On welcoming autumn.

We are back to my favourite time of year again...I adore the 'ber' months! Although this spring was more special than usual, I still always look forward to the autumn and winter months. I think my deepened love for it has a lot to do with the boys being born during these seasons which gave me reason to truly hibernate and to slow down (in some senses!), in way that I'd never done before. Before I moved to NI and met Tom, I was always on the go, always travelling somewhere. I don't think I would've called myself that much of a home bird. But life now is a very stark contrast to that. The early days of Finn were largely long, sleepy snuggles under blankets, with a quick walk to give us both fresh air and to help Finn's circadian rhythm. I loved those quiet, cosy days hidden away in our little bubble. Of course, Zach was then born in winter, and it although it was quite challenging to get them out on my own, I did it as often as I felt able. I think part of me longs to keep recreating that feeling of hibernation, of fairy lights, candles and blankets. Of making soups, stews and pies and all the other comforting meals to warm us up. To sit by the fire with a good book, and to enjoy precious, quiet days as a family in our safe space. 

One of the things I've been reflecting on that inevitably gains more traction this year, is how much consumerism is getting out of control. I watch a lot of YouTube commentary on social media trends and what is going on online, it is making me see how much pressure there is to buy certain things to feel like you aren't missing out. For me, this time of year isn't about 'things' as much as it is about slowing down, but all I keep seeing is 'hauls' of this and that, and people rushing out to buy as much as they possibly can to decorate their homes or update their wardrobes. I am as guilty as anyone for buying home decor (ask my long suffering husband), but the things I have are not particularly expensive, nor are they single use. I don't think there is anything wrong with wanting to make your home look and feel the way you want it to, but I can't help but think that the way things are going is very concerning. I saw a post on Facebook recently regarding a 'Gilmore Girls' themed blanket which is available in one retail chain and keeps selling out. The author said she had never watched a single episode of the show, but she had seen everyone else posting about the blanket, so she had to go and find it. I thought this was such a reflection of what social media can do. It makes you feel like you need to have certain things purely because they are going 'viral,' whether you like the item or not. I have seen other videos of back to school hauls where young people are showing off their new clothes and accessories after spending $1,000s, making it look like this is normal. I have seen commentary videos of 'pack my Stanley cup for a walk,' where when they break down the cost of all the accessories (for a cup..!), it adds up to $100s. People are constantly trying to sell you something, without making it look like they are, and it really worries me that so many children are seeing this type of stuff and then asking for it. So much of it is so unnecessary and is just throwaway - it doesn't add any value or meaning to anyone's life. I know that as soon as Christmas has been and gone, the internet will be awash with 'Christmas Hauls' that people will then compare themselves to. I find it bizarre that people are making so much money from creating content about absolute nonsense, but you can see how quickly it spreads and new trends emerge. 

I think you can also see such a decline in individuality, because everybody is seeking the same things to be a part of this 'viral' crowd. People are afraid to say they don't like things, or to have their own individual tastes, because then they aren't part of the movement. I saw a video recently of a Mum who bought her daughter an off-brand Stanley cup and everyone picked on her because it was fake, so she came home heartbroken begging for the real $60 version. Things are just going so far off track for what life is all about, and I want to protect our boys from this for as long as possible. I want this time of year especially to be about celebrating together, enjoying nature, giving and receiving thoughtful gifts, making yummy food together, reading good books, doing some crafts, snuggling up under blankets, warming up by the fire, watching movies and drinking hot chocolate. The simple things that create good memories. 

I wrote last time about how I'd been daydreaming of running my own book club, and I can now share that this dream is becoming a reality next month! I have been a member of my online 'Chapter' for almost a year, and they are now starting a new club in my area which I will be the host of. I am very excited to get going, and hope we can meet lots of new people and create a lovely bookish community. I have absolutely loved rediscovering my love of reading, and have now read 41 books to date this year. I love how much it helps my imagination, and allows me to escape to different worlds, new places, and to get to know new characters. My book club has been a special place for me to connect with people and make new friends, to share recommendations and to reflect on what we've read, as well as encouraging me to read things I wouldn't have chosen for myself. Hobbies are such a great way to meet like-minded people, and I'm so thankful that I decided to take the plunge, because it has now given me such an exciting opportunity for my own club, with all the support behind me. I set up my own Instagram page (more commonly known as Bookstagram!) which has been a fun creative outlet for me, and it has connected me with some wonderful people, including authors and publishers, and it feels like such a wholesome corner of the internet. I want to learn a bit more about social media and to create some good content that people enjoy looking at. 

This blog post is perhaps a little different to what I've written the last while, but I have been reflecting a lot on how I spend my time, and what is important to me. It is a very tiring stage of life, so our downtime is very precious, and I don't want to spend it consuming content that makes me feel like more 'stuff' would fix everything. You don't need a bunch of things to make the most of any season, just the things that mean the most to you. Watching the boys play every day has made me realise how little 'stuff' they really need, and how much they enjoy just having the freedom to explore. We live a pretty humble life; I still buy most of my clothes from Vinted, I trawl charity shops and often get very lucky with local groups offering free toys, I get books 2nd hand or use ebooks, and the main hobby Tom enjoys is gaming, so we allow ourselves treats relating to those, but otherwise we just get by and enjoy family days out as often as we can. My aim is always to be content with what we have, trying not to get caught up in the comparison trap, knowing how blessed we are to have everything we need. 

As we enter this time of year, I hope we can all slow down and reflect on the beauty all around us, knowing we don't really need much to make life feel special. Sometimes, the most exciting thing that can happen in your day is seeing some ducks....

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On getting a new name.

After many years of daydreaming, and several months of fairly intense planning, last month I became a "Mrs." It all seems to have passed by in a bit of a blur, as it is already almost 4 weeks since the big day. Once we had finished celebrating Christmas last year, it felt as though time just disappeared as we awaited April. There was so much planning to be done, decisions to make and paperwork to submit. Most evenings I would sit and think about the wedding; searching for inspiration, collecting decorations or just imagining how the day might go. As it got closer, it took me longer and longer to get to sleep at night - not because I was particularly stressed, but because I was trying to imagine the scene...how our boys might react, what it might look and feel like to walk down the aisle, would there be enough food for everyone... All the things I've thought about for as long as I can remember! 

Once the day came, it truly was everything we'd hoped it would be. It passed by in a flash as most people said it would, but it was a colourful, happy, relaxed and (thankfully) sunny day! It was so special to have our closest people in the room with us, and I was personally so grateful that so many people had travelled over to be with us. It was both surreal and beautiful to see everyone in the place I now call home - and I loved that most people made a bit of a holiday of it so they could explore Northern Ireland and hopefully understand why I fell in love with this "wee" place. I spent the following days just looking over all the pictures, trying to take it all in that our big event had actually happened - all the planning came to be and we were now man and wife. I think in many ways that is still sinking in for me. I am busy trying to change my name wherever I need to (but mostly keep forgetting when people ask me what my name is!) I have a new email address at work which still feels a little strange to see, and if I've had to make any arrangements, it has felt a bit odd saying "I'll ask my husband..." 

Perhaps it is taking time for me to process it all because life soon went back to normal - the busy week to week of juggling everything, trying to make time for ourselves and for each other. I've also recently learnt of the phenomenon of the "post wedding blues," which I think probably describes my current state of mind quite accurately. It's such a strange feeling after focusing on something for so long to suddenly have it be over and done with, and life just continue as normal. I think it's probably fair to say that a lot of us dream about our wedding day for many years before it happens, imagining our dress, our songs and what our new name would sound like. It's not a sadness that I'm feeling, it's more of a slight feeling lost without having that big focus. It's a feeling that certainly won't last forever, and I've had some really helpful conversations about it this week that have helped me to emerge from my rut! Recently, we have kept our last few weekends very low key and relaxed to try and give ourselves a break, but I also got the urge to start spring cleaning, so we have done a lot of clearing out and changing a few things in the house that have long been on our list that we could now arrange. I finally got myself my dream mixer which has already been put to use, and we updated some pieces of furniture to make our living room a bit cosier. 

Wedding planning was a nice creative outlet for me - I loved designing all our stationery and signs and bringing the theme together, so I have made a list of other things I could do to keep my creative juices flowing. Reading is still a hobby I love, but I've found myself drawn to the kitchen again to try out recipes that I've wanted to try for ages. I made my first loaf of soda bread this week - an Irish staple - which was so easy and delicious (but didn't stick around long!) I would love to set a few hours aside each week to batch cook some nice homemade snacks and freeze them, so that is high on the agenda. 

I've also realised that I need to spend more time by myself - even just going for a quick evening walk - just to ground myself again after a busy day. I want to make the most of the light evenings and hopefully enjoy a few sunsets. I'm sure I've said this so many times before, but I still feel guilty for doing this now that I have the boys, but we all know it is important for me and benefits all of us, so I need to place myself a bit higher on the priority list. For now, what I really want to do is allow myself to slow down. To enjoy this new season we're in, to soak it all up without thinking what's next. To be present in the moment, to make memories,  to enjoy the presence of friends and family. I know I have written about gratitude several times before - but I just want to bask in that for a while...gratitude for our health, our love, our wonderful boys, a place to call home, jobs that provide for us and especially mine that offers so much compassion and flexibility for our young family circumstances, the opportunity to have ticked things off our "dream" list for the house, for friends and family who love and support us, for the chance to live in such a beautiful place, for the nature we are surrounded by and for the simple things in life that bring us joy. 

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On rediscovering reading.

I think for the last couple of years this little blog became more of a personal diary, which probably wasn't my initial intention but it has helped me to process some of the big changes that have come our way, both anticipated and unanticipated. But as we were out at the park today, I began thinking of ways I could make this space more of a general reflection on life and the things I'm learning. 

I have always loved reading. It's been a lifelong hobby for me, and I love nothing more than visiting a bookshop and choosing something new to immerse myself in. For the last few years, reading had really taken a backseat which on reflection was a sign that I was really struggling to switch off. I read a book that I absolutely loved just before Finn was born, and then due to all the big events that followed, I didn't pick up another one for months. Towards the end of last year, I really got back into it and it has once again become my most beloved pastime. We read with the boys everyday and Finn especially loves his books. It's been amazing to see how many words he's picked up and how he remembers the rhymes of his favourite stories each time. He particularly loves the "That's Not My" books from Usborne, of which we must have nearly every single one, and the "Tales From Acorn Woods" series by Julia Donaldson and Axel Scheffler. 

In November of last year, I decided to join a book club to try and meet some like-minded people which has been so much fun for me. I am part of an online community, and have recently found an in person one which has lots of women who are a similar ages to me. It's so nice for me to have those spaces where I can just be me and talk with other people about something I'm passionate about. I think it's fair to say that motherhood can be a little lonely, and given the fact that I wasn't born here and don't have my closest friends nearby, it's a great way to make new friends and  connections. As well as a sense of community, the clubs have given me so many new reading recommendations which I've really appreciated and it's helping me to find new genres that I like and want to explore more of. One niche I've discovered is Ice Hockey Romances, which goes along with my new found love of the sport! The beauty of reading is that you can do it anywhere. I always take a book with me in case I end up in a coffee shop (which I regularly do!), if I'm travelling for work, if I'm snuggled up with my heated blanket on the sofa, unwinding on my lunch break, or soaking up the peace during naptime! I pretty much pick up a book whenever I get spare moment! 

Although I'm trying not to set too many goals as I want to read purely for enjoyment, I have set a goal on Goodreads to aim for 30 books this year. So far I have managed 11, which means I'll most likely achieve that goal! Last year I managed 25 which I was pretty pleased with given how busy life was. I'm not really an audiobook person and prefer to read a physical copy, so I have been using Charity Shops and second hand websites to top up my "to be read" pile. My TBR pile is pretty full right now, so I'm trying not to add to it for a few months, but it's hard to ignore the temptation sometimes!! I also use the library, but we aren't geographically that close to one, so I try to use that when I know I can return the books on time. I have found a website that allows me to resell what I've read, so that has been handy for freeing up space and making a bit of money back. 

Recent reads that I've loved:

🩷 The Seven Year Slip - Ashley Poston

🩷  Blue Sisters - Coco Mellors 

🩷 The Housemaid - Freida McFadden 

🩷 The Seven Sisters (Series) - Lucinda Riley [currently read 5/7 books]

🩷 The Cosy Cottage in Ireland - Julie Caplin 

I've started a book journal too, which I think will be a lovely way of reflecting back at the end of the year to remember what books I've read and what I liked or disliked about them. Of course, I love writing too, so journalling has always helped me to make sense of my thoughts and clear my head a little. Both reading and writing really help me in several ways, so I'm glad I've managed to reach a place where it has become a priority for me as they are definitely forms of self-care. 

One of the things I'm dreaming of in the not too distant future is setting up a book club of my own as a branch of the UK wide book club I'm already a member of. I'd love to have my own in-person group that meets locally as there is definitely a lack of activities like that in our area. I'm imagining sitting in a cosy coffee shop with books, candles, cakes and 'craic.' I have already made the enquiries, so watch this space! My overall, big, lifelong dream would be to have my own bookshop by the sea... probably selling coffee and cakes...with lots of community events, launches, readings, kids events and clubs...who knows, maybe one day! 

Love,

S x

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On starting a New Year.

I have always been a big fan of New Year's. It always feels like a great excuse to start afresh, leave some things behind and look toward the future. Last year taught me so much personally. It pushed me harder than ever before, and forced me to really consider my own mental health and to listen to my body when it was telling me I needed to make some changes. I am so glad I reached out for help, and found ways to help myself cope with higher levels of stress. Towards the end of the year, I came across a job opportunity quite by accident and thought I should apply. A few days later I was invited to an interview, and then a 2nd interview. After a slightly anxious wait over the days that followed, I was offered the position and had to hand in my notice. It was a huge decision for me; I loved the team in my previous role and they had been so flexible with me during all the family changes and the sickness period we had from November onwards. Starting a new role has been daunting and quite intensive as we've had several meetings, and met up for a full day of training last week to try and understand the programme as it is a brand new team for a new youth project. My head has been spinning slightly, and it did trigger a migraine which thankfully happened in an evening and Tom was home so I could just go to bed! Things will settle down now as I start to do tasks and wrap my head around the role, but I am very grateful to have found something that is equally flexible and I know they understand the implications of having small children around! This is going to be a great fresh start for us, and it should hopefully see us through until at least Finn starts school, which is something I can't begin to think about right now!! 

Work trip to Belfast

We started off this year by getting the house back into order. I realise now that the weeks of sickness we endured between us led us to neglect some of our space, especially our bedroom, as we just didn't have the surplus energy to stay on top of things. We spent a whole day (in-between naps for the boys!) getting organised, setting up my desk space and putting things away. I felt ready to put away the Christmas decorations and just have some space back. I've worked hard all week to stay on top of everything instead of letting things pile up, and it has helped make our home feel much more peaceful. This weekend we did even more organising; I had to sort through all the boys clothes and moved Zach up to the next size which means we have a huge bag of donations and I listed a bunch of stuff on Vinted. I also went through my books and have sold a box of those through a re-selling scheme (I buy most of my books 2nd hand). This year I really want to simplify, so my plan is to tackle one room at a time and see what things we can sort through and find things we might not need anymore. 

For the past few months I've been watching a lot of YouTube content that is looking at the massive overconsumption that is all over social media, and it has really caused me to reflect on the ways I can be so easily influenced by things I see online. I have known for a while that having breaks from scrolling also takes me away from tempation of seeing things that people have bought or are trying to sell. I can see how much the 'trends' and 'viral' products are especially influencing young girls, and how expensive a lot of the products are, but they feel the pressure to want to be part of that. I think things like elaborate skincare routines are especially dangerous for younger people because their skin doesn't need it, and I worry about the long-term effects of that. A lot of the content that's pushed to me is around 'shopping hauls,' 'restocks,' 'make-up hauls,' and 'home decor,' all of which make you feel the need for more. Now that I am reading a lot more frequently, I find new content of 'book hauls,' and recommendations which can also lead me to grab another book to add to my 'to be read' pile.

A part of simplifying is also looking at what I spend my money on, and really focussing on what is necessary. That for me means doing what I can to escape that kind of content that can leave you feeling inadquate, or that fuels the desire for more. Having used skincare and make-up for many years now, I know the things that work for me and I want to stick to using those rather than being pushed to try something new. I have very sensitive skin (as do the boys), so I have found products that don't irriate me and I am going to stick to those. For Christmas I received a range of Aveeno oat skincare products and a set of Tropic skincare. Both of those ranges have been so good for my skin, so those will be repeat purchases. Other ranges that work well for me are Weleda, Simple and The Body Shop - I use those mainly for bath and shower products as they are all kind to my skin. I love Body Shop products for my hair as well, but I've ended up sharing a lot of that with Tom as it's also good for his beard! My plan is to use up what I have and don't try anything new because I don't need it.

I have always been a person who values experiences more than 'things,' so we have thought about some of the experiences we'd like to have this year, and want to put our resources into those things instead of bringing more toys and such into the house. We have a pot set aside for trips to the local soft play, and we gratefully received annual passes for the aquarium again which means we can go there as often as we'd like. Tom and I would like to go to a few more Belfast Giants (Ice hockey) games, and I'm sure there will be plenty of other local events cropping up throughout the year. To me, the times we spent together having fun and making memories are way more important than having fancy stuff, so that is going to my focus this year, as well as adding whatever we can to savings. 

Coming up in 2025

This week I joined an online session as part of my book club which was a chance to make a 'vision board.' I can't remember if I've made one before, but I found it so helpful to think about the year ahead and what I wanted it to look like. The words and scenes I was drawn to were things like comfort, peace, and cosy, and a lot of what I pictured was centred around being at home. It helped me see that I want to really embrace being home and creating a peaceful atmosphere within it. I want to enjoy slow days, especially at the weekend, where we can spent time together outdoors at parks, the beach or our favourite nature spots and come home to make a nice roast dinner and curl up with a book. I am going to join an in-person book club too which I am looking forward to and I really want to stick to that commitment, as it is so hard to meet new people at this stage in life, but I think it would be so good for me - especially if I know we have a common interest at the outset. I'd also like to start a simple book journal which will allow me to track what I've read and what my thoughts were - the beauty of book clubs is that they boraden your horizons and get you to read things you might not naturally choose. This year I want to read 40 books - last year I managed 25 which I was quite pleased with! 

Soon we will celebrate Zach's first birthday, which is actually making me feel very emotional...I can't believe my baby bear is almost a year old. He is just the most wonderful, loving, laid-back boy and he has brought so much joy to our life. I am excited to have a special party at home for him, and I've gathered most of the decorations for the theme which I will share after! We decided to get him a special teddy and some nice little outfits, but otherwise we will probably focus on saving money for future outings as I mentioned above. 

Then what follows is the biggest event of the year...our wedding is very fast approaching! Most of the planning is done, but there are a few things I want to focus on over the coming weeks. Next week we have time set aside for planning, and Tom has a plan for going suit shopping. I know everything will come together and we still have plenty of time, but every now and then I have a moment of panic about it in case I've forgotten something major! We have decided on where we want to go for our honeymoon and we just need to lock-in the dates. It will be simple and quiet which is just what we want. We can't wait to have everyone gathered with us and to celebrate together. I'm excited for the boys to finally meet everyone from England, and to see them in little suits! 

For now, I want to make our meal plan for the week and then begin my 2nd book of the year which is 'Moon Sister' by Lucinda Riley. The Seven Sisters has been the best series I've read, it is just brilliant and I can't wait to get stuck into the next one! 

Love, Sarah x

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On trying to overcome burnout.

I have tried to sit down and start this post so many times, but we currently find ourselves knee deep in a sleep regression stage. It's a new phenomenon for us, as the first time around we never really experienced it. Currently, we are several weeks into regularly being woken up around 2-3 times per night, and the tiredness is definitely taking its' toll on us. I find that a lot of people will say that they're only little for so long, or we will miss this phase, and surely we will miss parts of it - but when you are trying to juggle everything like work, housework, finding your own downtime, making time for yourselves as a family and as a couple, with a sprinkling of pure exhaustion, it feels like a very difficult slog. I know we are not the only ones trying to cope with this, several friends have noted the same right now and we are trying to share advice and encouragement where we can. I'm also part of an online parenting group that is filled with regular posts from desperate parents who feel like they've tried everything and they're at their wits end. In many cases, I think it's just a phase we have to battle through and do our best to keep smiling when we can. I'm very lucky that Tom always encourages me to rest first because he knows I do the bulk of the childcare and I do think the exhaustion hits women differently. We are trying hard to give each other grace and let some things wait for a while, because what we both need right now is rest whenever we can get it. 

In the midst of my plight, and trying to prevent reaching a stage of total burnout, I rediscovered someone who I used to follow and take inspiration from that I somehow forgot about, and she recently posted something that really helped me to take a pause and reflect on what I need to do to help myself get through this rough patch. She (Emily P. Freeman) asked the question; "what is saving your life right now?" that she took from another author, and then shared the things that were helping her overcome burnout. I thought this was a really helpful exercise, and I wanted to share mine, in case it encourages anyone else to think and reflect on it. 
1. ReadingI have always been a reader. I love stories and finding escapism that way. I've noticed I go through phases of reading new books back to back and then taking a break, as sometimes I feel a bit too frazzled to concentrate on a book and would watch movies (or trash TV!) instead. I've also found a few interesting creators on YouTube that I enjoy learning from, so sometimes I use my bits of downtime watching that. But presently, books are my solace. I am partway through my 18th book of the year, which I'm quite pleased with given that for the first few months of the year I was adjusting to full time parenting a 1 year old and a newborn, and certainly didn't have much time to sit still for any length of time. It's really helping me to switch off in an evening and enjoy a different world for a while. I absolutely love memoirs and always race through those, so I'm currently challenging myself to read some different genres to stretch me a bit. I am going to start book 3 of the Seven Sisters Series soon, which is a series I have thoroughly enjoyed so far. The stories are a great mix of taking you to different cultures and time periods, and I'm so intrigued to see where it's all leading to. My reading journey has also taken me back to visiting the library more regularly, and searching for 2nd hand books, as it can be an expensive hobby! My favourite way to get lost in a book is by the fire, snuggled on the sofa, with Classic FM playing the background.

2. Getting cosy For me, setting a cosy atmosphere at home is so important. I have candles, fairy lights, and blankets out year round. But the last couple of weeks we have also been lighting our fire, which just brings another dimension of cosiness (or hygge, my favourite discovery in recent years). I love sitting on the floor, listening to the crackling and basking in the heat. I love the smell of my favourite wax melts filling the room. As per my previous post, I am an autumn/winter person. I love the colours, the changes in nature and returning home after a blustery walk to warm up again. I think there is so much magic this time of year, and embracing it has really made a positive difference for me. Sometimes I actually feel a bit excited to see it's getting dark outside so I can close the blinds and turn the lamps on! One thing I also do some nights to help me sleep is listen to Yoga Nidra podcasts or meditations. They work really well for me, and usually allow me to clear my mind and drift off if I find my brain is still very busy. 

3. Walking/Visiting parks It is clear that although the three men in my life are all total home birds, they all also enjoy getting out and exploring nature. Any day the weather isn't too bad, I try my best to get us all out for a run about. Finn absolutely loves a park, and we are very lucky to have so many brilliant ones so close by. I was thinking the other day that we probably could do a different one each day of the week! It's wonderful to live in a place that really values creating spaces for children to learn and have fun - a lot of them have different musical instruments and interactive activities that focus on the weather, animals and lots of other things. There are pirate ships and beach huts, swings and slides, castles and bridges and everything in between! I have to say, watching Finn run so happily with total abandon is a view I will always treasure, and it is sure to brighten up any day. Walking has always been a saviour of mine, and although I don't go on my own very much anymore, it's great for getting Zach to sleep which inturn gives me chance to slow down and process. 

4. Cooking/bakingI adore being in the kitchen. It's one of my happy places. I love trying new recipes and making yummy, wholesome food for us all. Each week I do my meal plan which helps keep everything organised, and I do our grocery shop based around that. This month I'm trying to stretch things a bit further by welcoming back soups and stews (a staple on the Emerald Isle!), and bringing back easy things like Mac and cheese that just feel comforting on dark nights. Finn is certainly embracing new foods, so I'm glad to see him enjoying my food too, and Zach is well into the weaning journey and is hungry the majority of the time! Baking is probably my favourite hobby, again, I relish trying new bakes and pushing my skills a bit. For the last few months I committed to baking at least once a week, which I have stuck to. There have been no complaints about this venture so far! I recently made a caramel-apple crumble which was autumn in a bowl. Making something from scratch is just such a satisfying activity, and it always brings me back to me. 

5. Coffee ShopsTo anyone who knows me, this is an obvious one. Coffee shops are my favourite places, the spots I always go to if I am in need of quiet time. I love taking my laptop and working in one, reading books or going through my favourite magazine (The Simple Things). Again, we are very lucky to have so many good ones locally that are stocked with the most amazing treats and delicious coffee. I love being able to people watch and see the ebb and flow in the background whilst I look up from whatever I'm doing. Even if I can just sit for a few hours a week in one of my favourite coffee spots, I know it helps me so much! I'd add to this that every evening I sit and enjoy a cup of my favourite tea, Yogi Tea Classic blend, which not only soothes my soul as I (hopefully!) get the chance to wind down for a couple of hours, but it also provides a tiny piece of wisdom that I'll conclude with. 

I think because the last couple of months have stretched and challenged us in new ways whilst we try to regain balance, and figure out what we need for ourselves individually to function better, I have regained focus about the things that are truly important to us collectively and how I want to split my own time. Whilst I would love to get out more and catch up with friends, travel, commit to a weekly group, and probably several other things, it just isn't the time right now. This is where my tea-bag wisdom comes in: 

I read this a while ago and think of it often. Sometimes I get so caught up thinking about the things I 'should' or 'could' be doing, that I add pointless extra to pressure to myself. Since reading this quote, I've been working really hard to figure out what 'noise' I can remove so as to increase my enjoyment of the present moment. I know the boys are so happy in their own surroundings, so instead of busting myself to get us to groups and classes, I know they love visiting the park, so that's a better use of our time. We didn't do any extravagant activities like expensive pumpkin patches because I know we wouldn't get much out of it, so we opted for a really simple one we could walk to and loved it! We are keeping our weekends much simpler, opting for slower days wherever we can and taking help if it is offered so that we can recoup a bit. I am working on my high expectations for myself, and reminding myself that I am doing the very best I can, and it's ok that I am finding it hard right now. I'm learning that my capacity is a little lower than usual, but it will come back eventually. I'm prioritising rest, and working on communicating about the things I'm finding challenging, and I've realised that sometimes I don't want or need advice, I just want to be listened to. I think the crux of it is: I need to let myself off the hook. 
P.s. today we had a slow day, which encompassed most of my favourite things; a long walk as a family (and watching Finn run and explore nature), a visit to a 2nd hand book fair, an afternoon in the kitchen making Tom's favourite chicken curry, followed by a first attempt at oreo truffles. Now, it's ending with a hot chocolate by the fire in my cosy blanket with my current book. I hope this week you can find time to enjoy some of the things that are saving your life xo

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On seeking peace.

Looking outside today (4th August), it's hard to believe we're still in summer. I am an autumn person through and through, it's by far my favourite season with all the colours I love, the best comforting food, the cosying up, the crisp air and crunchy walks. I know people think we shouldn't wish time away, but for us, we are entering another new season, so no-one is to stop me bringing out my 'fall decor.' 

Our beautiful Zach is somehow already 6 months. We struck gold twice as he is such a contented, laid-back, resilient boy. Weaning is underway and his two bottom teeth have broken through, with many others to follow according to the dentist after he aced his first appointment. Zach is just happy to be here, and we can't imagine life without him. We are also very grateful that he is now consistently sleeping through the night after a few months of pure exhaustion! Finn is as busy and as curious as ever. He runs everywhere. Most weekends we try squeeze in a visit to soft play so he can be wild and free. We go to different parks as regularly as we can to give him the chance to explore and play, and we are so lucky to live nearby so many great outdoor play areas. I took both boys to a park this week and I just laughed and laughed watching Finn run around the place. His joy is so contagious and it was a good reminder as an adult with lots of responsibilities that we can and should have moments of carefree fun. I wish I could bottle some of what Finn has when he's doing what he loves the most, and I hope we can protect that sense of freedom for as long as possible! 

The new season for us is that I have now officially returned to work. It feels like an awful lot to juggle, and with every twist and turn we've faced, it has often felt impossible to see a way through it as it begins, but somehow we have made it work. So, I'm reminding myself now that we can and will do it. I will be working part-time as before, so at least we don't have to navigate a full week of both of us being at work. But we are ready to implement some changes next month that should allow us to manage the load better between us, and give us a greater sense of control over our schedules. 
Over the last few months, we have been through a lot of different hardships, ones which are personal to us, but have tested us to the limit in various ways. Tom and I have talked at length about how we find a better balance for us as individuals, as a couple and as a family unit and I am confident that moving forward we will be in a much better place. Having two children under two is chaotic and challenging. Generally we don't sit down to rest until 8pm or 9pm after being on the go for 12 or more hours. The task list feels neverending, and we find ourselves to be quite overstimulated some days. We both know we need to invest in ourselves more and ask each other for the space we need to reset our batteries, especially as we are both introverts. For me, I have found my solace in reading, my lifelong favourite hobby, and am enjoying escaping to a good book every evening. I have joined the library again and signed up to their monthly book club which should introduce me to some new people as well as encouraging me to read different things. I've read two of their past recommendations recently which I probably wouldn't have chosen by myself, and somewhat devoured them. I always gravitate toward non-fiction, particularly travel writing or memoirs as I am fascinated by people's journeys and what life has taught them. However, they usually give me the urge to do something radical like drop everything and move to a tiny island. The problem is that Tom would also be in favour of that, so I'd better read something different for a while!
Writing, as I'm doing now, is also one of my favourite outlets. I have a few blog posts in mind, so I'd like to dedicate some down time to that. I enjoy sharing our updates and experiences, and I'd like to expand the blog to something beyond what it has been the last few years,  which is more of a holiday card update every few months. Tom finds his escapism in gaming, so it's nice that we can do our main hobbies simultaneously! This last weekend we were able to enjoy our first roadtrip in a while and that was a special day for us. We know it's something we need to do more often, as travelling gives me back my sense of freedom, and finding new places always re-energises us and helps us to make new memories together. It feels like our 'thing' as that is what we like to do on our holidays - have a place to stay as a base, but spend our days exploring as we go with no set itinerary. 

These are the things that give us our peace back; that and watching our boys laugh and frolic. And these are the things that will become our priority as we continue through the early years of raising our family. 
I just realised at this point that I have forgotten to share probably our biggest news which is that we are engaged! Back in April, Tom arranged for a day out just the two of us to visit our favourite place where we had our first date (and many since then) and got down on one knee overlooking my beloved lake view which I have approximately 1 gazillion pictures of in different seasons. (The best time to take in that view is autumn!) Of course, I said yes. 

Our wedding plans are in full swing with all of the biggest things in place. We only have a few things left to organise which I am trying to spread out over the next few months, and some things need to wait until a few weeks before. But I certainly don't need to be a bridezilla as I've had a secret board on Pinterest since circa 2009, so this wedding has been planned in my head for many years. Of course I never imagined it would take place in Northern Ireland with our two boys in little suits and dickie bows, which all adds to the magic of it. We get married next spring in a beautiful venue overlooking the Lough after 5 1/2  years of being together and exactly one year of engagement. Most of my daydreams feature the wedding at the moment, and it is so wonderful for us to have something so special to look forward to. 
For now, I will conclude this post and spend the last couple of hours starting a new book before turning in. We have a very busy week ahead of us as Tom has to work some of the weekend too, but I am glad to have some extra helpers on hand to share the load. 
Love,S 

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On embracing rural life.

This coming week marks 5 years since I packed up my little car and set sail to new adventures in Northern Ireland. I know I've written many times about how much life has changed since that day, and about how some of my wildest dreams came true after I decided to take the leap. I have always dreamed of living by the sea, and at this point the novelty has not worn off. We felt the affects of our location this weekend after being hit with another storm, but for me it adds to the drama and the beauty of our place. 
Connection to place is really important to me, and I wrote about that in a previous post (if you'd like to read it - follow this link). One of the things I love about living in a small place is that it doesn't take long to feel known or to make connections. I was reminded of this a few times in the last few weeks...once when I bought something random from Facebook Marketplace and stayed chatting with the seller for about 30 mins because it turned out she worked at the nursery with Finn. Another when we went to a local market and had lovely chats with people we've been regular customers of, bought some cakes from a lovely friend at her stall, and was treated to a cup made by a wonderful artist who I'd met at a party. One thing I have really noticed about this area is how much small businesses or artisans try to support each other. There are regular markets or events where you can make purchases from local people with lots of different options. We have so many talented, creative people around these parts and I love being able to see, purchase and support those people where I can. 

One of the downsides of rural living is of course that it takes longer to travel anywhere. It is about a 50 minute round trip to the nearest supermarket for us, and I'm struggling to find a time to go that really suits us now. We have tried having deliveries, but I often find that the choice isn't as good, we get substitutions and then have to visit another shop anyway, or the meat/fresh produce has a very short date so it has to be frozen or gets wasted. I sat and thought about how we could shop in a different way that might take less travel time, could help us budget differently, could support local small businesses and would free up our weekends so we weren't dragging two children around busy shops when they hate it! 

The first thing we have done is made a big list of all the things we need both weekly and monthly to help us keep a track of everything. Our new plan is to have a weekly budget that will help us keep on top of fresh things; dairy, breads, meat, fruit & veg and then do one monthly shop to help us fill in the gaps. We are also trying to budget in cash so we have a set budget for the week and can see exactly what we're spending. I have no idea what other people or families spend on weekly or monthly basis for food & essentials, but what I'm trying to break the habit of is going to smaller shops several times during the week because we tend to easily spend £10+ a time with very little to show for it! 

For the last few weeks we have been visiting local butchers to get all our meat from there with a roughly £20 budget for two of us. I've got advice on which things to freeze and what to use first, and we've been cooking and experimenting with new ingredients which has kept things interesting! That budget would get us a mix of chicken, burgers, sausages, mince, pork chops or a small roasting joint and this covers us for around 5 or 6 meals. The other days we would have something easy from the pantry or freezer and I usually make a slow cooker soup or stew of some sort. We think we've landed on a couple of Butchers that we like and will revisit, and we hope they will get to know the kind of things we are after if we become regular customers. 

We have also found a way of getting fresh fruit, veg & eggs delivered weekly from a local farm. I was surprised about how affordable this would be for us as there is more than enough to serve several meals. Our latest order included leeks, potatoes, carrots, parsnips, eggs, peppers, onions, apples & oranges and it cost less than £11. The quality is great and the size of some of the vegetables is probably two or three times what it would be in the supermarket! I ordered some last minute a few days ago ahead of our Sunday Roast and was met by the farmer himself at their honesty box who had prepared everything in a crate for me to pick up. I thought this would also be a great way for us to buy what's in season rather than rely on lots of imported produce.

Our new way of shopping has also helped me try new recipes which I always enjoy, and I thought I'd share a few of our new regulars here...
Pork Chops
Slow cooker beef + homemade gravy

Tuna Pasta Bake (a good one to use pantry supplies)

Caramelised onions (great with sausages - we had these in brioche hotdog buns!)
Bolognese with Orzo (I use a similar recipe to this but can't link it as it was an Instagram reel, but Orzo is so handy!)

The main goal with all these changes is to have more quality time together, especially on a weekend. We want to make sure our budget allows us to give the boys some fun experiences and to free up what precious time we have together on a weekend instead of visiting supermarkets and busy places. The added benefit of shopping locally means we know exactly where our food is coming from and we can get to know the producers. I also really enjoy the process of making things from scratch and creating good quality meals for us. It's all part of the 'hygge' concept that I adore.
And who knew that by adapting some new habits, we'd bring such a fun object into the house that has now become part of the furniture....

     Much love xx

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