the heavier stuff. I thought it would be fun to share some of my favourites from recent times and as always, would welcome any other choices.


1) Bob Goff - Everybody Always (non-fiction). I admire this guy so much. I was so excited to be in the US when this book was released and purposefully made myself read this slowly so I didn't devour it in an instant. His writing is pure, humble and kind. We all have a lot to learn from him. Bob sends all the profits from his first book, Love Does (also amazing) to his non-profit (of the same name) which is doing insanely courageous work.

2) Gail Honeyman - Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine (fiction). This was a debut book and it absolutely blew me away. I have never felt such a strong connection to a character before, but there was something so genuine, heart-warming and pure about Eleanor. It was a beautiful read, one which I'm sure I'll delve into again.

3) Brené Brown - Braving the Wilderness (non-fiction). Brené writes with such convincing authority. She has walked out, wrestled with and been challenged by what she shares and asks of others. Her works are thoroughly researched and I cannot stress how needed her wisdom is. I highlighted line after line and folded over nearly every corner of this book to go back to - it is gold. 

4) Jodi Picoult - Small Great Things (fiction). This was a heavy, emotional read that was focussed on some very difficult subjects. Some of the reviews for this were mixed - but it made me think and do further research, so I think that makes it a success!

5) Shauna Niequist - Present Over Perfect (non-fiction). For me, Shauna is up there in my list of heroes (along with Bob Goff) and I told approximately anyone I've met since I read this that they too, need to read it. This book led me to do a lot of re-evaluating, deciding what is important to me and what I should dedicate my time to. I adore her poetic style and the way she walks with such integrity.

If you're interested - here is my Goodreads page; it's a great community, I hope you decide to join it too!

Love, S x

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