On restoring our space.

I know there's a common message about January, that it lasts about 234,857 days, but for me, this month has flown by. As I said previously, we were working on rearranging the house & it finally feels like that project is about completed. It's funny with things like this, you really see your true personalities coming out. I learnt again that I just want to push really hard & get it all done as soon as possible, & Tom has a much more laid back/last minute (!) approach, which about partway through the project caused us to pause, re-group & come up with a plan to power through. It was so hard to know what to do first because in-between caring for Finn & taking him to classes, Tom working full-time, me working part-time & the rest of the everyday house jobs needing to be done, it was a LOT to manage! Every room in the house felt chaotic to me because there were boxes, bags, clothes, toys & everything else everywhere.
Given that we now have lots of extra toys/clothes/blankets, and all the other "stuff" that comes with a baby in the house, we soon realised we just didn't have enough storage, so that was what we focussed on. We only painted one room, & we decided after originally prepping the small room as Finn's room that it wouldn't be big enough for him, so we did all the work of getting the bigger bedroom ready for him to move into in a few months now before we have a crawler on our hands!! We have now created a small office space & will soon move our beloved changing table away so we can free up the rest of the office room to store other things. I've been going out finding cheap storage options & found some underbed storage bags that are HUGE in Lidl along with other plastic boxes so we can stack everything away in cupboards & get them out when needed. I also found some really cheap hanging storage which we can use for his baby toiletries by the new changing station that sits on a chest of drawers & another will go downstairs somewhere, probably in the kitchen! It just feels a lot more like we know where everything is now & there's a better sense of order. 

My new favourite space in the house is our little corner in the living room by the window with this beautiful rocking chair so I can sit & read there. Full disclosure, our clothes airer has become a bit of a permnanent fixture just next it because at the moment it feels like a never-ending task to stay on top of that! Whilst Tom was building new furniture, I was listing the old stuff online & we did really well to shift everything. Tom did several trips to the recycling centre to take all the cardboard & I did some charity shop runs & still have a few bags ready to go. I recently saw an idea to put numbers 1-30 on separate pieces of paper & put them in a jar - you pick a number out each day & whatever number you choose is the number of things you need to giveaway/donate. I'm going to try that for February; it can be anything as small as a book, a t-shirt, anything you no longer need. I might not be able to donate that number of things, but I think it will give me a good thing to focus on & will help us continue to declutter. Alongside that, I'm going to have a "no online shopping" month. I found that whilst I took a break from social media I ended up opening more emails from different places advertising sales - so I definitely need to kick that habit! I have actually had a number of hiccups with items getting delivered anyway; I am fairly certain that Evri took on a bad driver & my parcel was stolen (I know it wasn't our usual driver because I saw him the today & asked him about it!) & I have a feeling I'm about to get stung on something we needed for Finn because I didn't realise the shop didn't send all their products directly & I've had it before where some companies won't ship to NI from Mainland UK but no-one ever makes that clear. 

For Finn's new room we chose the colour "Nordic Sky" & after seeing lots of winter clothes in the arctic animal theme (which I am SO excited for him to wear!), I found some of the cutest wall stickers to put in places that Finn can see them. I have cried several times throughout this process as I think about how fast time is going (he is 4 months next week!), how quickly he is growing & how he's changing all the time. It's so exciting to see his personality coming out & we loved creating this space for him but I'm sure like every parent, a part of me wants him to stay this little forever! I have just started taking him to the swimming pool as he seems to take after me & is a water baby so I really want to encourage that. I also shed a tear the first time I took him there! For the first few months of taking Finn out, I/we had only been staying fairly local so didn't take loads of things with us but as we are going out more often & for longer, I decided to finally invest in a "mum" backpack which has 18 pockets & is the best thing ever! It fits all our swimming gear & bottles/flasks & everything else we could possibly need! I found it on Amazon (I know not everyone agrees with this!) & it was 20% off but is really good quality.

Doing all this work helped me to see that ultimately with whatever project I come up with, I am always seeking peace. That is why the word "Shalom" is at the centre of our home. I really believe that a peaceful home makes for a more peaceful life & to me it just feels better to have some sense of order about the place. Of course, having toys laying around & the laundry hanging are the things that make it lived in so I hope it will always have that balance. I've noticed lately that when I take Finn out he is so much quieter than when he's at home which shows me this is the place he feels safe & comfortable, so we must be doing something right! 

This weekend I am taking a whole day to myself to go off to the big smoke - I've only had one day on my own since Finn was born that was just for me & that was cut short because I was so worried about getting out of the house quickly before he woke up that I forgot my phone! I keep planning all the shops I'll browse & how many coffee shops it's reasonable to visit in one day. For now, Finn has woken up from his morning nap, the laundry is calling & soon he will be hungry again!

Much love x 

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On preparing for change.

And just like that, our first Christmas as a 'three' has come and gone. Plus, my first birthday as a mummy! We had a wonderful, albeit busy, time with family visiting from England and it was special to celebrate it together as it was the first Christmas without our Gran. We have already taken down the decorations so we can spend the next few days quietly resting. Which is now more important than it was a few days ago as we have both been struck with whatever virus is going round & we are trying to protect the baby from catching any form of it. As we look ahead to a new year, I always like to take time out to reflect and to think about what is to come, so this seemed like the perfect time to do that. 

For us, 2022 was the year that gave and took away. We found out early on that I was pregnant so that of course changed the trajectory of everything. I remember sitting down the first week of January getting so organised, writing goals |& thinking of what I wanted to achieve, only to throw them out the window two weeks later. From then, I ended up having to change my job unexpectedly in March which was a huge cause of stress, followed by our landlord sending us a WhatsApp message (!) to say she was selling the house right after we had confirmed that we were going to stay another year. With 3 major things happening at once, it felt like everything was up in the air & I didn't know how we'd get through it. Thankfully, by the time we had our first scans and follow ups, we knew everything was fine with the baby, I settled in to my two new part-time jobs and we moved to a house much more suitable to welcome a newborn. 

The stress began to subside slightly once we had finally unpacked & settled into the house & we had our next scan to find out the gender. In the summer, we were able to travel back to England to catch-up with everyone & to have my baby shower. It was such a special time for Tom to finally be able to meet more of my family and friends & sadly it would be the last time I was able to see Gran in person. We were visiting during a heatwave, so being quite pregnant in 30+ degree heat was not an easy experience & we were pretty glad to get back to a much cooler NI! That was really our only break all year so we hope next year to be able to plan a little holiday as paternity leave did not count as rest!

As I wrote recently, Finn arrived 12 days late but he was perfect nonetheless. Since then, we have been enjoying parenthood & watching him grow & change every day. We got through his first vaccinations which I found harder than he did & his next ones are around the corner. We also had a surprise visit to A&E with him due to a high temperature but thankfully everything was fine & he handled it like a champ! Just a few weeks ago, after her quite rapid decline, we lost Gran. Navigating that loss from a distance, whilst juggling the highs & lows of motherhood & ever-changing hormones has been very challenging for me. It has been so many juxtaposing emotions at once. Such a picture of the realities of life. 

Change is on the horizon again, so I thought now would be the perfect time for me to switch off social media for a while & focus on the here & now. In a couple of weeks, I will be returning to one of my jobs, which admittedly is much sooner than I would've imagined, but it is something I have to do. I am very grateful that my employers are being so accommodating & flexible. It also gives me motivation to focus on establishing a routine with Finn & getting him used to spending time with other people. I've also signed us up to a couple of classes to join together which I think will be good for both of us. We will do everything we can to make our new routine work for us - but the stress of finances is something we don't want hanging over us any more - so as a family we are working hard to eliviate some of that. 

One of the major things I learnt about myself after having Finn was how much I love being home & making it a space that is comforting for us all & is somewhere we can thrive & feel safe. Due to that, we have decided in the new year to rearrange the house to make it more functional for all of us. I am spending time looking for furniture & paint colours that will help us create a small home office & make our spare bedroom into Finn's bedroom for when he moves into his bigger bed in a few months. This will also free up some space in our living room to make it more suitable for guests & give more room for Finn to move about in. He is growing so quickly & I really want to spend time organising his clothes & toys so it feels a bit less haphazard. We have nowhere near enough storage for all the beautiful gifts he was showered with this Christmas! I'm excited for a project to focus on, I think it will be a positive way to start the new year!

Overall, 2022 had some high highs and some low lows but as always, we come out stronger because of it. We have the excitement of watching our boy grow, learn & experience new things & the things we have been through together have brought us so much closer together as a family unit. I couldn't be more grateful to have the support that I do & to have a partner who encourages, listens, communicates, cares & loves as well as he does. Our time together is the most precious thing in the world to me right now & we will strive to find a balance that works for us this year. 

Wishing you all a very Happy New Year. Sending peace & love x

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On creating calm.

As we hit the anniversary of lockdown, a place many of us never imagined we would be, I have been thinking a lot about how to maintain spaces of calm to counteract the external stressors that we are still facing. For all the reading and research I've done into this topic, it almost always seems to come back to one thing: balance. The other thing it needs to be coupled with: kindness. Some days we will get it right, other days we won't and that's OK - we will never be able to completely eliminate stress, and there will always be unforseen circumstances, but we can find ways to make it more manageable. I am certainly no expert in any of this, but I wanted to share some of the practices I have been focussing on lately, and ones that I've used for many years, in order to welcome calm into my life. 

Rituals 

Bedtime

I just finished reading a nice little book I got for 

Christmas called "Seeking Slow" by Melanie Barnes. It's an easy 'nightstand' read and gave some great little tips and reminders. I had already been working on reintroducing a good nighttime routine to ensure a good nights sleep, which this book called a 'ritual.' When it's getting to about 9pm, I've started to unwind and begin my quiet time. The Yogi Tea - Classic brew has long been one of my favourite drinks so I enjoy sitting and sipping on that in an evening. I've also started using a new 'pillow mist' and eye mask for comfort and always spend some time quietly in bed where I moisturise my face and settle in for the night. I have been limiting my screen time by leaving my phone in another room (if I keep missing your calls, that's why!) so that I don't spend every evening scrolling on social media. 

Coffee

I was recently surprised with a beautiful new coffee machine and using that has become my new favourite morning ritual. I am a huge coffee lover but normally have just the one coffee a day now so I love being able to spend the time crafting a lovely drink to kick start my day. I bought a coffee grinder to go with it, so the process involves griding fresh beans, prepping the Espresso machine, brewing the coffee and steaming the milk. It's easy to make this a slow, mindful process to take in all the aromas of a freshly brewed cup of joe to start your day peacefully. I'm sure this would work for other hot drinks if you aren't a coffee lover - but the main point is to find an activity that you can bring an element of 'slowness' to.

 

Cooking & Baking

One of the plus sides of being home a LOT more has been the chance to experiment a bit more in the kitchen. I cook most of our meals from scratch and love the process of creating something that takes time to enjoy. I might not always have the time to put into creating meals that need a lot of prep so I'm trying to make the most of that chance whilst it's here. Some meals have multiple components - I found an easy 'naan bread' recipe which accompanys our curry, a really tasty flatbread recipe which serves as pizza base or cheesy garlic bread for with pasta and I think I've perfected the roast potato! 

Baking has long since been one of my favourite hobbies and it's great to have some willing taste testers around! I've tried lots of new recipes over this past year including; Mars Bar Brownies, NYC Choc Chip Cookies, Millionaires Shortbread, Chocolate Guinness Cake, Biscoff Fudge and Cinnamon Swirls. Most of those recipes are taken from Jane's Patisserie who just annouced a new recipe book which will absolutely be going in my online basket! Whilst I've been busy getting creative in the kitchen, I've found that we've spent more time together as a couple whilst Tom gets more involved in parts of it (though he might not admit that!) so I enjoy it for that, too - a sense of joint accomplishment and to be able to teach him some baking skills!

One thing I've also spent time on is looking for products that are seasonal and grown or created locally in order to support small businesses and artisans in Northern Ireland. This country is bursting with excellent produce and talented makers and I love the process of going to local markets and connecting with businesses, usually on Instagram. Most of my favourite finds come from The Farm Shop at Kylestone, of course!

Yoga Nidra & Meditation 

I first started attending Yoga Nidra sessions a few years ago in Halifax, through the wonderful Natalie at Northern Alchemy Therapies and recently began searching for online sessions again as I have really missed it. Yoga Nidra has been such a calm and relaxing experience for me and the in person sessions I went to were so cosy and peaceful. I learnt a lot from Natalie and joined an online session she did recently which was so special! I have been using online sessions from YouTube to try and find the right type and I've also added this into part of my bedtime ritual as referenced above - these meditations are great to fall asleep to as you quiet your mind and increase awareness of your body. I've also been exploring Guided Meditations through YouTube - I was recommended Tara Brach who does some great sessions. Just 15 minutes a day of this quietness can make such a huge difference. I'm no expert, but I am certainly finding it useful!

Walking & being outdoors 

This will come as no surprise to anyone who knows me or follows me on social media but for me, there is nothing quite like time spent in the outdoors! I am very lucky to live within a stones throw of some absolutely stunning walks and coastal paths and I adore exploring those areas. A sprinkle of sunshine always makes a difference! I always feel better after a walk, as if I can take on the world again. I personally never wear headphones because I enjoy taking it all in - the sounds of the sea, the wind, the birds, the people chatter. That's all part of the experience for me but it isn't for everyone. I have realised recently that I need to make time every day for this, even if it's just a short walk because I can notice that I feel different on the days I haven't been outside at all. I am so excited for the longer evenings that are coming and am really enjoying noticing the changes of the seasons with more colour bursting through. As we still can't sit indoors in cafes or restaurants, I am appreciating that the warmer days make it possible to enjoy a coffee outdoors on a bench without fear of freezing to death! 

Wild Swimming is very popular here and I did that a number of times my first year here but would love to get back into that - I did have a paddle after a lovely sunny walk last weekend but that's as brave as I was feeling! 

Calm spaces in the home 

This is the first time I've had full reign of a whole home and I have loved being able to make it a comfortable space for us both. I have always loved cosy lighting and have candles going every night along with fairy lights, night lights and lamps. I think lighting really sets the tone for the space. During the day, I usually diffuse some essential oils and though I am no expert in this either - I do think it makes a difference to feel the of the place. 

I love Tisserand and have been using these two scents a lot recently - Mind Clear and Total De-Stress. They smell so refreshing and uplifting! I have also used Bergamot, Lemon, Orange and Lavender and have mixed a few of them together. I'm not quite sold on Essential Oils being a magic cure for things, but I do think they make a difference to the living room!

The bath is absolutely my sanctuary and I have always spent a long time soaking in the bubbles. Bath products are one of my only 'splurges' because I know I will enjoy every minute spent in there. The Body Shop Berry Blend smells like actual heaven and it is by far my favourite bubble bath! I sometimes use Simple products as they have no chemicals and are better for sensitive skin and if I'm really in the mood for a pamper, I'll use a facemask and a hair mask. The Body Shop Shea Butter hair mask is my favourite - it makes my hair so soft and it smells divine. My bath tray usually features a book and a glass of wine and during the winter I regularly had candle lit baths for some extra relaxation! As I'm the only one uses the bath, it really is my little space and I love retreating there to unwind. 

The 'Seeking Slow' book I referred to earlier suggests creating such a space that is just for you and I love this idea. Even if you can sneak away there for 10 minutes, it can be your haven and it doesn't take a lot to create that. I keep some plants in the bathroom which brings a bit of nature indoors and I think that makes a difference! 

When I first moved over to NI, I decided I wanted to look after some House Plants. I like having things to take care of, so my friend and I found a local garden centre and I spent way too much money on succulents. However, they have become one of my favourite parts of my space. My 'Monstera Deliciosa' or Swiss Cheese Plant is one of my favourites, it has outgrown it's pot once and just keeps growing. It is currently sprouting two new leaves and will soon outgrow its' home again. I love having natural and seasonal things inside the house and the plants all need different environments to thrive in. My Peace Lily has been somewhat of a headache but I am determined to keep it alive! I was given a Geranium which has grown like crazy and Tom took cuttings of it to grow at the Nursery which I find oddly satisfying. I am running out of space to keep house plants, especially those that need a lot of sunlight, so I may have to go back to succulents - although many of those have outgrown their pots too! 

Recommended Reads

I listened to a Brene Brown Podcast recently - linked here (I think I've mentioned her before, but I am a HUGE fan of her work & have read all her books!) and consequently purchased 'Burnout' by Emily & Amelia Nagoski. I am only partway through, but have already picked up some really helpful tips on ways to have a daily check-in and relieve stress from your body. I can't wait to see what else I learn from it! 

A few years ago I read 'The Art of Hygge' by Meik Weiking and that's really what started me on this journey of cosiness and slower living. The book explores the Danish concept of 'Hygge' and for a while it was a bit of a buzz word, or something that people profited off, but for me it has become a way of living. I adored Meik's follow up book - "The Art of Making Memories," and would highly recommend that. I think it has just this week been republished in paperback! 

And of course, the book that sparked this post - Seeking Slow! 

I'd love to know of any ways that you are embracing this quieter life we now find ourselves in. Of course there are things we desperately miss right now but I'm trying to keep finding the positives where I can. 

Love, 

S x 

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