On welcoming autumn.

We are back to my favourite time of year again...I adore the 'ber' months! Although this spring was more special than usual, I still always look forward to the autumn and winter months. I think my deepened love for it has a lot to do with the boys being born during these seasons which gave me reason to truly hibernate and to slow down (in some senses!), in way that I'd never done before. Before I moved to NI and met Tom, I was always on the go, always travelling somewhere. I don't think I would've called myself that much of a home bird. But life now is a very stark contrast to that. The early days of Finn were largely long, sleepy snuggles under blankets, with a quick walk to give us both fresh air and to help Finn's circadian rhythm. I loved those quiet, cosy days hidden away in our little bubble. Of course, Zach was then born in winter, and it although it was quite challenging to get them out on my own, I did it as often as I felt able. I think part of me longs to keep recreating that feeling of hibernation, of fairy lights, candles and blankets. Of making soups, stews and pies and all the other comforting meals to warm us up. To sit by the fire with a good book, and to enjoy precious, quiet days as a family in our safe space. 

One of the things I've been reflecting on that inevitably gains more traction this year, is how much consumerism is getting out of control. I watch a lot of YouTube commentary on social media trends and what is going on online, it is making me see how much pressure there is to buy certain things to feel like you aren't missing out. For me, this time of year isn't about 'things' as much as it is about slowing down, but all I keep seeing is 'hauls' of this and that, and people rushing out to buy as much as they possibly can to decorate their homes or update their wardrobes. I am as guilty as anyone for buying home decor (ask my long suffering husband), but the things I have are not particularly expensive, nor are they single use. I don't think there is anything wrong with wanting to make your home look and feel the way you want it to, but I can't help but think that the way things are going is very concerning. I saw a post on Facebook recently regarding a 'Gilmore Girls' themed blanket which is available in one retail chain and keeps selling out. The author said she had never watched a single episode of the show, but she had seen everyone else posting about the blanket, so she had to go and find it. I thought this was such a reflection of what social media can do. It makes you feel like you need to have certain things purely because they are going 'viral,' whether you like the item or not. I have seen other videos of back to school hauls where young people are showing off their new clothes and accessories after spending $1,000s, making it look like this is normal. I have seen commentary videos of 'pack my Stanley cup for a walk,' where when they break down the cost of all the accessories (for a cup..!), it adds up to $100s. People are constantly trying to sell you something, without making it look like they are, and it really worries me that so many children are seeing this type of stuff and then asking for it. So much of it is so unnecessary and is just throwaway - it doesn't add any value or meaning to anyone's life. I know that as soon as Christmas has been and gone, the internet will be awash with 'Christmas Hauls' that people will then compare themselves to. I find it bizarre that people are making so much money from creating content about absolute nonsense, but you can see how quickly it spreads and new trends emerge. 

I think you can also see such a decline in individuality, because everybody is seeking the same things to be a part of this 'viral' crowd. People are afraid to say they don't like things, or to have their own individual tastes, because then they aren't part of the movement. I saw a video recently of a Mum who bought her daughter an off-brand Stanley cup and everyone picked on her because it was fake, so she came home heartbroken begging for the real $60 version. Things are just going so far off track for what life is all about, and I want to protect our boys from this for as long as possible. I want this time of year especially to be about celebrating together, enjoying nature, giving and receiving thoughtful gifts, making yummy food together, reading good books, doing some crafts, snuggling up under blankets, warming up by the fire, watching movies and drinking hot chocolate. The simple things that create good memories. 

I wrote last time about how I'd been daydreaming of running my own book club, and I can now share that this dream is becoming a reality next month! I have been a member of my online 'Chapter' for almost a year, and they are now starting a new club in my area which I will be the host of. I am very excited to get going, and hope we can meet lots of new people and create a lovely bookish community. I have absolutely loved rediscovering my love of reading, and have now read 41 books to date this year. I love how much it helps my imagination, and allows me to escape to different worlds, new places, and to get to know new characters. My book club has been a special place for me to connect with people and make new friends, to share recommendations and to reflect on what we've read, as well as encouraging me to read things I wouldn't have chosen for myself. Hobbies are such a great way to meet like-minded people, and I'm so thankful that I decided to take the plunge, because it has now given me such an exciting opportunity for my own club, with all the support behind me. I set up my own Instagram page (more commonly known as Bookstagram!) which has been a fun creative outlet for me, and it has connected me with some wonderful people, including authors and publishers, and it feels like such a wholesome corner of the internet. I want to learn a bit more about social media and to create some good content that people enjoy looking at. 

This blog post is perhaps a little different to what I've written the last while, but I have been reflecting a lot on how I spend my time, and what is important to me. It is a very tiring stage of life, so our downtime is very precious, and I don't want to spend it consuming content that makes me feel like more 'stuff' would fix everything. You don't need a bunch of things to make the most of any season, just the things that mean the most to you. Watching the boys play every day has made me realise how little 'stuff' they really need, and how much they enjoy just having the freedom to explore. We live a pretty humble life; I still buy most of my clothes from Vinted, I trawl charity shops and often get very lucky with local groups offering free toys, I get books 2nd hand or use ebooks, and the main hobby Tom enjoys is gaming, so we allow ourselves treats relating to those, but otherwise we just get by and enjoy family days out as often as we can. My aim is always to be content with what we have, trying not to get caught up in the comparison trap, knowing how blessed we are to have everything we need. 

As we enter this time of year, I hope we can all slow down and reflect on the beauty all around us, knowing we don't really need much to make life feel special. Sometimes, the most exciting thing that can happen in your day is seeing some ducks....

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On starting a New Year.

I have always been a big fan of New Year's. It always feels like a great excuse to start afresh, leave some things behind and look toward the future. Last year taught me so much personally. It pushed me harder than ever before, and forced me to really consider my own mental health and to listen to my body when it was telling me I needed to make some changes. I am so glad I reached out for help, and found ways to help myself cope with higher levels of stress. Towards the end of the year, I came across a job opportunity quite by accident and thought I should apply. A few days later I was invited to an interview, and then a 2nd interview. After a slightly anxious wait over the days that followed, I was offered the position and had to hand in my notice. It was a huge decision for me; I loved the team in my previous role and they had been so flexible with me during all the family changes and the sickness period we had from November onwards. Starting a new role has been daunting and quite intensive as we've had several meetings, and met up for a full day of training last week to try and understand the programme as it is a brand new team for a new youth project. My head has been spinning slightly, and it did trigger a migraine which thankfully happened in an evening and Tom was home so I could just go to bed! Things will settle down now as I start to do tasks and wrap my head around the role, but I am very grateful to have found something that is equally flexible and I know they understand the implications of having small children around! This is going to be a great fresh start for us, and it should hopefully see us through until at least Finn starts school, which is something I can't begin to think about right now!! 

Work trip to Belfast

We started off this year by getting the house back into order. I realise now that the weeks of sickness we endured between us led us to neglect some of our space, especially our bedroom, as we just didn't have the surplus energy to stay on top of things. We spent a whole day (in-between naps for the boys!) getting organised, setting up my desk space and putting things away. I felt ready to put away the Christmas decorations and just have some space back. I've worked hard all week to stay on top of everything instead of letting things pile up, and it has helped make our home feel much more peaceful. This weekend we did even more organising; I had to sort through all the boys clothes and moved Zach up to the next size which means we have a huge bag of donations and I listed a bunch of stuff on Vinted. I also went through my books and have sold a box of those through a re-selling scheme (I buy most of my books 2nd hand). This year I really want to simplify, so my plan is to tackle one room at a time and see what things we can sort through and find things we might not need anymore. 

For the past few months I've been watching a lot of YouTube content that is looking at the massive overconsumption that is all over social media, and it has really caused me to reflect on the ways I can be so easily influenced by things I see online. I have known for a while that having breaks from scrolling also takes me away from tempation of seeing things that people have bought or are trying to sell. I can see how much the 'trends' and 'viral' products are especially influencing young girls, and how expensive a lot of the products are, but they feel the pressure to want to be part of that. I think things like elaborate skincare routines are especially dangerous for younger people because their skin doesn't need it, and I worry about the long-term effects of that. A lot of the content that's pushed to me is around 'shopping hauls,' 'restocks,' 'make-up hauls,' and 'home decor,' all of which make you feel the need for more. Now that I am reading a lot more frequently, I find new content of 'book hauls,' and recommendations which can also lead me to grab another book to add to my 'to be read' pile.

A part of simplifying is also looking at what I spend my money on, and really focussing on what is necessary. That for me means doing what I can to escape that kind of content that can leave you feeling inadquate, or that fuels the desire for more. Having used skincare and make-up for many years now, I know the things that work for me and I want to stick to using those rather than being pushed to try something new. I have very sensitive skin (as do the boys), so I have found products that don't irriate me and I am going to stick to those. For Christmas I received a range of Aveeno oat skincare products and a set of Tropic skincare. Both of those ranges have been so good for my skin, so those will be repeat purchases. Other ranges that work well for me are Weleda, Simple and The Body Shop - I use those mainly for bath and shower products as they are all kind to my skin. I love Body Shop products for my hair as well, but I've ended up sharing a lot of that with Tom as it's also good for his beard! My plan is to use up what I have and don't try anything new because I don't need it.

I have always been a person who values experiences more than 'things,' so we have thought about some of the experiences we'd like to have this year, and want to put our resources into those things instead of bringing more toys and such into the house. We have a pot set aside for trips to the local soft play, and we gratefully received annual passes for the aquarium again which means we can go there as often as we'd like. Tom and I would like to go to a few more Belfast Giants (Ice hockey) games, and I'm sure there will be plenty of other local events cropping up throughout the year. To me, the times we spent together having fun and making memories are way more important than having fancy stuff, so that is going to my focus this year, as well as adding whatever we can to savings. 

Coming up in 2025

This week I joined an online session as part of my book club which was a chance to make a 'vision board.' I can't remember if I've made one before, but I found it so helpful to think about the year ahead and what I wanted it to look like. The words and scenes I was drawn to were things like comfort, peace, and cosy, and a lot of what I pictured was centred around being at home. It helped me see that I want to really embrace being home and creating a peaceful atmosphere within it. I want to enjoy slow days, especially at the weekend, where we can spent time together outdoors at parks, the beach or our favourite nature spots and come home to make a nice roast dinner and curl up with a book. I am going to join an in-person book club too which I am looking forward to and I really want to stick to that commitment, as it is so hard to meet new people at this stage in life, but I think it would be so good for me - especially if I know we have a common interest at the outset. I'd also like to start a simple book journal which will allow me to track what I've read and what my thoughts were - the beauty of book clubs is that they boraden your horizons and get you to read things you might not naturally choose. This year I want to read 40 books - last year I managed 25 which I was quite pleased with! 

Soon we will celebrate Zach's first birthday, which is actually making me feel very emotional...I can't believe my baby bear is almost a year old. He is just the most wonderful, loving, laid-back boy and he has brought so much joy to our life. I am excited to have a special party at home for him, and I've gathered most of the decorations for the theme which I will share after! We decided to get him a special teddy and some nice little outfits, but otherwise we will probably focus on saving money for future outings as I mentioned above. 

Then what follows is the biggest event of the year...our wedding is very fast approaching! Most of the planning is done, but there are a few things I want to focus on over the coming weeks. Next week we have time set aside for planning, and Tom has a plan for going suit shopping. I know everything will come together and we still have plenty of time, but every now and then I have a moment of panic about it in case I've forgotten something major! We have decided on where we want to go for our honeymoon and we just need to lock-in the dates. It will be simple and quiet which is just what we want. We can't wait to have everyone gathered with us and to celebrate together. I'm excited for the boys to finally meet everyone from England, and to see them in little suits! 

For now, I want to make our meal plan for the week and then begin my 2nd book of the year which is 'Moon Sister' by Lucinda Riley. The Seven Sisters has been the best series I've read, it is just brilliant and I can't wait to get stuck into the next one! 

Love, Sarah x

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On trying to overcome burnout.

I have tried to sit down and start this post so many times, but we currently find ourselves knee deep in a sleep regression stage. It's a new phenomenon for us, as the first time around we never really experienced it. Currently, we are several weeks into regularly being woken up around 2-3 times per night, and the tiredness is definitely taking its' toll on us. I find that a lot of people will say that they're only little for so long, or we will miss this phase, and surely we will miss parts of it - but when you are trying to juggle everything like work, housework, finding your own downtime, making time for yourselves as a family and as a couple, with a sprinkling of pure exhaustion, it feels like a very difficult slog. I know we are not the only ones trying to cope with this, several friends have noted the same right now and we are trying to share advice and encouragement where we can. I'm also part of an online parenting group that is filled with regular posts from desperate parents who feel like they've tried everything and they're at their wits end. In many cases, I think it's just a phase we have to battle through and do our best to keep smiling when we can. I'm very lucky that Tom always encourages me to rest first because he knows I do the bulk of the childcare and I do think the exhaustion hits women differently. We are trying hard to give each other grace and let some things wait for a while, because what we both need right now is rest whenever we can get it. 

In the midst of my plight, and trying to prevent reaching a stage of total burnout, I rediscovered someone who I used to follow and take inspiration from that I somehow forgot about, and she recently posted something that really helped me to take a pause and reflect on what I need to do to help myself get through this rough patch. She (Emily P. Freeman) asked the question; "what is saving your life right now?" that she took from another author, and then shared the things that were helping her overcome burnout. I thought this was a really helpful exercise, and I wanted to share mine, in case it encourages anyone else to think and reflect on it. 
1. ReadingI have always been a reader. I love stories and finding escapism that way. I've noticed I go through phases of reading new books back to back and then taking a break, as sometimes I feel a bit too frazzled to concentrate on a book and would watch movies (or trash TV!) instead. I've also found a few interesting creators on YouTube that I enjoy learning from, so sometimes I use my bits of downtime watching that. But presently, books are my solace. I am partway through my 18th book of the year, which I'm quite pleased with given that for the first few months of the year I was adjusting to full time parenting a 1 year old and a newborn, and certainly didn't have much time to sit still for any length of time. It's really helping me to switch off in an evening and enjoy a different world for a while. I absolutely love memoirs and always race through those, so I'm currently challenging myself to read some different genres to stretch me a bit. I am going to start book 3 of the Seven Sisters Series soon, which is a series I have thoroughly enjoyed so far. The stories are a great mix of taking you to different cultures and time periods, and I'm so intrigued to see where it's all leading to. My reading journey has also taken me back to visiting the library more regularly, and searching for 2nd hand books, as it can be an expensive hobby! My favourite way to get lost in a book is by the fire, snuggled on the sofa, with Classic FM playing the background.

2. Getting cosy For me, setting a cosy atmosphere at home is so important. I have candles, fairy lights, and blankets out year round. But the last couple of weeks we have also been lighting our fire, which just brings another dimension of cosiness (or hygge, my favourite discovery in recent years). I love sitting on the floor, listening to the crackling and basking in the heat. I love the smell of my favourite wax melts filling the room. As per my previous post, I am an autumn/winter person. I love the colours, the changes in nature and returning home after a blustery walk to warm up again. I think there is so much magic this time of year, and embracing it has really made a positive difference for me. Sometimes I actually feel a bit excited to see it's getting dark outside so I can close the blinds and turn the lamps on! One thing I also do some nights to help me sleep is listen to Yoga Nidra podcasts or meditations. They work really well for me, and usually allow me to clear my mind and drift off if I find my brain is still very busy. 

3. Walking/Visiting parks It is clear that although the three men in my life are all total home birds, they all also enjoy getting out and exploring nature. Any day the weather isn't too bad, I try my best to get us all out for a run about. Finn absolutely loves a park, and we are very lucky to have so many brilliant ones so close by. I was thinking the other day that we probably could do a different one each day of the week! It's wonderful to live in a place that really values creating spaces for children to learn and have fun - a lot of them have different musical instruments and interactive activities that focus on the weather, animals and lots of other things. There are pirate ships and beach huts, swings and slides, castles and bridges and everything in between! I have to say, watching Finn run so happily with total abandon is a view I will always treasure, and it is sure to brighten up any day. Walking has always been a saviour of mine, and although I don't go on my own very much anymore, it's great for getting Zach to sleep which inturn gives me chance to slow down and process. 

4. Cooking/bakingI adore being in the kitchen. It's one of my happy places. I love trying new recipes and making yummy, wholesome food for us all. Each week I do my meal plan which helps keep everything organised, and I do our grocery shop based around that. This month I'm trying to stretch things a bit further by welcoming back soups and stews (a staple on the Emerald Isle!), and bringing back easy things like Mac and cheese that just feel comforting on dark nights. Finn is certainly embracing new foods, so I'm glad to see him enjoying my food too, and Zach is well into the weaning journey and is hungry the majority of the time! Baking is probably my favourite hobby, again, I relish trying new bakes and pushing my skills a bit. For the last few months I committed to baking at least once a week, which I have stuck to. There have been no complaints about this venture so far! I recently made a caramel-apple crumble which was autumn in a bowl. Making something from scratch is just such a satisfying activity, and it always brings me back to me. 

5. Coffee ShopsTo anyone who knows me, this is an obvious one. Coffee shops are my favourite places, the spots I always go to if I am in need of quiet time. I love taking my laptop and working in one, reading books or going through my favourite magazine (The Simple Things). Again, we are very lucky to have so many good ones locally that are stocked with the most amazing treats and delicious coffee. I love being able to people watch and see the ebb and flow in the background whilst I look up from whatever I'm doing. Even if I can just sit for a few hours a week in one of my favourite coffee spots, I know it helps me so much! I'd add to this that every evening I sit and enjoy a cup of my favourite tea, Yogi Tea Classic blend, which not only soothes my soul as I (hopefully!) get the chance to wind down for a couple of hours, but it also provides a tiny piece of wisdom that I'll conclude with. 

I think because the last couple of months have stretched and challenged us in new ways whilst we try to regain balance, and figure out what we need for ourselves individually to function better, I have regained focus about the things that are truly important to us collectively and how I want to split my own time. Whilst I would love to get out more and catch up with friends, travel, commit to a weekly group, and probably several other things, it just isn't the time right now. This is where my tea-bag wisdom comes in: 

I read this a while ago and think of it often. Sometimes I get so caught up thinking about the things I 'should' or 'could' be doing, that I add pointless extra to pressure to myself. Since reading this quote, I've been working really hard to figure out what 'noise' I can remove so as to increase my enjoyment of the present moment. I know the boys are so happy in their own surroundings, so instead of busting myself to get us to groups and classes, I know they love visiting the park, so that's a better use of our time. We didn't do any extravagant activities like expensive pumpkin patches because I know we wouldn't get much out of it, so we opted for a really simple one we could walk to and loved it! We are keeping our weekends much simpler, opting for slower days wherever we can and taking help if it is offered so that we can recoup a bit. I am working on my high expectations for myself, and reminding myself that I am doing the very best I can, and it's ok that I am finding it hard right now. I'm learning that my capacity is a little lower than usual, but it will come back eventually. I'm prioritising rest, and working on communicating about the things I'm finding challenging, and I've realised that sometimes I don't want or need advice, I just want to be listened to. I think the crux of it is: I need to let myself off the hook. 
P.s. today we had a slow day, which encompassed most of my favourite things; a long walk as a family (and watching Finn run and explore nature), a visit to a 2nd hand book fair, an afternoon in the kitchen making Tom's favourite chicken curry, followed by a first attempt at oreo truffles. Now, it's ending with a hot chocolate by the fire in my cosy blanket with my current book. I hope this week you can find time to enjoy some of the things that are saving your life xo

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On creating calm.

As we hit the anniversary of lockdown, a place many of us never imagined we would be, I have been thinking a lot about how to maintain spaces of calm to counteract the external stressors that we are still facing. For all the reading and research I've done into this topic, it almost always seems to come back to one thing: balance. The other thing it needs to be coupled with: kindness. Some days we will get it right, other days we won't and that's OK - we will never be able to completely eliminate stress, and there will always be unforseen circumstances, but we can find ways to make it more manageable. I am certainly no expert in any of this, but I wanted to share some of the practices I have been focussing on lately, and ones that I've used for many years, in order to welcome calm into my life. 

Rituals 

Bedtime

I just finished reading a nice little book I got for 

Christmas called "Seeking Slow" by Melanie Barnes. It's an easy 'nightstand' read and gave some great little tips and reminders. I had already been working on reintroducing a good nighttime routine to ensure a good nights sleep, which this book called a 'ritual.' When it's getting to about 9pm, I've started to unwind and begin my quiet time. The Yogi Tea - Classic brew has long been one of my favourite drinks so I enjoy sitting and sipping on that in an evening. I've also started using a new 'pillow mist' and eye mask for comfort and always spend some time quietly in bed where I moisturise my face and settle in for the night. I have been limiting my screen time by leaving my phone in another room (if I keep missing your calls, that's why!) so that I don't spend every evening scrolling on social media. 

Coffee

I was recently surprised with a beautiful new coffee machine and using that has become my new favourite morning ritual. I am a huge coffee lover but normally have just the one coffee a day now so I love being able to spend the time crafting a lovely drink to kick start my day. I bought a coffee grinder to go with it, so the process involves griding fresh beans, prepping the Espresso machine, brewing the coffee and steaming the milk. It's easy to make this a slow, mindful process to take in all the aromas of a freshly brewed cup of joe to start your day peacefully. I'm sure this would work for other hot drinks if you aren't a coffee lover - but the main point is to find an activity that you can bring an element of 'slowness' to.

 

Cooking & Baking

One of the plus sides of being home a LOT more has been the chance to experiment a bit more in the kitchen. I cook most of our meals from scratch and love the process of creating something that takes time to enjoy. I might not always have the time to put into creating meals that need a lot of prep so I'm trying to make the most of that chance whilst it's here. Some meals have multiple components - I found an easy 'naan bread' recipe which accompanys our curry, a really tasty flatbread recipe which serves as pizza base or cheesy garlic bread for with pasta and I think I've perfected the roast potato! 

Baking has long since been one of my favourite hobbies and it's great to have some willing taste testers around! I've tried lots of new recipes over this past year including; Mars Bar Brownies, NYC Choc Chip Cookies, Millionaires Shortbread, Chocolate Guinness Cake, Biscoff Fudge and Cinnamon Swirls. Most of those recipes are taken from Jane's Patisserie who just annouced a new recipe book which will absolutely be going in my online basket! Whilst I've been busy getting creative in the kitchen, I've found that we've spent more time together as a couple whilst Tom gets more involved in parts of it (though he might not admit that!) so I enjoy it for that, too - a sense of joint accomplishment and to be able to teach him some baking skills!

One thing I've also spent time on is looking for products that are seasonal and grown or created locally in order to support small businesses and artisans in Northern Ireland. This country is bursting with excellent produce and talented makers and I love the process of going to local markets and connecting with businesses, usually on Instagram. Most of my favourite finds come from The Farm Shop at Kylestone, of course!

Yoga Nidra & Meditation 

I first started attending Yoga Nidra sessions a few years ago in Halifax, through the wonderful Natalie at Northern Alchemy Therapies and recently began searching for online sessions again as I have really missed it. Yoga Nidra has been such a calm and relaxing experience for me and the in person sessions I went to were so cosy and peaceful. I learnt a lot from Natalie and joined an online session she did recently which was so special! I have been using online sessions from YouTube to try and find the right type and I've also added this into part of my bedtime ritual as referenced above - these meditations are great to fall asleep to as you quiet your mind and increase awareness of your body. I've also been exploring Guided Meditations through YouTube - I was recommended Tara Brach who does some great sessions. Just 15 minutes a day of this quietness can make such a huge difference. I'm no expert, but I am certainly finding it useful!

Walking & being outdoors 

This will come as no surprise to anyone who knows me or follows me on social media but for me, there is nothing quite like time spent in the outdoors! I am very lucky to live within a stones throw of some absolutely stunning walks and coastal paths and I adore exploring those areas. A sprinkle of sunshine always makes a difference! I always feel better after a walk, as if I can take on the world again. I personally never wear headphones because I enjoy taking it all in - the sounds of the sea, the wind, the birds, the people chatter. That's all part of the experience for me but it isn't for everyone. I have realised recently that I need to make time every day for this, even if it's just a short walk because I can notice that I feel different on the days I haven't been outside at all. I am so excited for the longer evenings that are coming and am really enjoying noticing the changes of the seasons with more colour bursting through. As we still can't sit indoors in cafes or restaurants, I am appreciating that the warmer days make it possible to enjoy a coffee outdoors on a bench without fear of freezing to death! 

Wild Swimming is very popular here and I did that a number of times my first year here but would love to get back into that - I did have a paddle after a lovely sunny walk last weekend but that's as brave as I was feeling! 

Calm spaces in the home 

This is the first time I've had full reign of a whole home and I have loved being able to make it a comfortable space for us both. I have always loved cosy lighting and have candles going every night along with fairy lights, night lights and lamps. I think lighting really sets the tone for the space. During the day, I usually diffuse some essential oils and though I am no expert in this either - I do think it makes a difference to feel the of the place. 

I love Tisserand and have been using these two scents a lot recently - Mind Clear and Total De-Stress. They smell so refreshing and uplifting! I have also used Bergamot, Lemon, Orange and Lavender and have mixed a few of them together. I'm not quite sold on Essential Oils being a magic cure for things, but I do think they make a difference to the living room!

The bath is absolutely my sanctuary and I have always spent a long time soaking in the bubbles. Bath products are one of my only 'splurges' because I know I will enjoy every minute spent in there. The Body Shop Berry Blend smells like actual heaven and it is by far my favourite bubble bath! I sometimes use Simple products as they have no chemicals and are better for sensitive skin and if I'm really in the mood for a pamper, I'll use a facemask and a hair mask. The Body Shop Shea Butter hair mask is my favourite - it makes my hair so soft and it smells divine. My bath tray usually features a book and a glass of wine and during the winter I regularly had candle lit baths for some extra relaxation! As I'm the only one uses the bath, it really is my little space and I love retreating there to unwind. 

The 'Seeking Slow' book I referred to earlier suggests creating such a space that is just for you and I love this idea. Even if you can sneak away there for 10 minutes, it can be your haven and it doesn't take a lot to create that. I keep some plants in the bathroom which brings a bit of nature indoors and I think that makes a difference! 

When I first moved over to NI, I decided I wanted to look after some House Plants. I like having things to take care of, so my friend and I found a local garden centre and I spent way too much money on succulents. However, they have become one of my favourite parts of my space. My 'Monstera Deliciosa' or Swiss Cheese Plant is one of my favourites, it has outgrown it's pot once and just keeps growing. It is currently sprouting two new leaves and will soon outgrow its' home again. I love having natural and seasonal things inside the house and the plants all need different environments to thrive in. My Peace Lily has been somewhat of a headache but I am determined to keep it alive! I was given a Geranium which has grown like crazy and Tom took cuttings of it to grow at the Nursery which I find oddly satisfying. I am running out of space to keep house plants, especially those that need a lot of sunlight, so I may have to go back to succulents - although many of those have outgrown their pots too! 

Recommended Reads

I listened to a Brene Brown Podcast recently - linked here (I think I've mentioned her before, but I am a HUGE fan of her work & have read all her books!) and consequently purchased 'Burnout' by Emily & Amelia Nagoski. I am only partway through, but have already picked up some really helpful tips on ways to have a daily check-in and relieve stress from your body. I can't wait to see what else I learn from it! 

A few years ago I read 'The Art of Hygge' by Meik Weiking and that's really what started me on this journey of cosiness and slower living. The book explores the Danish concept of 'Hygge' and for a while it was a bit of a buzz word, or something that people profited off, but for me it has become a way of living. I adored Meik's follow up book - "The Art of Making Memories," and would highly recommend that. I think it has just this week been republished in paperback! 

And of course, the book that sparked this post - Seeking Slow! 

I'd love to know of any ways that you are embracing this quieter life we now find ourselves in. Of course there are things we desperately miss right now but I'm trying to keep finding the positives where I can. 

Love, 

S x 

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On welcoming a new year.

I think most of us are wondering where 2020 disappeared to after how long it felt whilst we were enduring it. Of course, the New Year doesn't bring the same sense of fresh hope that it might do normally. We begin 2021 in a similar strict lockdown to what we experienced in March and that brings that same sense of anxiety, fear and confusion that we've felt throughout this pandemic. I have always loved New Years, a chance to reflect back on what has been and hope for what might be and whilst I haven't made a list of resolutions this time - I've tried to pause and think of the things that helped me during the first part of last year. 

Since I no longer had such a long commute, I did enjoy the extra evening time to spend experimenting with cooking. I think it was reading Bread & Wine by Shauna Niequist that made me see cookery as a form of poetry. When I am in the right headspace, I find cooking to be the most relaxing hobby. (Maybe because it can be so organised and you follow a list, two things my brain loves!) I loved experimenting with new recipes and finding things to try and mix it up a bit. I recognise I am only cooking for an audience of two, myself included, so that affords me a bit of luxury to see it as a fun activity rather than a chore. I took a couple of extra days off after the holidays, which I am very glad I did, as I spent some time going through cookbooks, meal planning, creating shopping lists and then today went and bought all the ingredients we would need. It feels good to start off the year with that level of preparedness, and I did manage that for some (not all!) of last year. For the next few months we will be cutting down on carbs and snacks as we were a little too kind to ourselves in that department last year. As I write this, I can smell leek and potato soup bubbling away for dinner tonight!

I have been using the Pinch of Nom cookbooks which have given me some great tips on reducing fat in recipes but not losing the flavour - some of the new meals I'll attempt in the coming weeks will be from their newest edition - Quick & Easy. I also did a lot of baking and will try to cut down on that until I find some healthier treats! I had fun experimenting with bread which I would like to continue and now only make pancakes with Soda Bread flour because they are so fluffy and good! For my baking experiments I used Jane's Patisserie and soon learnt that it is much better to use higher quality ingredients such as Belgian chocolate as everything tastes a bit richer and yummier! 

Walking was my other saving grace. Quite often I would use that time to call home or to leave voice notes for friends whilst I processed whatever was going on in my mind. Just getting outside and saying hello to people walking their dogs was usually enough to help brighten my days. Of course, I am very lucky to live so close to the sea and I regularly walked the same circuit. It's a great way to practice mindfulness and take in all the nature around you. I visit our local National Trust whenever I can get a ticket and never get tired of walking around there. My favourite time to go out is a little bit before sunset when it is quite chilly but I can watch the sun go down. 
I joined a 'talking group' at work which has been such a great space for us to be completely honest with each other, let a few tears go and encourage each other. I have been really grateful for that bit of time to just offload whatever has built up. It is so hard not to be able to do these things face to face and of course screen time is set to stay but it is much better to have it that way than not at all! In that space, I am regularly reminded to be kind to myself, to remember that I am brave, I am loved and it is OK to find this all hard. 

We did a lot of rearranging in the apartment to make it more comfortable for both of us. There was a large dining table in the living room space which had become quite a dumping ground for things I didn't really want to put away anywhere! We brought over Tom's desk and all his gaming gear but this space will double up as a working from home area for me too. I bought some new shelving which is slowly getting filled up and we re-arranged the main bedroom. Having these little tasks to do has been a nice distraction - I am very bad at sitting still, admittedly, but I love having this space to potter around in and do little jobs! I have put a list together of things that would be nice to have in the house so we can tick something off each month. This month, the treat is a new Casserole Pot which means I am definitely 30. 

My main plan for the next few weeks is of course to stay at home and to maintain our health as best we can. That being both physical and mental. Small things that have helped me along the way will stay in my routine - as well as a clean and comfortable home, long bubble baths, taking care of our many, many houseplants, consuming as much tea as is necessary and lots of calls home. Some weeks, I won't be on top of my game and I am learning to be OK with that. What things have helped you during this time? I'd love to know!


Love, S x

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On rediscovering reading.

I've always loved reading. Being a natural born introvert, it is the perfect hobby. But after I graduated University (already a scary amount of years ago!) I lost my way with it. I'd mainly binge on holiday, where I'd pick up whatever random books people had left behind in the hotel, though it was never much of any substance but it was nice to entertain my imagination for a couple of weeks all the same.

With 2017 approaching, I decided to set resolutions (as always), the main one being to read more. I discovered Goodreads - a website packed with book recommendations, reviews and ways to share your recent reads with others. It also allows you to keep track of what you've read and set yourself reading challenges. For 2017, I started out with 20 as my goal and soon doubled it.

I asked for recommendations from my Facebook friends and set about reading a couple of those and it all sort of snowballed from there. I now have a reading list as long as my arm (and it is always growing) and I've tried to challenge myself to explore different themes and genres. I really needed to branch out from my very niche theme of cowboy fiction, so to Goodreads I went!

I visit our local library on an almost weekly basis now and am so grateful that our town thought it was important enough to invest in a new library whilst many others are closing them down. It also saves me a lot of money and shelf storage! Our library has a great section on audiobooks which have now replaced country music on my driving trips!

I tend to veer towards non-fiction; memoirs are usually the ones I can never put down and I do hang out a lot in the Faith section but I've been delving back into fiction in-between some of the heavier stuff. I thought it would be fun to share some of my favourites from recent times and as always, would welcome any other choices.


1) Bob Goff - Everybody Always (non-fiction). I admire this guy so much. I was so excited to be in the US when this book was released and purposefully made myself read this slowly so I didn't devour it in an instant. His writing is pure, humble and kind. We all have a lot to learn from him. Bob sends all the profits from his first book, Love Does (also amazing) to his non-profit (of the same name) which is doing insanely courageous work.

2) Gail Honeyman - Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine (fiction). This was a debut book and it absolutely blew me away. I have never felt such a strong connection to a character before, but there was something so genuine, heart-warming and pure about Eleanor. It was a beautiful read, one which I'm sure I'll delve into again.

3) Brené Brown - Braving the Wilderness (non-fiction). Brené writes with such convincing authority. She has walked out, wrestled with and been challenged by what she shares and asks of others. Her works are thoroughly researched and I cannot stress how needed her wisdom is. I highlighted line after line and folded over nearly every corner of this book to go back to - it is gold. 

4) Jodi Picoult - Small Great Things (fiction). This was a heavy, emotional read that was focussed on some very difficult subjects. Some of the reviews for this were mixed - but it made me think and do further research, so I think that makes it a success!

5) Shauna Niequist - Present Over Perfect (non-fiction). For me, Shauna is up there in my list of heroes (along with Bob Goff) and I told approximately anyone I've met since I read this that they too, need to read it. This book led me to do a lot of re-evaluating, deciding what is important to me and what I should dedicate my time to. I adore her poetic style and the way she walks with such integrity.

If you're interested - here is my Goodreads page; it's a great community, I hope you decide to join it too!

Love, S x

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Inspiration Station.

I can't believe the last time I sat to write was Easter. These past few weeks have flown by unusually quickly and I feel like I need to catch up a bit! I haven't neglected the writing due to lack of inspiration, quite the opposite actually! So much has changed lately that I feel a bit overwhelmed and don't even know where to begin. I suppose the biggest change is that I now feel settled in a new Church. I've already made some great friends and am enjoying getting stuck into life with those guys. I feel my heart shifting towards this new place, with this group of people and am excited about where the next few weeks might lead me. Check them out here. They are involved with lots of great community stuff, and this is the place where CAP (Christians Against Poverty) all began.

The main thing that has prompted me to write comes from a book I am reading at the moment. I was finally persuaded to pick it up as I was looking for something that was bound to inspire and stir me up. So far, it has passed that test as I knew it would, with flying colours! The book is called 'Undaunted' and is written by Christine Caine. After reading one of her previous books; 'Stop acting like a Christian and be one,' I fell in love with her honesty and uncompromising style. It's just so refreshing. I actually started reading Undaunted right before a shift at work and found even the first chapter left me heart broken and totally distracted all day.

You see, we all have dreams dont we? As i've said before, i'm a real daydreamer. I sit and think about when I will have my first youth work job, getting paid to do what I really love. Maybe i'll have my own office. Or then i'll be able to have my own home...full of trinkets and bedspreads (as I seem to have a weakness for bed linen.) Or marriage, family, future holidays or places I'd like to travel to. I know we all do it! Imagine if one day, somebody came to you and just offered you your dream. A fresh start, a new country, provision for your family, your dream job - but more than that - a HOPE that you didn't think would ever come to you. Imagine you are feeling hopeless, like you've given up, you're trapped, you'll never get out of this situation. In a dead end job, with little money, a house you hate or in a place you can't stand - and someone comes out of the blue to offer you a way out of that. How likely would it be that you would at least consider it? That glimmer of hope?

Say, you go for it. You trust that person. You move, ready to start your new adventure, a better life that secures a brighter future for you and your family - only to be trapped. It's not the place it was supposed to be. You were moved under false pretences, lied to, beaten, abused repeatedly. Trafficked. 

You may have guessed why this book left me distracted. This is the fate of so many people today. 27 million. Even as I write this, or as I continue to read the book this is happening. People are being SOLD. Trapped in shipping containers as if they are a product. Men, women and children. Forced into labour or the sex trade. Slavery is so REAL. It's happening right here, in my community, in my town, in my city and likely in yours too. This issue is bigger than ever before. We need to speak out! We need to educate, to spot the signs, to intervene, to rescue, to act, to pray, to speak out, to END IT. We musn't ignore it, or make it feel distant. This doesn't just happen in far away countries, poorer than ours.  You don't have to look far in the news to find it. These people; mothers, daughters, sisters, brothers, fathers - are being BOUGHT and SOLD. Human beings, just like you and I. We can no longer sit back  and pretend like this injustice isn't taking place day in, day out. Because it is!

I have blogged about the A21 Campaign before, and the author of this book is the freedom fighter behind this amazing Charity. Even if you aren't a Christian, I would recommend you read even just the first Chapter. It's actually on offer at $2.99/£2.99 as an E-book at the moment so now might be the time to snap it up. Christine writes with much more conviction than I do, but also has real life experiences in rescuing women from trafficking, which are heart breaking accounts - but a necessary read. There are also other great campaigns that speak out - The End It Movement, Restored For, Stop the Traffik, Hope for Justice, MTV Exit and Walk Free.

I think it's important that our hearts break for issues such as this, that we are moved to do something to eradicate it once and for all. Fundraise, talk about it, raise awareness, sign petitions - get involved. Freedom for all is something we must fight and keep on fighting for...

Much Love xxx

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Thankful Thoughts.

I really LOVE receiving post. I know exactly what time the postman is supposed to arrive at my door and if I am at home I will watch the clock until I hear that old familiar clatter of letters and parcels every day. (I can imagine that's what it feels like to be a dog waiting for the newspaper.) I guess that's one of the perks to shopping online because it takes a few clicks and I often forget I've even sent off for whatever it is so it works out as a lovely surprise. I've always preferred catching up with people via pretty notecards and postcards however in order to be an effective pen pal, the recipient is expected to reply. *hint hint* I just think it's always nice to have something to wait for, something that doesn't arrive in an instant. It takes time to sit and reply and to reflect on what has actually happened in your week in order to fill a card with information and questions to keep your conversation going. Why am I rambling on about this?

There has been one piece of post in particular that I have been eagerly awaiting, which was kind of annoying because it had a 10-14 working day delivery estimate. Everyday, I was hoping it would arrive and today it finally did! I realise I am building this up to something that is sure to disappoint you...it's not a time machine or the Cath Kidston dress that I've been coveting for weeks. It is in fact, a book.

I saw it when I was looking for something else on Amazon and read the description. Straight away,  I knew this woman was my kinda gal. I started reading it this evening and can confirm my early suspicions. I love it. I've only read a chapter and a half so far, so I know i'm merely on the cusp of her message but I already feel inspired. She first describes the pain of loss in her life and her reaction to blame God. She then states how one day, that all changed when she had a revelation.

I want to first share her picture of our human dissatisfaction. For this, she takes it back to the Garden of Eden:

'But in the beginning, our eyes were already open. Our site was perfect. Our vision let us see a world spilling with goodness. Our eyes fell on nothing but the glory of God. We saw God as He truly is: good. But we were lured by the deception that there was more to a full life, there was more to see. And, true, there was more to see: the ugliness we hadn't beheld, the sinfulness we hadn't witnessed, the loss we hadn't known.'

It's interesting, this. The thought that our dissatisfaction is part of our human nature. Of course, this is also a picture of us knowing better than God. We humans could have seen God in all His glory and accepted Him as He is and would have been grateful, but we would all have given in to the temptation of 'there must be something more.' Now, don't get me wrong - I am NOT saying there is anything wrong with ambition. I think ambition is good and is necessary to help us grow as people, but there has to be a limit. You only have to look at people chasing fame, they will seemingly do anything to get on TV, to become known by everyone - they want more and more until all of a sudden it becomes too much and they become empty. They could never be satisfied with what they had so they hungered for more and found nothing. They can't go to a coffee shop whenever they feel like it because they get chased by the paparazzi. They can't put on a few extra pounds because that sparks pregnancy rumours. They can't lose any pounds because then they have an eating disorder. They can't spend time with a friend because they might sell gossip to a magazine. Who can they trust? Where can they go?

This season of my life has been full of challenges. I've let go of fears, thoughts that I need to plan out my entire life, the 'what if I make the wrong decision?' doubts. I've found hope that if I keep knocking - the right door will open. I've done the waiting, the filling in of applications, the asking for help, the meeting new people but by far my favourite lesson - living in the here and now. You see, anything can happen tomorrow. We can't worry about that - what do we have today? What can we be thankful for, what can we be moved by, what can we appreciate right here and now?  This is where I link back to my new book. We need to be satisfied with what we have today. It's ok to want things, like I wanted my post (an abnormal amount! ha.) Or like I want a job and my own place, a relationship, children. But I also want to be grateful and thankful for what I have NOW. 

It's easy to be dissatisfied when we think our lives are boring. The key is this, as written by Christine Caine (my hero of the moment):

'We must begin to value our seemingly mundane lives and routines, understanding that each day God has opportunities waiting for us to meet the needs of others.'

I love this! It gives me hope that in my unemployed state, I still have a purpose! I still have lives to impact, people to meet, serve, love and befriend. I've been involved in all sorts, i've been busy building new friendships and restoring old ones. I've had time to rest and to read. I've watched on average one movie every day for as long as I can remember. I've been stirred up as I've researched things such as Human Trafficking (as you may have noticed!) I've been motivated to DO something. I have found joy in not knowing what tomorrow may bring and gratitude for what I have received today. 

Back to my book again. 

'The only place we need see before we die is this place of seeing God, here and now. I whisper it out loud, let the tongue feel these sounds, the ear hear their truth.' 

Previous to this she unpacks the word 'Eucharist' from it's Greek root and it becomes...

'Charis - Grace.

 Eucharisteo - Thanksgiving.

 Chara - Joy. [these are described by her as a 'threefold cord...that might make up the meaning of everything]'

Is that what we need to be satisfied? Grace, from God that our mistakes are forgiven and we can have LIFE, thanks for all the wonderful things we are given, the people in our lives, the things that we love and joy in all circumstances? I think so. I guess it all seems so simple, which is maybe why we can't grasp it. I think it is a daily battle to be satisfied. I will admit now; I have about 6 beautiful handbags that I can switch between when I feel like a change. I go to Cath Kidston (she's had a double mention today!) and I'll see a new print or a new style and I want it. Forget the 5 I already have, I want that one, I need that one. Do I? No. I could think, 'Sarah, you already have more than the average person when it comes to handbags - why not be glad for what you have?' I could even think, what about the people in my country, my county, my town who might have to live off £20 a week. Who can't get on to the benefits system, who can't get work, who can't switch their heating on, who are brought here against their will and forced to do things they don't want to do. Then it all becomes insignificant. What I should think is - look at what I HAVE! It's more than I need, more than I deserve so how can I share it?

A few things I was thankful for today were these views:

I want to live a life thankful not just for things (that let's be real - in the grand scheme of things, I don't need) but for purpose, potential and the gifts I have been given that can be used to bless others. I am grateful for the beauty that is around me, the way that God shows off with sites such as the above images and for the relationships I have that I couldn't POSSIBLY do life without. I love ya!

Much Love xxx

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