In which we run fully clothed into a fountain.

These words have been stalking me recently. Well, for the past year actually. For months, I have read them day in, day out wondering if I will ever put them back into practice. When I was at University, I did this a lot. My sense of adventure and excitement for spontaneity were alive and well. It didn't matter that we travelled for 8 hours down to the opposite end of the country to watch a one hour concert on the beach. Nor did it really matter that we arrived home from London at 2am to find the entire contents of our bedrooms switched around with someone else. We celebrated engagements, birthdays, jubilees, Christmas and 2-4-1 cocktails on a Thursday evening. We had weekends away, trips to the beach, journeys to the supermarket after midnight (rebellion at it's best.) We spent every night in the garden drinking cider and having BBQ's with our neighbours. We spent an entire day filling a paddling pool with water and all sat in it, just the once. We didn't really have a reason to fear the future, we were having too much fun! We were too busy enjoying the moment, making the most of where we were, because we knew that it wouldn't last forever. Those three years were for staying up until 4am most nights talking about goodness knows what, to adventure, to learn and experience, to find ourselves before the real world hit. No responsibilities, enjoying our independence. Those amazing years came and went so quickly that it already feels like a distant memory. 

I wasn't prepared for the job market to be as it has been. I have made so many plans based on 'if I get this job, I can...' or 'I'll be able to...' only to be turned down because I don't have enough experience. So, back to the drawing board. I've had a year of 'what will you do next?' 'Where will you go?' 'Why don't you move?' 'Do you really want that job?' 'Have you tried this, or that?' Truth be told, these questions have not made my life any easier! I have explored so many avenues to get where I want to be yet sometimes it feels like I am no closer. I have no answers, because I have no clue what's going on here! 

'She laughs without fear of the future...'

^

You may have gathered by now, that I have not done a lot of that lately. I recently attended a conference that focussed a lot on this. The masks that some of us hide behind; inadequacy, victim, perfection. Our constant battle to be 'worry free' when actually, a certain level of worry is both necessary and healthy - when we gain control of it. I learnt a lot that day. I realised how afraid I feel of making the wrong decision because I feel so lost. What if I regret this? What if I don't do this and wish I had? But a better question I needed to ask myself was this; when was the last time that I didn't feel afraid? 

It all hit me, one sunny day with a friend. You see, the weather has been driving England crazy lately. I know that we are infamous for moaning CONSTANTLY about the weather, but the problem is that it's so unpredictable that we are unprepared for everything. Snow, sun, rain, fog. We don't get enough of one weather type to make proper precautions so instead we just moan. It's never just right. We have had about a month of sunshine. Today, for the first time in as long as I can remember, I took a coat out with me, not only that, but an umbrella. Our homes and many of our shops, restaurants and cafés are not air conditioned, so we have all had to buy fans to prevent us from melting. Nobody is sleeping. But now the rain has started again, everybody is moaning because THE SUN HAS GONE. 

I digress. One fine day a couple of weeks ago, I was sat with a friend eating an ice-cream whilst we dipped our toes in a pool of water in the centre of Bradford. It was so hot that dipping our toes simply wasn't cutting the mustard. There were kids running through the fountains, splashing around in swimming costumes. So were there parents. I couldn't watch it, it was just torture - everything within me wanted to just run in there, regardless of the fact that I was fully clothed. So, we discussed this pickle in which we found ourselves and decided to drop off our belongings and my friends house and go back to the water to walk around in it. My friend was able to change into more sensible clothes, whereas I did not come prepared for this. We left our shoes with a random family and walked into the water:

photo credit

But that wasn't enough. There was a huge fountain spraying out in the middle that people were running through. We saw a guy run through it and I thought he didn't actually look that wet. So, we had to do it too. We ran. We got drenched. We LAUGHED. We laid down in the water, enjoying the sun for a while, in between a splash fight with a small child and another run through the giant fountain. I didn't care that I had mascara all down my face. I didn't care that my hair was dripping wet. I didn't care that we were walking through a busy city centre soaking wet. I didn't even care that I didn't have a change of clothes and I had to go home on the train.

I didn't CARE about the consequences, because I wanted to enjoy the moment. Not just dip my toes in whilst watching everyone else have fun, but to run into the fountain, fully clothed with my eyes closed. It was so liberating! Though to you, this may seem like nothing - for me it was a wake up call. I have been so caught up, worrying about which road to go down when really, I don't need to. I have allowed my worry to rob me of my JOY. This is not how it should be! 

'For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.' 2 Tim 1:7

Whatever road I go down, I will be challenged, blessed and tested. I cannot spend my days waiting for tomorrow to find joy in today. I must FULLY live now - it is a choice! I have to take steps into the un-known, not knowing what might be ahead of me and live it, do it and experience it. None of us know what tomorrow holds, but we CAN choose whether we will allow worry to rob us of our joy or if we will allow joy to eliminate our worry.

Much Love xxx

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Happy Easter!

Happy Easter Everyone, I hope you have a wonderful day! Today I had the privilege of hearing 4 incredible testimonies of how God has and is transforming the lives of ordinary people with less than perfect pasts. Just like He did with me. Plus I am about to have a roast dinner. 

Much Love xxx 

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Townstock.

This week, I was privileged to help out at an utterly inspirational conference in my local town. Before I had even heard of this conference, I'd been getting these random bursts (check my twitter) of just loving my town and my county. Everyone who met me when I lived in Chester will know how passionate I was about Yorkshire simply because I would bang on about it constantly because I always had a deep yearning to be there. Every time I had a reading week, I would just be so happy to revel in its hills, quirks and eebygums. I missed it. Now that I am back, I am seeing my home with fresh eyes and I am genuinely so excited to be here right now.

I have been able to meet lots of new people, from all walks of life who are running such incredible projects that have been motivated by this same love I feel. I've met people who appreciate everything Halifax and it's surrounding areas have, and they've noticed that it's no longer helpful to moan about our out of touch government doing nothing for us - when we could just do it ourselves. One of my favourite quotes was from a speaker representing an amazing campaign we have called 'Totally Locally.' He said that 'often the people who change their town will be the ones who were born there that move away and come back.' That one hit me square in the eyes because I had wondered why everything seemed new and different! It wasn't just me!

Some of this stuff is exactly what I've been writing/thinking about over these past few months; slowing down, working together, living simply and loving the place you're at. So when I saw this - I did a little squeal of joy:

The Totally Locally 'Manifesto.'

There are so many things in life that we have lost due to the rapid growth of technology. We shop online which means we take money out of our local economy and cut out the middle man of actually talking face to face with someone in a building. We focus on big brands/big names and forget about the independent retailer down the road.We walk past empty shops in our town centres. We've stopped taking risks. These are all issues that were addressed at this conference. The Totally Locally nationwide campaign is to get us to re-invest in our local butchers, shop-keepers, greengrocers, cafés etc and we can achieve this by doing as little as spending £5 each a week in a local business. A small investment that will positively impact all of our futures. I love this movement! It's so important for organisations that have the same interests to begin to meet with each other and establish working relationships because this creates unity and a common goal. It allows us to create quote 'an US culture not a ME culture.' We need to begin to think about what we can GIVE and not GET because this will improve life for everyone.

We also heard from Dan Thompson - a great user of Twitter who gathered troops to clean up after the London riots and who now spreads the good news of Pop up shops. He said a few things that I loved too - it was all very simple and practical but sometimes those are the things we forget. He said we need to 'commit to our dreams' - if you have something that you would really LOVE to do then quote 'get out there and do it' because committing means that something will happen. I have spoken before of our fear to commit; what if it all goes wrong, what if I can't do it, what if it doesn't work the way I had hoped? Well - what if it DOES work? I was in a room full of people who had held these little dreams, that perhaps became known through a chat over a pint but were now affecting not just their own communities but in some cases - over 76 communities! Did they predict that would happen? No, probably not! One speaker had said that 'they created a monster' because their small dream grew so quickly. I found this fascinating. The sharing of these ideas inspired so many people who will have left changed - that will now I am sure, be working on making their dreams for their local area a reality. 

One noteable movement has changed a community through growing vegetables. 'Incredible Edible' was a movement that started by planting seeds that would be available for the general public to harvest and eat. It was a way of breaking barriers between neighbours and those whose paths would not normally cross and for a movement that started from growing beans it is now responsible for changing the lives and attitudes of an entire community! This idea has now spread to 37 towns and it's focus is not to grow great veg but to start a small movement that will empower the individual to make a change and positive impact for the future of others. This idea is quote 'not rocket science' but it is so inspiring!

We also heard from vInspired who are doing lots of great things to engage young people in volunteering. The speaker - Terry Ryall made some excellent points about the negative view cast upon young people by adults and said that quote 'young people are not something wrong that need to be fixed, rather they are an asset.' I did a little AMEN inside at that point. Young people are so passionate - they think first with their emotions and find it natural to speak out upon injustice, (this is what I LOVE about working with them) when this is put to positive use - their potential is great. When we see young people as an asset - we can turn them into an opportunity by asking quote 'what are YOU passionate about and how can WE take action on that?'

Some inspiring ideas that came directly from young people were found in 'Teenage Markets' in Stockport set up by Joseph Barratt (an excellent communicator) that used the creativity of its citizens to do something for and by young people. He spoke of 'collaborating and fusing generations' i.e. bringing people together to provide something new and fun for their area. I loved this idea as it put the power back into the hands of the young, young people thrive off being given responsibility and ownership - this is something we MUST invest in and encourage. 

Following on from this, I enjoyed the talk given by Adrian Bird from Halifax Opportunities Trust as he spoke to businesses about the importance of quote 'funding projects that help the young.' Not only this, but we must educate young people to understand that quote 'nearly all employment opportunities have value - the embarrassment barrier needs to be broken down.' He put forward a great suggestion that businesses and organisations should invite young people in to give them hands on experience, but also organisations should have 'a youthful workforce that they are prepared to develop.' Speaking from my own experience in my current job search - this is not happening enough!

To conclude, it seems that individuals who want to make a change in the place they live are getting up and doing it. We can't sit here just wishing things were different when we could be the ones to shake it up! I personally have been motivated to continue searching for the right job but in the meantime - this is the place I want to be. I am blessed to know some of these incredibly inspirational people and will continue to seek to help wherever I can. I would encourage you to put feet to your dreams, to get off your bum and to be the change because you never know where it might lead! 

A few questions...

- What is going on in your local area?

- Is there anything you can get involved with?

- Do you volunteer anywhere?

- What would you like to change?

- What is stopping you?

For further information on all the people/organisations I have mentioned:

- Townstock

- Totally Locally

- vInspired

- Dan Thompson

- Joseph Barratt

- Incredible Edible

- Halifax Opportunities Trust

Much Love xxx

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Thankful Thoughts.

I really LOVE receiving post. I know exactly what time the postman is supposed to arrive at my door and if I am at home I will watch the clock until I hear that old familiar clatter of letters and parcels every day. (I can imagine that's what it feels like to be a dog waiting for the newspaper.) I guess that's one of the perks to shopping online because it takes a few clicks and I often forget I've even sent off for whatever it is so it works out as a lovely surprise. I've always preferred catching up with people via pretty notecards and postcards however in order to be an effective pen pal, the recipient is expected to reply. *hint hint* I just think it's always nice to have something to wait for, something that doesn't arrive in an instant. It takes time to sit and reply and to reflect on what has actually happened in your week in order to fill a card with information and questions to keep your conversation going. Why am I rambling on about this?

There has been one piece of post in particular that I have been eagerly awaiting, which was kind of annoying because it had a 10-14 working day delivery estimate. Everyday, I was hoping it would arrive and today it finally did! I realise I am building this up to something that is sure to disappoint you...it's not a time machine or the Cath Kidston dress that I've been coveting for weeks. It is in fact, a book.

I saw it when I was looking for something else on Amazon and read the description. Straight away,  I knew this woman was my kinda gal. I started reading it this evening and can confirm my early suspicions. I love it. I've only read a chapter and a half so far, so I know i'm merely on the cusp of her message but I already feel inspired. She first describes the pain of loss in her life and her reaction to blame God. She then states how one day, that all changed when she had a revelation.

I want to first share her picture of our human dissatisfaction. For this, she takes it back to the Garden of Eden:

'But in the beginning, our eyes were already open. Our site was perfect. Our vision let us see a world spilling with goodness. Our eyes fell on nothing but the glory of God. We saw God as He truly is: good. But we were lured by the deception that there was more to a full life, there was more to see. And, true, there was more to see: the ugliness we hadn't beheld, the sinfulness we hadn't witnessed, the loss we hadn't known.'

It's interesting, this. The thought that our dissatisfaction is part of our human nature. Of course, this is also a picture of us knowing better than God. We humans could have seen God in all His glory and accepted Him as He is and would have been grateful, but we would all have given in to the temptation of 'there must be something more.' Now, don't get me wrong - I am NOT saying there is anything wrong with ambition. I think ambition is good and is necessary to help us grow as people, but there has to be a limit. You only have to look at people chasing fame, they will seemingly do anything to get on TV, to become known by everyone - they want more and more until all of a sudden it becomes too much and they become empty. They could never be satisfied with what they had so they hungered for more and found nothing. They can't go to a coffee shop whenever they feel like it because they get chased by the paparazzi. They can't put on a few extra pounds because that sparks pregnancy rumours. They can't lose any pounds because then they have an eating disorder. They can't spend time with a friend because they might sell gossip to a magazine. Who can they trust? Where can they go?

This season of my life has been full of challenges. I've let go of fears, thoughts that I need to plan out my entire life, the 'what if I make the wrong decision?' doubts. I've found hope that if I keep knocking - the right door will open. I've done the waiting, the filling in of applications, the asking for help, the meeting new people but by far my favourite lesson - living in the here and now. You see, anything can happen tomorrow. We can't worry about that - what do we have today? What can we be thankful for, what can we be moved by, what can we appreciate right here and now?  This is where I link back to my new book. We need to be satisfied with what we have today. It's ok to want things, like I wanted my post (an abnormal amount! ha.) Or like I want a job and my own place, a relationship, children. But I also want to be grateful and thankful for what I have NOW. 

It's easy to be dissatisfied when we think our lives are boring. The key is this, as written by Christine Caine (my hero of the moment):

'We must begin to value our seemingly mundane lives and routines, understanding that each day God has opportunities waiting for us to meet the needs of others.'

I love this! It gives me hope that in my unemployed state, I still have a purpose! I still have lives to impact, people to meet, serve, love and befriend. I've been involved in all sorts, i've been busy building new friendships and restoring old ones. I've had time to rest and to read. I've watched on average one movie every day for as long as I can remember. I've been stirred up as I've researched things such as Human Trafficking (as you may have noticed!) I've been motivated to DO something. I have found joy in not knowing what tomorrow may bring and gratitude for what I have received today. 

Back to my book again. 

'The only place we need see before we die is this place of seeing God, here and now. I whisper it out loud, let the tongue feel these sounds, the ear hear their truth.' 

Previous to this she unpacks the word 'Eucharist' from it's Greek root and it becomes...

'Charis - Grace.

 Eucharisteo - Thanksgiving.

 Chara - Joy. [these are described by her as a 'threefold cord...that might make up the meaning of everything]'

Is that what we need to be satisfied? Grace, from God that our mistakes are forgiven and we can have LIFE, thanks for all the wonderful things we are given, the people in our lives, the things that we love and joy in all circumstances? I think so. I guess it all seems so simple, which is maybe why we can't grasp it. I think it is a daily battle to be satisfied. I will admit now; I have about 6 beautiful handbags that I can switch between when I feel like a change. I go to Cath Kidston (she's had a double mention today!) and I'll see a new print or a new style and I want it. Forget the 5 I already have, I want that one, I need that one. Do I? No. I could think, 'Sarah, you already have more than the average person when it comes to handbags - why not be glad for what you have?' I could even think, what about the people in my country, my county, my town who might have to live off £20 a week. Who can't get on to the benefits system, who can't get work, who can't switch their heating on, who are brought here against their will and forced to do things they don't want to do. Then it all becomes insignificant. What I should think is - look at what I HAVE! It's more than I need, more than I deserve so how can I share it?

A few things I was thankful for today were these views:

I want to live a life thankful not just for things (that let's be real - in the grand scheme of things, I don't need) but for purpose, potential and the gifts I have been given that can be used to bless others. I am grateful for the beauty that is around me, the way that God shows off with sites such as the above images and for the relationships I have that I couldn't POSSIBLY do life without. I love ya!

Much Love xxx

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