I really LOVE receiving post. I know exactly what time the postman is supposed to arrive at my door and if I am at home I will watch the clock until I hear that old familiar clatter of letters and parcels every day. (I can imagine that's what it feels like to be a dog waiting for the newspaper.) I guess that's one of the perks to shopping online because it takes a few clicks and I often forget I've even sent off for whatever it is so it works out as a lovely surprise. I've always preferred catching up with people via pretty notecards and postcards however in order to be an effective pen pal, the recipient is expected to reply. *hint hint* I just think it's always nice to have something to wait for, something that doesn't arrive in an instant. It takes time to sit and reply and to reflect on what has actually happened in your week in order to fill a card with information and questions to keep your conversation going. Why am I rambling on about this?
There has been one piece of post in particular that I have been eagerly awaiting, which was kind of annoying because it had a 10-14 working day delivery estimate. Everyday, I was hoping it would arrive and today it finally did! I realise I am building this up to something that is sure to disappoint you...it's not a time machine or the Cath Kidston dress that I've been coveting for weeks. It is in fact, a book.
I saw it when I was looking for something else on Amazon and read the description. Straight away, I knew this woman was my kinda gal. I started reading it this evening and can confirm my early suspicions. I love it. I've only read a chapter and a half so far, so I know i'm merely on the cusp of her message but I already feel inspired. She first describes the pain of loss in her life and her reaction to blame God. She then states how one day, that all changed when she had a revelation.
I want to first share her picture of our human dissatisfaction. For this, she takes it back to the Garden of Eden:
'But in the beginning, our eyes were already open. Our site was perfect. Our vision let us see a world spilling with goodness. Our eyes fell on nothing but the glory of God. We saw God as He truly is: good. But we were lured by the deception that there was more to a full life, there was more to see. And, true, there was more to see: the ugliness we hadn't beheld, the sinfulness we hadn't witnessed, the loss we hadn't known.'
It's interesting, this. The thought that our dissatisfaction is part of our human nature. Of course, this is also a picture of us knowing better than God. We humans could have seen God in all His glory and accepted Him as He is and would have been grateful, but we would all have given in to the temptation of 'there must be something more.' Now, don't get me wrong - I am NOT saying there is anything wrong with ambition. I think ambition is good and is necessary to help us grow as people, but there has to be a limit. You only have to look at people chasing fame, they will seemingly do anything to get on TV, to become known by everyone - they want more and more until all of a sudden it becomes too much and they become empty. They could never be satisfied with what they had so they hungered for more and found nothing. They can't go to a coffee shop whenever they feel like it because they get chased by the paparazzi. They can't put on a few extra pounds because that sparks pregnancy rumours. They can't lose any pounds because then they have an eating disorder. They can't spend time with a friend because they might sell gossip to a magazine. Who can they trust? Where can they go?
This season of my life has been full of challenges. I've let go of fears, thoughts that I need to plan out my entire life, the 'what if I make the wrong decision?' doubts. I've found hope that if I keep knocking - the right door will open. I've done the waiting, the filling in of applications, the asking for help, the meeting new people but by far my favourite lesson - living in the here and now. You see, anything can happen tomorrow. We can't worry about that - what do we have today? What can we be thankful for, what can we be moved by, what can we appreciate right here and now? This is where I link back to my new book. We need to be satisfied with what we have today. It's ok to want things, like I wanted my post (an abnormal amount! ha.) Or like I want a job and my own place, a relationship, children. But I also want to be grateful and thankful for what I have NOW.
It's easy to be dissatisfied when we think our lives are boring. The key is this, as written by Christine Caine (my hero of the moment):
'We must begin to value our seemingly mundane lives and routines, understanding that each day God has opportunities waiting for us to meet the needs of others.'
I love this! It gives me hope that in my unemployed state, I still have a purpose! I still have lives to impact, people to meet, serve, love and befriend. I've been involved in all sorts, i've been busy building new friendships and restoring old ones. I've had time to rest and to read. I've watched on average one movie every day for as long as I can remember. I've been stirred up as I've researched things such as Human Trafficking (as you may have noticed!) I've been motivated to DO something. I have found joy in not knowing what tomorrow may bring and gratitude for what I have received today.
Back to my book again.
'The only place we need see before we die is this place of seeing God, here and now. I whisper it out loud, let the tongue feel these sounds, the ear hear their truth.'
Previous to this she unpacks the word 'Eucharist' from it's Greek root and it becomes...
'Charis - Grace.
Eucharisteo - Thanksgiving.
Chara - Joy. [these are described by her as a 'threefold cord...that might make up the meaning of everything]'
Is that what we need to be satisfied? Grace, from God that our mistakes are forgiven and we can have LIFE, thanks for all the wonderful things we are given, the people in our lives, the things that we love and joy in all circumstances? I think so. I guess it all seems so simple, which is maybe why we can't grasp it. I think it is a daily battle to be satisfied. I will admit now; I have about 6 beautiful handbags that I can switch between when I feel like a change. I go to Cath Kidston (she's had a double mention today!) and I'll see a new print or a new style and I want it. Forget the 5 I already have, I want that one, I need that one. Do I? No. I could think, 'Sarah, you already have more than the average person when it comes to handbags - why not be glad for what you have?' I could even think, what about the people in my country, my county, my town who might have to live off £20 a week. Who can't get on to the benefits system, who can't get work, who can't switch their heating on, who are brought here against their will and forced to do things they don't want to do. Then it all becomes insignificant. What I should think is - look at what I HAVE! It's more than I need, more than I deserve so how can I share it?
A few things I was thankful for today were these views:
I want to live a life thankful not just for things (that let's be real - in the grand scheme of things, I don't need) but for purpose, potential and the gifts I have been given that can be used to bless others. I am grateful for the beauty that is around me, the way that God shows off with sites such as the above images and for the relationships I have that I couldn't POSSIBLY do life without. I love ya!
Much Love xxx
