On restoring our space.

I know there's a common message about January, that it lasts about 234,857 days, but for me, this month has flown by. As I said previously, we were working on rearranging the house & it finally feels like that project is about completed. It's funny with things like this, you really see your true personalities coming out. I learnt again that I just want to push really hard & get it all done as soon as possible, & Tom has a much more laid back/last minute (!) approach, which about partway through the project caused us to pause, re-group & come up with a plan to power through. It was so hard to know what to do first because in-between caring for Finn & taking him to classes, Tom working full-time, me working part-time & the rest of the everyday house jobs needing to be done, it was a LOT to manage! Every room in the house felt chaotic to me because there were boxes, bags, clothes, toys & everything else everywhere.
Given that we now have lots of extra toys/clothes/blankets, and all the other "stuff" that comes with a baby in the house, we soon realised we just didn't have enough storage, so that was what we focussed on. We only painted one room, & we decided after originally prepping the small room as Finn's room that it wouldn't be big enough for him, so we did all the work of getting the bigger bedroom ready for him to move into in a few months now before we have a crawler on our hands!! We have now created a small office space & will soon move our beloved changing table away so we can free up the rest of the office room to store other things. I've been going out finding cheap storage options & found some underbed storage bags that are HUGE in Lidl along with other plastic boxes so we can stack everything away in cupboards & get them out when needed. I also found some really cheap hanging storage which we can use for his baby toiletries by the new changing station that sits on a chest of drawers & another will go downstairs somewhere, probably in the kitchen! It just feels a lot more like we know where everything is now & there's a better sense of order. 

My new favourite space in the house is our little corner in the living room by the window with this beautiful rocking chair so I can sit & read there. Full disclosure, our clothes airer has become a bit of a permnanent fixture just next it because at the moment it feels like a never-ending task to stay on top of that! Whilst Tom was building new furniture, I was listing the old stuff online & we did really well to shift everything. Tom did several trips to the recycling centre to take all the cardboard & I did some charity shop runs & still have a few bags ready to go. I recently saw an idea to put numbers 1-30 on separate pieces of paper & put them in a jar - you pick a number out each day & whatever number you choose is the number of things you need to giveaway/donate. I'm going to try that for February; it can be anything as small as a book, a t-shirt, anything you no longer need. I might not be able to donate that number of things, but I think it will give me a good thing to focus on & will help us continue to declutter. Alongside that, I'm going to have a "no online shopping" month. I found that whilst I took a break from social media I ended up opening more emails from different places advertising sales - so I definitely need to kick that habit! I have actually had a number of hiccups with items getting delivered anyway; I am fairly certain that Evri took on a bad driver & my parcel was stolen (I know it wasn't our usual driver because I saw him the today & asked him about it!) & I have a feeling I'm about to get stung on something we needed for Finn because I didn't realise the shop didn't send all their products directly & I've had it before where some companies won't ship to NI from Mainland UK but no-one ever makes that clear. 

For Finn's new room we chose the colour "Nordic Sky" & after seeing lots of winter clothes in the arctic animal theme (which I am SO excited for him to wear!), I found some of the cutest wall stickers to put in places that Finn can see them. I have cried several times throughout this process as I think about how fast time is going (he is 4 months next week!), how quickly he is growing & how he's changing all the time. It's so exciting to see his personality coming out & we loved creating this space for him but I'm sure like every parent, a part of me wants him to stay this little forever! I have just started taking him to the swimming pool as he seems to take after me & is a water baby so I really want to encourage that. I also shed a tear the first time I took him there! For the first few months of taking Finn out, I/we had only been staying fairly local so didn't take loads of things with us but as we are going out more often & for longer, I decided to finally invest in a "mum" backpack which has 18 pockets & is the best thing ever! It fits all our swimming gear & bottles/flasks & everything else we could possibly need! I found it on Amazon (I know not everyone agrees with this!) & it was 20% off but is really good quality.

Doing all this work helped me to see that ultimately with whatever project I come up with, I am always seeking peace. That is why the word "Shalom" is at the centre of our home. I really believe that a peaceful home makes for a more peaceful life & to me it just feels better to have some sense of order about the place. Of course, having toys laying around & the laundry hanging are the things that make it lived in so I hope it will always have that balance. I've noticed lately that when I take Finn out he is so much quieter than when he's at home which shows me this is the place he feels safe & comfortable, so we must be doing something right! 

This weekend I am taking a whole day to myself to go off to the big smoke - I've only had one day on my own since Finn was born that was just for me & that was cut short because I was so worried about getting out of the house quickly before he woke up that I forgot my phone! I keep planning all the shops I'll browse & how many coffee shops it's reasonable to visit in one day. For now, Finn has woken up from his morning nap, the laundry is calling & soon he will be hungry again!

Much love x 

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On finding our place.

I can't believe it's coming up to four years since I moved to NI. The amount that has happened in that time, both good & bad, is impossible to quantify! Having moved around a few times, I've learnt that there are certain things I need to have in place before somewhere truly feels like "home." I'm sure this list would be different for everyone, but it dawned on me this week that I do feel like I've finally found my feet here, particularly in the village we have lived in for almost a year. 

Walking is truly one of my favourite pastimes, not only is it the best way to get to know a place, but I find it helps you notice the seasons more as you watch the colours changing. And now I have a buddy with me! I take Finn on walks as often as I can because it is so good for us both to get out for some fresh air. It's the best time for me to clear my mind & he usually falls asleep as he loves the white noise & being cosy in his pram. We went down the road one day this week & that is what inspired this post. As we set off, we saw our neighbour coming back from a dog walk & he warned me it was a bit wild by the seafront. We also waved at a fellow regular baby-walker (I think he's a grandad) who always wears a flourescent yellow jacket whilst speed-walking with his pram & goes out at a similar time to me. We saw Tom's Nana's knitting friend who likes to look out for Finn as we walk past her house most days & she regularly hears about him & we waved at one of two delivery drivers who love to chat to us when they drop parcels off. The one who I know a bit better asked me this week if & when Finn would be getting a sibling!! Once we got home, I sat & thought about how nice it is to walk around & feel like you know people in your area. For this reason, a regular walking spot is definitely something I need in "my place." 

I have a few different walks that I used to do most weekends by myself as Tom is usually working but I'm only just starting to feel brave enough to do those by myself with Finn. It's a lot to get used to all the extra things you need to take with you & I like to go out as soon as he's finished a feed because that gives me maximum time to relax & enjoy the walk & usually a coffee. Funnily enough, most of my favourite walks end up in a good coffee shop, which I'll talk about more below. But, if you're ever in the area, these are my favourites: 

Bridewell Coffee - Donaghadee // Firebox - Ballywalter // Haptik - Newtownards // Copeland Distillery - Donaghadee // Joxer - Bangor // Lekker - Greyabbey

It will be unsurprising for many who know me, but finding the right 'regular' coffee shop is an absolute must. I was recently thinking about the coffee shop back home that we spent half of our teenage years in - it was always our meeting point & we spent every Saturday in there for years, plus at some point nearly all my friends worked there, including myself. They did such a good chicken & pesto mayo sandwich that I need to recreate! Since then, I've not really had my regular spot. But I stumbled upon one recently (pictured above & below) that I went to with a visiting friend & just knew it was the one. It's pretty tiny but it has a gorgeous view, lovely coffee & locally made treats plus a nice little walk around the grounds that we can enjoy afterwards. We had a visit there yesterday & it was such a sweet little trip where Finn fell asleep so I enjoyed a hot coffee in peace.

There are lots of other things that I think make a place feel like home. I am not really one for getting 'pampered,' but I do love getting my nails done & had my favourite spot in Yorkshire that I loved going to for different treatments. I've been looking for the right place for a while & have finally found someone who is local & does my nails how I like them. She is very reasonably priced & getting my nails done is one of the only times I go out in an evening these days so it's something I want to keep up with when I can a few times a year. I just went recently & decided to go super girly with pink & a glitter top! 

I mentioned in the last post that we are busy making changes in our home to make it more functional. A few different things arrived this week so we are almost ready to start the re-arranging. We need to choose a paint colour for the only room we are painting & then we can start building the furniture. I was able to shift a lot of our other things through Marketplace which has freed up some space & then this week I plan on going to a couple of my favourite charity shops to drop off some donations. I've never used Vinted but I want to sit & put some baby clothes on there & see how that goes! We've just put down the classic foam tiles so Finn can test out tummy-time & laying on his back on there. I bought them before he was born because they were on offer (!) but the health visitor came this week & said he is definitely ready to roll (at 3 months!) so we want to give him a comfortable space to test that out. I ordered one new print with a quote that I have loved for many years & found the cutest design from Violet & Alfie via Etsy (they were all discounted!) so I am excited to find a frame for that & add it to the corner of the living room that I'm imagining will be a bit of a reading nook. 

This week has been a much better pace for me than the weeks that preceeded & I am definitely starting to feel more on top of things. I've enjoyed being back in the kitchen because I've hardly cooked lately so this week I wrote a big list & went out to do the food shop whilst Tom was at home with Finn. It feels like forever since I had a meal plan but this week I made Tom's favourite 'fruity curry,' a beef hotpot & I've put our favourite BBQ pulled chicken in the slow cooker for tonight. We've had some lovely walks but taken it easy after Finn had his 2nd vaccinations this week. I started taking vitamins again & feel like I have more energy, plus it helped me finally kick my sore throat post-Covid! Everything just feels a lot more peaceful, something which I hope will continue for as long as possible. 

Much love xx 

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My day in cups of tea.

My first confession is that this theme is taken straight from a regular feature in my favourite magazine, The Simple Things. I always enjoy reading about how other people live their days & I have been watching a bit more YouTube recently which has probably also inspired this post. I have seen various 'vlogs' or 'vlogmas' series' but some of it goes a little bit too far for me in terms of oversharing! I was watching someone recently who has a baby a month or so older than mine but she shares a daily vlog - I can only imagine how much harder everything is if she is having to film & edit every day - not something I'd like to spend my time doing! But I have taken a break from social media for a while & felt myself drawn to writing again because it is more of an outlet for me & feels like a better use of my time than constant scrolling. I've been thinking too about how much Finn might see me pick up my phone throughout the day & I don't want him to think me sitting on my phone is more important to me than his needs.

I chose to share my day in cups of tea today because we are about to start a new routine. From next week, I will be returning to work part-time but working from home. We have also just begun to re-surface after Covid entered the house, so we had an extended Christmas break with the three of us at home. Upto now we have left things fairly relaxed with the baby & a natural rhythm has emerged. But as we are on the cusp of teething & potentially sleep regression, we thought we would try bring a greater sense of routine to our days in the hope that it would benefit us all. We are all night owls which is a bit unfortunate so we are going to start with bedtime by trialling putting Finn to bed & watching him on the monitor, followed by an earlier bedtime for us to help us get more organised in the morning. So, here goes...

9amOur day started at 3am today as Finn woke up & was hungry. For some reason, he woke up several times before that wanting his dummy back so I had a pretty disturbed night up to that point. Tom did the nightfeed & then we all got back to sleep until about 8am. After feeding, changing & dressing him, I put Finn in his beloved bouncer whilst I made my first coffee of the day. My pod machine was a Christmas gift after I'd had a Nespresso machine before & switched but then I missed it! So I got out my old favourite cup which I used to use every morning when I left the house at 7am to commute to Belfast. How I don't miss those days! Anywho, today was the first time I took Finn to a baby massage class so it was a hectic morning getting everything ready. By the time we had arrived he was fast asleep and didn't wake up until nearly the end of the class, so he only got a very brief bit of massage on one leg! After this I went to pick up a prescription and we had a quick walk along the sea front. Quick being the operative word as it was so windy! 

11:30am

We returned home & I hoped I'd have chance to grab my breakfast after just having a banana before we left. Of course, I took one mouthful of cereal & Finn decided he was hungry again too! I'd just boiled the kettle ready for a cup of tea so I got to sit down & enjoy that after feeding Finn. 

We did used to have a daily contact nap but Finn didn't seem to want that anymore until yesterday when I was stood up bouncing him & he fell fast asleep on me. To my surprise, he did the same thing this afternoon & has stayed asleep which has given me the chance to sit & start this post! Whilst he was sleeping it gave me chance to catch up on some TV; I finished up the new series of Emily in Paris, watched the 1st episode of series two of Love Life (Netflix) & the 1st episode of The Great Pottery Throw Down (Channel 4). 

After I put Finn down to continue his nap, I decided it was time to put some of our decorations back up. I took down all the festive ones right after Christmas, but haven't replaced them yet with our usual things so everything looks a bit bare at the moment! We are in the midst of making some big changes to the layout of the house to create a home office space & move Finn into the bigger bedroom so we will be painting & building lots of furniture! We collected a 2nd hand daybed yesterday & have been selling bits of our furniture that we won't need anymore along the way to clear space. I've been searching the sales & found some really good bargains, most of which arrive tomorrow so that will keep Tom busy as he is the builder of things!! Overall, we need everything to be more functional for us & now seemed a good time to do it before Finn is walking about. Whilst doing my other daily jobs in the house, like cleaning the bathroom or food prep, I've been listening to "Just One Thing - with Michael Mosley," which is an interesting podcast that talks about small changes you could make in life. I've also been listening to "All in the Mind," from BBC Radio 4. 

7pm

As part of our new routine, we are trying out a bath, bottle, bed approach. Finn absolutely LOVES the bath & kicks like crazy when he's in there! I bought a Nuby watering can for the bath & as soon as he sees it he gets so excited. He has very sensitive skin like I do & we've found the best stuff for him is Child's Farm. It can be quite expensive (I always buy it on offer!) but it lasts ages. The scents are all gorgeous & the nappy cream really works. I sit & write this section at 9.30pm where Finn has been asleep now for a good hour & we are sat intently watching him on the monitor & missing him! But, given that he's already having a good rest, we know a routine is what he needs. P.s. I'm now on the decaf!

 

10pm 

I became quite fixated on skincare when I was pregnant & that has become an important part of my daily routine. I'm sure there should be some stuff that would be better done in the morning, but I like to think it will all sink into my skin overnight. I always go to the Boots sale at Christmas & this year I managed to find some nice sets of No7 skincare so I've been using that. I also found the 'Glow' facial brush which is a good exfoliator for me so I've been using that every day too. I got a free pot of Weleda Body Butter with my magazine subscription & it works so well for my skin. As does the Child's Farm handcream which I got free with an order from Boots.

I've also been trying to read again & always compile a small list throughout the year to pop on my Christmas list. I have a good pile now to work my way through, so when time allows I have been diving back into reading. After reading his previous book; "The Diary of a Bookseller," I asked for the follow up title by Shaun Bythell and have been working my way through that. It's a small book so I'm sure it won't take me long! 

Overall, it has been a busy but productive Monday for me! In between Finn's naps, I had to sort out various appointments that start up again this week like his next Health Visitor appointment & vaccinations. It was so nice to have a break from all that during Christmas but the house visits should get less frequent now. The rest of the week will be a similar level of activity but will be my last week at home just Finny & me before things change again. I'm so grateful that I can still be at home with him & he can spend a bit more time with his daddy & other family. 

Thanks for reading xo

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On preparing for change.

And just like that, our first Christmas as a 'three' has come and gone. Plus, my first birthday as a mummy! We had a wonderful, albeit busy, time with family visiting from England and it was special to celebrate it together as it was the first Christmas without our Gran. We have already taken down the decorations so we can spend the next few days quietly resting. Which is now more important than it was a few days ago as we have both been struck with whatever virus is going round & we are trying to protect the baby from catching any form of it. As we look ahead to a new year, I always like to take time out to reflect and to think about what is to come, so this seemed like the perfect time to do that. 

For us, 2022 was the year that gave and took away. We found out early on that I was pregnant so that of course changed the trajectory of everything. I remember sitting down the first week of January getting so organised, writing goals |& thinking of what I wanted to achieve, only to throw them out the window two weeks later. From then, I ended up having to change my job unexpectedly in March which was a huge cause of stress, followed by our landlord sending us a WhatsApp message (!) to say she was selling the house right after we had confirmed that we were going to stay another year. With 3 major things happening at once, it felt like everything was up in the air & I didn't know how we'd get through it. Thankfully, by the time we had our first scans and follow ups, we knew everything was fine with the baby, I settled in to my two new part-time jobs and we moved to a house much more suitable to welcome a newborn. 

The stress began to subside slightly once we had finally unpacked & settled into the house & we had our next scan to find out the gender. In the summer, we were able to travel back to England to catch-up with everyone & to have my baby shower. It was such a special time for Tom to finally be able to meet more of my family and friends & sadly it would be the last time I was able to see Gran in person. We were visiting during a heatwave, so being quite pregnant in 30+ degree heat was not an easy experience & we were pretty glad to get back to a much cooler NI! That was really our only break all year so we hope next year to be able to plan a little holiday as paternity leave did not count as rest!

As I wrote recently, Finn arrived 12 days late but he was perfect nonetheless. Since then, we have been enjoying parenthood & watching him grow & change every day. We got through his first vaccinations which I found harder than he did & his next ones are around the corner. We also had a surprise visit to A&E with him due to a high temperature but thankfully everything was fine & he handled it like a champ! Just a few weeks ago, after her quite rapid decline, we lost Gran. Navigating that loss from a distance, whilst juggling the highs & lows of motherhood & ever-changing hormones has been very challenging for me. It has been so many juxtaposing emotions at once. Such a picture of the realities of life. 

Change is on the horizon again, so I thought now would be the perfect time for me to switch off social media for a while & focus on the here & now. In a couple of weeks, I will be returning to one of my jobs, which admittedly is much sooner than I would've imagined, but it is something I have to do. I am very grateful that my employers are being so accommodating & flexible. It also gives me motivation to focus on establishing a routine with Finn & getting him used to spending time with other people. I've also signed us up to a couple of classes to join together which I think will be good for both of us. We will do everything we can to make our new routine work for us - but the stress of finances is something we don't want hanging over us any more - so as a family we are working hard to eliviate some of that. 

One of the major things I learnt about myself after having Finn was how much I love being home & making it a space that is comforting for us all & is somewhere we can thrive & feel safe. Due to that, we have decided in the new year to rearrange the house to make it more functional for all of us. I am spending time looking for furniture & paint colours that will help us create a small home office & make our spare bedroom into Finn's bedroom for when he moves into his bigger bed in a few months. This will also free up some space in our living room to make it more suitable for guests & give more room for Finn to move about in. He is growing so quickly & I really want to spend time organising his clothes & toys so it feels a bit less haphazard. We have nowhere near enough storage for all the beautiful gifts he was showered with this Christmas! I'm excited for a project to focus on, I think it will be a positive way to start the new year!

Overall, 2022 had some high highs and some low lows but as always, we come out stronger because of it. We have the excitement of watching our boy grow, learn & experience new things & the things we have been through together have brought us so much closer together as a family unit. I couldn't be more grateful to have the support that I do & to have a partner who encourages, listens, communicates, cares & loves as well as he does. Our time together is the most precious thing in the world to me right now & we will strive to find a balance that works for us this year. 

Wishing you all a very Happy New Year. Sending peace & love x

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On entering motherhood.

I've realised that however much I intend to sit down and write here, somehow months pass, or in this case - a year has passed - and it always takes me by surprise. But I went for a walk today and whilst watching the waves and clearing my mind it felt like the perfect time to jot down some thoughts. 

At the start of 2022 we learnt that I was pregnant, and although that moment was something I'd dreamed of for as long as I can remember, we couldn't believe it was real. I'm certainly not the first to say that from that moment on, life as you know it is completely different. My body was already changing and we had lots of preparations to make. What followed was a series of other huge life changes including having to switch jobs and undergo a house move. Packing and moving was incredibly stressful but we were so grateful to be in a much more suitable home for us to welcome a baby and we still live very close to the sea.

My pregnancy was pretty straightforward save for the fact that I have always really struggled with anything medical including injections/shots and up until my first hospital appointment, I'd never even had a blood test. All the things I went through following that were very hard for me mentally and I had to find my own coping mechanisms. I told all doctors/nurses/midwives not to describe what they were about to do and that seemed to help me to channel my mind to deal with the situation. At the time of birth, I had a constant supply of gas & air so that helped too! 

I went 12 days overdue (so my September baby became an October baby!) and chose to have an induction to get things moving. Although childbirth was absolutely handsdown the hardest thing I've ever done in my life, I was so grateful that I was able to have the water birth I'd hoped for. It was such a calm experience and I remember all the midwives coming in to our room in the hours that followed saying how relaxed the room was. It just all felt so meant to be. As soon as he arrived, it felt like he had always been here with us. Such a miracle. 

Finn Shepherd has changed our lives in the most wonderful way. Watching him grow, change and learn each day is such a joy. Whenever he smiles it's like nothing else in the world matters because I know he is happy. I am proud of how Tom and I have adjusted to our new addition and we've focused on giving each other what we need to refresh and keep going. For me, that looks like taking my sacred hour or so in the evening for a long hot bubble bath, usually with a podcast/audiobook/music or just silence. I also became pretty obsessed with skincare whilst I was pregnant so I like to take my time to do that nightly ritual. My walks with Finn double up as self-care for me because I love being outdoors and looking at the sea, plus it's good for my healing to get myself moving. The pram usually sends Finn to sleep so then I get some quiet time once we get back home too. I'm slowly learning to use the nap times to pick up things like crafts or reading and other times I can quickly do jobs in the house like prep a slow cooker meal, do laundry or other small things. Some days none of that is possible if Finn wants to use me as a human sofa and that's just fine by me!

I've learnt how much Tom and I both love routine and rituals and we've both naturally fallen into our own roles that help keep everything going. I think for us that's helped maintain a calm and peaceful home, but we know that Finn is the priority and the other things can wait. I've focussed on making our home as cosy as possible so we can all relax and enjoy a positive environment. I recently read "My Hygge Home" by Meik Wiking [find it here] and that gave me some great ideas about how to foster connection in the home. I have read all his books and found the concept of 'hygge' pretty transformational after I read his first book a few years ago [find it here]. I'm sure I've written about it before! 

I have felt quite protective over our newborn bubble and although we have gone on trips the three of us or I've taken Finn out by myself, I am not putting any pressure on us to do that too often at this stage. We enjoy being home and having the comfort of the routine we are building and that just feels too precious to me to disrupt it too much. I've decided to wait until the new year before trying different groups and activities with Finn so we can all just soak up the comfort of home for as long as possible. I know it will be good for both of us to socialise and have new experiences but at the moment we are happy as we are! 

Most of the time, I can't believe it's all happening and I'm actually a Mum. I cherish the moments when Finn and I just stare at each other, trying to take each other in and figure each other out. The love I feel for him is wild. Watching him and Tom bond is like nothing else. I can't wait to watch Finn grow and discover and to see the world through his eyes. We have so many memories to make!

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On baking along with GBBO

Baking has been one of my favourite hobbies for as long as I can remember. As soon as I knew how to make a basic sponge cake or fairy cake/buns that was me hooked! Whilst I was at University the first time, it was my favourite stress reliever which I think my housemates were also thankful for! It was also a bit of a saviour during lockdown last year and it gave me chance to try out recipes that I'd always wanted to attempt. 
This year I decided to bake along with the Great British Bake Off which has been a really fun challenge! As there's only one week left, I thought I'd share the selection of recipes I've tried out in case you'd like to have a go. Most of them have been fairly basic as life has gotten a lot busier so I didn't have the same amount of time each week to squeeze a bake in! 
Cake Week 
This was the only week I cheated because we had just come back from our holiday and I'd been looking everywhere for this Guinea Pig cake and finally found it! We have two very pampered Guinea Pigs so these days I go mad for anything that has piggies on it! I'll make up for cake week for the Final!

Biscuit Week 
At the time of biscuit week, we were exploring becoming Gluten Free as we thought one of us seemed to be having a reaction to it so this was my first ever GF bake. They were really tasty and I'd make them again! The recipe didn't call for dipping them in chocolate but my heart did so I melted some dark chocolate and dunked them all. They had a really nice buttery texture just as normal shortbread would! 
Here is the recipe from My Gluten Free Guide: https://www.mygfguide.com/gluten-free-shortbread-biscuits/ 

Bread Week I started experimenting with bread during lockdown and came across a few simple recipes that have become a bit of a staple for us! I love cooking as well and we have home cooked meals just about every night and the following recipe usually accompanies homemade curry. It's very easy and only takes about 15 minutes to make. The dough can be pretty sticky so it's a little messy but they're so tasty! 

Pinch of Nom Naan Breads - this recipe isn't available online but is in their cookbook - https://pinchofnom.com/recipes/simple-naan-bread/ 

I'd really recommend this book, it's got lots of tasty low fat recipes in - many of which have become staples in our kitchen. As an idea - these breads only require a few ingredients including Greek Yogurt and Self-Raising Flour. They get a lovely rise and sometimes create a bit of a pocket, almost like a pita bread. I'm not sure how I've managed to do that though!! 

Dessert Week 
This was my favourite week I think! I spent a while trying to think of 

what I could just do a small amount of and came across a recipe for individual cheesecakes. I set them in whatever jars I have - we seem to have a few of these glass ramekins sitting around (not because we sometimes buy the GU pots or anything 😉) so they were perfect for this. I landed on vanilla and white chocolate and very loosely based it on this recipe from Jane's Patisserie - https://www.janespatisserie.com/2021/03/06/mini-easter-cheesecakes/  

I say loosely because you can't really go wrong with a cheesecake recipe that doesn't require any baking I don't think! I used hobnobs as the biscuit base (YUM) and used melted Milkybar Chocolate and vanilla bean paste which is just an absolute game changer in my opinion! I use the Dr Oetker one (this is what it looks like). I crushed up a few Milkybar buttons and popped them on top! They were delicious. 

German Week

This was an interesting theme and one that was slightly tricky. I absolutely LOVE Black Forest flavours, chocolate and cherry is my ultimate combination and I love apple strudel too with a bit of cream or custard but unfortunately, I'm the only one in the house who does, so they were out the window!

Instead, I found a recipe for Lebkuchen! I've made gingerbread cookies before but these ones are made with honey and are a lot more cake-y than crunchy like our gingerbread might be. The recipe made so many so I'd recommend doing half measures if you wanted a smaller batch. I also made some little stars that we dipped in chocolate and sprinkled with edible glitter!  I used this recipe: https://www.bbcgoodfood.com/user/831133/recipe/german-gingerbread-lebkuchen 

I realised just before making these that I didn't have the right cutter and checked out my local charity shop who just so happened to have 2 new Gingerbread cutters and a bunch of others so it's always worth checking, you never know what you might find! 

Pastry Week

I remember seeing a bit of a trend of these pastry trees a few years ago and had always wanted to try one! These are SO easy to make and make a great 'tear and share' dessert. This recipe includes Biscoff spread which seems to be as popular as ever and you can melt a little extra to use as a dip for your pastry branches. This only took about 15-20 mins to do and came out of the oven literally 1 minute before the episode started! It's not my neatest make but I was in a bit of a rush to get it finished so we didn't miss the start of the show. 
I used this recipe:  https://www.amytreasure.com/biscoff-christmas-tree/ 
I think it's a perfect Christmas Treat, served straight from the oven whilst it's still warm and gooey! You can so easily experiment with the flavours too. It's a very cheap and easy showstopper! 

Caramel Week 

I remember the first time I made these duringlockdown and wasn't expecting them to be as well received as they were! I'm still on the journey to perfecting the caramel but each time I think I'm getting a little closer to knowing when to take it off the heat and spread it on the base. As soon as we knew it was caramel week, this was the perfect excuse to make them again! This recipe makes quite a big piece of Shortbread so this one got share around 😀

I used this recipe:

 https://www.janespatisserie.com/2020/04/22/millionaires-shortbread-2/

I would really recommend Jane's Patisserie recipes - I have already used so many of them including her NYC Cookies which have been my favourite experiment so far! She has released her own cookbook too - a great one for your Christmas list! 






Free From Week 

It took me quite a while to land on a recipe for this one as it's not something I'd usually need to do. The idea was Gluten Free / Dairy Free / Vegan and I landed on a fairly basic recipe that produced some tasty treats. Although the recipe I used wasn't vegan, I did use a dairy alternative butter to make them and dark chocolate. You can easily make substitues in this recipe because it is no bake!

Here's the recipe I used for these Peanut Butter Truffles: 

https://www.sweetestmenu.com/easy-peanut-butter-balls/ 

Patisserie Week 

The week leading up to this episode was a busy one for me so I knew I didn't have time to come up with anything too fancy. I decided instead to give Madeleins a go! 

They actually were pretty tasty even though they weren't as light and fluffy as they're supposed to be! You use fresh lemon in this which gives them such a nice zesty flavour and they should definitely be served fresh from the oven. I'd like to give them another go to see if I can get them to have more air so they rise better but I was pleased with them as a first attempt. They're perfect with a cup of Earl Grey Tea!

I've never really trusted silicone bakeware because I worry about getting things out of the mould but I didn't want to make too much of an investment in the cake pan in case it wasn't used many times. I just bought a very basic silicone mould with 9 slots for this recipe and it cost less than £5. 

I used this recipe for the Madeleins:

 https://www.bbc.co.uk/food/recipes/madeleine_15211

The video was very helpful! 

Final 

I am well aware that the final hasn't happened yet but as that week is a bit of a free-for-all, we decided very quickly what we would be enjoying whilst watching it! I first made this Guinness Cake on a whim the night of St Patrick's Day and didn't expect T to love it as much as he did. I remember trying this at University many years ago and it was one of the most memorable desserts I've ever had! I can't believe it took me so long to try it for myself. The cake is so dense and not too sweet but is balanced perfectly with the sweet cream cheese frosting. I also love a pint of the black stuff so it's a total dream cake for me on every level. 

T absolutely loves this cake too and requested it for his birthday! He requests it quite often actually 😂 After I missed cake week, I agreed I'd make this for us to enjoy whilst watching the finale! I'll be making this on Monday evening and am under strict instructions that we are NOT to share ANY of this cake!!!! 
I use this recipe which is taken from one of my all time favourite bakeries: https://hummingbirdbakery.com/blogs/hummingbird-bakery-blog/st-patrick-s-day-2018  
I used to make their vanilla cupcakes all the time as my go to cupcake recipe - the batter is really runny but they are so fluffy and vanilla-y if that's a word! 



And that's a wrap! It has been the most fun to bake along with the show and test out new recipes. I'll miss having our little Tuesday nights sat watching GBBO with something yummy but it's been a lovely season. I hope you've enjoyed it too and that you can test out some of the recipes I've tried! Let me know if you do, I'd love to hear! 

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On changing seasons.

Here we are again - as usual, time has flown and has brought us back to Autumn. Although it is my favourite time of year, it's hard to believe that we're sitting here again after another pandemic filled year. Until we had our holiday this year, I hadn't really appreciated how much change we have all faced and how much we have to process. I know I took that as a sign that I need to prioritise rest and allow myself time to deal with everything that has happened in the last (almost) 2 years.

I always do my best 'processing' by the sea.

For me, the transition to autumn brings permission to hibernate - to get cosy and enjoy being home. It's also a time to cook, bake and enjoy my favourite seasonal things; soups, stews, bread, pumpkin pie, parkin and hot chocolates. It's a reason to light all the candles, snuggle up in blankets, jumpers and wooly socks. To go on long walks in the crisp fresh air and take in all the autumn colours. I've also been sea-swimming regularly and in the colder months it is even more refreshing and awakening and I love getting wrapped up with a flask of something hot afterwards. This year I plan on swimming right through winter - wish me luck! 

Mount Stewart - my favourite place to walk in Autumn

I decided to mark the transition in our home this time and I love the decor I've managed to find, though the challenge is to stop adding to it! I made a very simple leaf garland and some Pumpkins from old jumpers that I got from our local Charity shop. They were a fun and easy make and are decorations I can use again! I plan on doing some foraging for pine cones and acorns to bring a bit more nature indoors. I have perhaps mentioned this before but a number of years ago I read The Little Book of Hygge by Meik Wiking and it really changed my perspective on the autumn/winter months. I appreciate them so much more now! 

The shift in seasons for me is happening both literally and metaphorically. After a lot of hard work and the most stress I've ever experienced - I have recently changed from student to post-grad again. Although our graduation ceremony won't take place until spring 2022, I have officially passed my MA degree and my certificate and transcript is making its' way to me. I learnt so much through this degree, and so many life-changing things happened whilst I was trying to complete it. Job changes, house moves, country moves and new relationships to name a few. I enjoyed my final research piece and for once am proud of myself for achieving that milestone whilst the world was so influx. For those interested, my MA was in Theology, and studying it at this level totally changed my perspective on faith and religion, and although I won't go in to that here - I feel a greater sense of freedom on the other side of it than I did going into it - I had many, many questions and it was good to come across so many different perspectives. What I will say is that Church and I have a complicated relationship and I am taking a very deliberate break from it whilst I continue to explore my own spirituality and beliefs. I am happy to be in that place with it - for something like theology - there are of course no hard and fast answers, so I will see how it evolves for me. 

The next change on the very near horizon is my job. After just over 2.5 years, I am getting ready to move on from my first job in Northern Ireland. Whilst I do feel nervous about the transition, I know it will be a positive change for me. My head knows it is ready for a new challenge and to physically get back out into the world after working from home since March 2020. I hope to meet new people, try new things and find different opportunities. I have trusted my gut instinct for many of the big moves in my life and this one felt so right or "serendipitious" as a few people have called it. Everything fell into place to make my new role happen and I feel deeply grateful for it. 

It has been a difficult year for our family as we have navigated the loss of my Grandad and other challenges that are coming our way. Especially lately, I have been navigating feelings of guilt for not physically being there to support whilst also knowing that if I hadn't made the move, I wouldn't be in a position where I am truly living the life I'd always dreamed of. I am sure that some of us are just born with a "wanderlust" spirit and we feel compelled to carve out our own path in new places, but it always carries such sacrifice. Tom and I will soon be reaching our 2 year anniversary - he has been the best support I could ever have imagined. He has truly been a rock whilst I greived, met deadlines, agonised over big decisions and all that's in between. 

I'll conclude with this image, taken on our recent holiday to Donegal. A rainbow on Portnoo beach; a sign of hope. A reminder of the beauty we can find even when we're in the middle of a storm.

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