On being content.

Let's just pretend that it hasn't been 9 months since I last sat down to write, OK? Good. The past few months have felt like the craziest rollercoaster and I haven't really had much time between rides to sit and gather my thoughts. It's felt like one minute, I'm in Central Park eating PB&J sandwiches with 9 kids who've never left their city before, then I've blinked and I'm atop the Yorkshire hills with two American friends sipping on an orange and lemonade that cost me £4.50 and now I'm sat in a coffee shop in Oxford resting my weary legs having spent the day navigating through various groups of tourists who seem to have no spatial awareness.

It's hard to believe how much change I've experienced lately, how many friends I've gained and done life with for short bursts, before I've run head first into the next adventure. I think in all of this upheaval, what my heart has really been searching for is contentment. A continual feeling of knowing that right here, right now, is where I'm supposed to be. That this stop on the ride is planned and predestined and the people who surround me are meant to be there, to enjoy this season with me for however long it will last.

A few short weeks ago, I left my beloved home once again and started work in Oxfordshire. It was by no means an easy move. That 3 1/2 hour journey felt like a long and lonely one (perhaps because it took me nearly 5!) surrounded by my vacuum packed belongings, as I headed to a place I had never really planned on going. But I can feel it. The knowing that this is it, the place I've been searching for. Contentment.

Of course, life isn't all of a sudden picture perfect. There have been a couple of twists and turns so far but that is to be expected. There was just something about this move that felt inexplicably right. It wasn't part of my master plan, and I certainly didn't see it coming. My heart has always belonged to the North but I have to say, the adjustment has felt quite smooth. My accent thus far remains un-mocked, (in fact it has been enjoyed!) though it has, on occasion, been misunderstood and many natives of the South have questioned what caused me to leave the magnificent hills of Yorkshire for such a town as Didcot, to which I can only answer "this job." But there's something about being able to hop on a train at the weekend and wander through the streets that inspired the likes of Jane Austen and C.S. Lewis that suits my soul.

You see, contentment is a choice. Whether or not I thought I'd be where I am, I can chose to be happy here without yearning for somewhere else. Somewhere else could be better, but this is where I am choosing to be. We can either be constantly looking at other people's gardens, wishing ours were as lush or as well decorated as theirs, or we can tend to our own and appreciate its' beauty for what it is. It's all too easy today to become distracted by social media, as we all so willingly throw out our carefully selected highlights for the world to see but as soon as we scroll the news feeds of others, we quickly begin to feel like our adventures just aren't quite as exciting as we first thought. We devalue ourselves all too easily. We constantly try to go one better, quietly competing with each other and without realising it, we've become discontent with our gifts, talents or even lives, wishing they could be as good as we perceive others' to be. 

There is a time to nurture your own garden, to work on loving and spending time with yourself.  And in doing so, I must urge you to learn not to compare your life, your everyday comings and goings with anyone else's. We each have our own path to walk down, our own choices to make, experiences to enjoy or sometimes, endure and that is what makes us unique. We must learn to celebrate these differences, instead of feeling inadequate when we feel as though we don't quite measure up to our neighbours. In our constant comparisons, we lose so much of our own freedom to enjoy what has been gifted to us so graciously.We must learn (or sometimes, fight) to feel that we have done enough, we have enough and know that we are good enough. When we truly grasp contentment, we don't look at what our neighbour has been given and feel a lack for ourselves, because we appreciate that we have what we need, and they have what they need. We are able to celebrate the blessings received by others because we appreciate the blessings bestowed unto ourselves. 

"God has promised to supply all our needs. What we don't have now we don't need now." Elisabeth Elliot

Read More

In The Summertime.

It's pretty unbelievable that we're already partway through summer but let's not dwell on that! Right now we are almost halfway through our first summer camp - 'Camp Youth for Christ' in partnership with Urban Promise who I have mentioned many a time. So far, though it has been busy and a lot of extra work for me, (as I am camp director) it has been full of greatness. It's lovely to see our kids respond to a new discipline/reward system but also to get them mingling with other kids in the city. We all join together every week (all 7 camps across the city) to go on joint field trips which the kids have loved.

I have to say, wearing shorts for 6 weeks filled me with nothing but dread alas, at the end of every day I can slip back into normality aka a dress. Life is full of sacrifices. The kids are learning all about the Fruits of the Spirit which are pretty huge life lessons for a younger audience. Teaching them about self control when they all want to play the X-Box at once is no easy task. Asking them to practice patience when traveling 2 hours to our field trip destination takes work. Getting them to speak kind words instead of hurtful ones requires constant intervention. But, in the end it will hopefully get through to them in some way that will shape their character for the future. Plus, it's just important for all the leaders to practice the same things! Many of my days are spent trying to ensure everything is running smoothly as well as disciplining the kids and checking all my staff are ok. One of these days, I might actually get to drink a full cup of tea. However, we are making some great memories and I am learning something new every single day.

Saying cheese for me in free time! 

In our opening program games...

Water fight! Very necessary in this heat!

I also just spent my first 4th July weekend in the States. Though I have to say, it didn't quite live up to my expectations, I FINALLY convinced my YFC family to go somewhere for breakfast. I was originally insistent upon Ihop but settled for an independent diner which kept everyone happy because I could eat pancakes and fresh strawberries and the guys could eat as much bacon and sausage as they jolly well wanted. Here we are:

I was feeling very joyful about this moment.

We then went to Rehoboth beach in time for the Germany vs France game whilst the rain was pouring but thankfully Germany won so the day was not ruined! However, we didn't really know what to do at the beach in the rain for 7 hours as we waited for the fireworks, (seeing as though my suggestions of sandcastle building, hole digging and fish n chip eating all well and truly bombed) we decided to head home. I accidentally fell asleep in the middle of a movie as keeps happening lately but woke up in time to go watch the fireworks at the Riverfront. I have to say, it was probably the best firework display I've ever seen - including London at New Years, mainly because no chaos ensued following the end of the display! There was a moment in the finale where the sky looked like it was covered in glitter..it was amazing. They really go all out for the 4th. So I enjoyed it in the end!

Though we all know time flies when you're having fun, there really is no slowing it down lately. We have just over a month left together and I may or may not be at a point already where I cry every time I talk or think about saying goodbye to my German family. Though some times have been tough for us and we are all feeling tired, it's very hard to imagine life here without them. Today, we had a team meeting where I received my usual feedback of; 'Sarah, some things to work on - first of all, cry less.' HA! I don't even argue with it anymore. I have no shame in saying I have cried twice today as I've talked about the guys leaving. It's going to be a long few weeks!!! It is going to be like University ending all over again, another era in life coming to a close. I am hopeful that we will make the most of our time together and go off with a high as we all embark on the next part of our adventures. As I spoke with Keenan about it earlier, he said to me; 'Sarah, they're not dying.' That helped, I think. 

Which brings me to my next point; I will be staying Stateside! I think I had told most people, but didn't make a big public statement about it until it was sure. I have been offered a full time position over here with Delaware Youth for Christ and am so excited about staying and helping to direct this Ministry forwards. I knew the moment I landed that life was never to be the same again and am filled with joy when I think about seeing these kids grow up and watching what they become. Even though I do miss a lot about England, I know I can make a life here, at least for the foreseeable future and can't wait to see what comes of this decision. As I mentioned earlier, these past six months have had ups and downs such as yesterday, when I found my first grey hair.  But, on days like today, when one of my kids arrives at camp with his usual handful of flowers for me and greets me with; 'Hi Ms Sarah! I love you,' I don't mind how many grey hairs it gives me, this is where I am supposed to be! 

England, I'll see you in the wintertime. 

Read More

Retreat.

Howdy partners! I will eventually stop apologising for the lack of updates of late and just start a post like a normal person, but for now - I am sorry for the break!

This weekend, I was blessed by the gift of a retreat in a beautiful center in Quarryville, Pennsylvania. Some of the women from a Church we have worked with before, in fact I met them the very first week I arrived in Delaware when I experienced my first retreat with our kids and theirs, invited me to join them free of charge on their annual women's retreat. This one was quite a different experience than the first! It was yet again in a beautiful area and was surrounded by woodland and a heck of a lot of snow. I was so ready for some rest and time in a different environment with new faces so I was really excited to go. 

I was able to travel with some of the wonderful women I get to work with at Urban Promise and had a great time hanging out with them some more. The schedule was pretty jam packed as these weekends often are so I was most looking forward to free time on Saturday afternoon. I absolutely love walking and exploring my surroundings so I was quick to take a hike! 

Saturday was such a lovely afternoon, the sun was finally shining and the snow was melting. Of course, I didn't consider the implications of ankle deep snow melting as I was walking but miraculously, I didn't fall over once! It was so muddy and pretty difficult to walk through the paths but that just added to the adventure. 

I decided to follow the trail to see the lake as I had heard it was a pretty site. I will mention at this point that I had taken loads of photos on my camera but somehow my iPhoto imported and erased them all and they are gone from the memory card :( I guess those memories are to be stored only in my head, sorry! UPDATE: I found the photos! Alas, I always take pictures on my phone so there are some survivors. I arrived at the lake to see it was completely frozen over so I just had to imagine there was water under there:

I sat down on one of the benches like the one you see above for about 30 minutes. It was so nice just to hear the sound of the brook next to me and the birds singing. There was no-one around to talk to but I could just sit and lift my head toward the sun. It felt blissful.

The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing.
     He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,
     he refreshes my soul.
He guides me along the right paths
    for his name’s sake.

Psalm 23:1-3

As I was looking up towards the sun, I noticed a rather large bird in the distance. I watched it for a little while thinking it was just a hawk or something but then it got substantially closer, to where it was circling right above my head and I realised it was an eagle. 

I don't remember seeing one quite like this before. The way it just silently glided through the sky was quite mesmerising. I was pretty blown away! 

Even youths grow tired and weary,
    and young men stumble and fall;
 but those who hope in the Lord
    will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
    they will run and not grow weary,
    they will walk and not be faint.

Isaiah 40:30-31

After a short time relaxing, I decided I should probably move on because I wasn't sure what time the sun would be setting. I walked towards the stairs you can see in the picture above, the snow there was much deeper than it looked and the bottom half of the stairs was engulfed in snow. I realised I probably shouldn't have decided to do that but, too late! As I was out of the danger zone, I saw a sign saying 'Do you have all of your belongings?' Always a good question. I turned around to check that I did and in the distance, saw my trusty companion to every journey - my purple water bottle sitting on the bench I had been sat at. Chaos ensued in my head as I debated whether it was worth climbing back down those stairs for something so easily replaceable yet so handy. In the end, I decided to leave it thinking that if anyone took that path, they may retrieve it and we could have a beautiful reunion. 

 On with the journey. I had a map with me and felt overly confident in my ability to navigate but thought there wasn't much chance of me getting lost because my trail was only about 1.5 miles. I started to follow the path down hill after seeing a sign for the trail I was looking for. I kept walking and then came to an area which looked like it had never seen a trail before. I stopped to look around but couldn't see a sign anywhere that would point me in the right direction. Everything sort of looked the same. I started to panic slightly knowing that I had walked a fair way from the lake, had no cell phone on me  and didn't know when the sun would go down. I started to climb back up the hill through trees and branches, ducking and climbing, trying not to slip. I reached a clearing and found a big hill that looked fairly dry and I just started to run. By this point I was envisioning bears. Lots of bears. Big, huge scary bears who would eat me. Then I realised, if I were truly lost - someone would see my water bottle, my saving grace, and would find this lost, terrible map reader and rescue her. As I reached the top of the hill, I bumped into someone else from the retreat who seemed to be having the time of her life so I realised that I wasn't really lost at all. I just have a wild imagination. She encouraged me to head back and pick up my waterbottle because it matched my jumper so well. Following this logic, I took her advice and attempted the stairs once more:

Target's finest waterbottle.

Now I was back on the path I knew and loved and was able to get back to the center. I stumbled upon a friend and a cute rabbit in the nature center who 'liked to have her nose petted.' She loved that nose rubbing.

The end of an adventurous day!

We also entered daylight savings time so lost an hour of sleep which is never what you want to hear when you're still playing a game at 12:30am and breakfast is at 8am. 

To conclude, I often find that I get more out of weekends like this one when I'm wandering around outside by myself but I did really enjoy my time there with everyone else. We focussed on beauty, how we were each created uniquely, born with gifts and talents that show our attractiveness not solely based on our outward appearance. We talked about ways to let go of our fears and strongholds and move forwards in the truth that we have a beautiful creator and we are made to reflect Him, no matter what words may have been spoken over us. We also ate WAY too many snacks. But, who the heck cares. We are women and we love to snack.  

Read More

'I've got some new socks!'

Today I went to the park. It turned out to be a very lovely day, made complete by the return of the British Summer which is always nice because our nation are happy when that happens. Whilst we were sat in the giant sandpit, a random child came up to me to tell me he had some new socks. For him, this was really exciting news. This is what I love about children. To them, everything is so exciting. I love it when kids say 'oh wow!' to absolutely everything. There's something so refreshing about it. When I was wandering through Halifax the other day, I heard a kid shouting that he was going on an adventure. I remember thinking it was probably just a trip to a shop he liked or something, but to him it was a big expedition. I love that. 


When we were in Arizona, I experienced a moment that I don't think I will forget. We went to Kitt Peak, to observe the stars and one of the guys there was called Geronimo. What an incredible name, that guy was destined for greatness. He was self taught, and hands down, one of the most passionate people I have ever met. I remember a moment where we were all stood outside with our star maps looking up at the sky when all of a sudden this burst of joy came out so loud that I physically jumped and let out a little yelp. Geronimo saw a shooting star. I can't describe his excitement, at a site he must see most days of his life. But there was something so special about that.


The Bible talks about having Child Like Faith. I thought these little anecdotes painted a nice little picture of that. The more we learn about the world, the more we see evil everywhere. We see mindless killings, slavery, trafficking, abuse, the list goes on. The more we see of this, the less faith we have in the world and the more cynical we become. Especially with British humour - if you were as excited as Geronimo about everything in life - jokes would be circulated about you via text message. People would not want to sit next to you on a train or bus and people would avoid you at lunch time. Sadly, we are just too polite for all this enthusiasm nonsense. 




But should we be? 


As Christians, we carry this incredible hope that one day we will be welcomed into the arms of a God who knew every hair on our heads as he formed us before we were born. A God who watched over every decision we ever made and who carved out a path for us that would offer us this hope, and a bright future. He has offered us unconditional love and unmerited Grace. He offers forgiveness and freedom from fear. It doesn't stop at me having all that good stuff and keeping it to myself. It is my job to share that with people that I meet - mercy, forgiveness, love, grace, patience, kindess, joy, hope. How can we do that if we have lost the amazement in the small things that God does? When was your last 'oh wow!' moment? 


I can tell you, I had a few today.

This was one of them

"Jesus called a little child to him and stood the child before his followers. Then he said, "I tell you the truth, you must change and become like little children. Otherwise, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. The greatest person in the kingdom of heaven is the one who makes himself humble like this child." Matthew 18:2-4

Children trust, children explore, adventure and are excited by pretty much anything (even socks). They don't have this politeness problem, they tell it like it is without holding back. They are exciting to be around and they learn new things everyday. Are we like this? Do we have regular moments where we stand back in amazement about something we see? Do we appreciate small things as well as big things? I hope we can all learn to be better adventurers on this exciting journey called life. 

Much love xxx

Read More