On walking and peace.

A couple of years ago on one of my internet based tangents, I stumbled upon a book called 'The little book of Hygge' by Meik Wiking. Intrigued, I added it to my Christmas List and read it in one sitting. I loved every page. The concept of Hygge; cosiness, togetherness, slowing down, being present - these were all things I wanted to do more and be less 'busy.' I became obsessed with buying candles and trying to create a cosy atmosphere to invite people into. Sitting around a fire, putting on blankets, drinking hot chocolates and having slow days with people I love - it put such a different spin on what was already my favourite season (autumn) leading into what felt like a very long winter last year.

As soon as spring came, I decided it was time to put the blankets to one side and step out to enjoy the sun whilst it lasted (being classically British and pessimistic toward the weather). When the nights became longer, I started going on evening walks - just locally or in nearby parks. It became part of my rhythm and soon, part of my freedom and healing. 

Until I started walking and taking a break from screens, I didn't realise how busy my head had become. There wasn't much space for creativity or new ideas, not much silence or being in the here and now. It's funny how something so simple can be so profound. But I started to notice so much more; different trees, beautiful flowers, animals, birdsong, strangers walking their dogs, the views, the wind or the sound of silence. Walking started to bring me back to the moment and began to make way for new ideas, solutions to work problems, changes to make or things to let go. In fact, I've written this blog post in my head on just about every walk I've been on lately! 

My very good friend suggested a book she thought I might like which I decided to rent as an audiobook and I was genuinely (!) really sad when it ended. It was called Walking Home by Clare Balding (a famous sports commentator in the UK) which she narrated herself. It was such a lovely book - filled with stories about walking; the different journeys she and others had taken and how walking had in some way become quite transformative for them. Clare presented a radio show where she would go on walks with people she hadn't met before and interviewed them on the way (I still need to listen out for that!) and some of the groups were formed for specific purposes - grief or bereavement, mental health, fitness and many others.

I also read A Philosophy of Walking by Frédéric Gros which was so interesting and I discovered that I certainly am not the first person to find walking to be a healing balm. Gros said 'You don't walk to kill time but to welcome it, to pick off it's leaves and petals one by one, second by second.' Another book that ties together mindfulness and walking along with offering practical tips is Walk: The path to a slower, more mindful life by Sholto Radford.  

There has been a lot of unexpected change in my life recently and for me, walking has helped me to stay mindful - to be here, thankful for what is in front of me, appreciative of nature and my surroundings and staying grounded. It's been a season of putting one foot in front of the other, sometimes going round in circles but in small ways moving forwards, never feeling worse for stepping out the door. It's given me fresh perspective and a healthier, more peaceful mind as well as keeping my body moving and motivated. What became a way to make the most of the good weather has now become a positive part of my routine and I can feel my own strength returning to me.

I don't normally take my phone with me now, but I've managed to capture a few of the moments of beauty here: 

Feeling like a challenge; I decided to sign up to do a fundraising event for a local hospice which involves doing a 13 mile midnight walk on Saturday 8th September. I think it will be a good way to push myself whilst thinking of and doing something tangible for others and to walk alongside people who have different stories to me.

I'd love to hear any tips, any great walks you've done or how walking has helped you so please feel free to share!

Love, 

S x

(P.s. If you would like to sponsor me for the walk - follow this link - all funds will go directly to Overgate Hospice). 

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On rediscovering reading.

I've always loved reading. Being a natural born introvert, it is the perfect hobby. But after I graduated University (already a scary amount of years ago!) I lost my way with it. I'd mainly binge on holiday, where I'd pick up whatever random books people had left behind in the hotel, though it was never much of any substance but it was nice to entertain my imagination for a couple of weeks all the same.

With 2017 approaching, I decided to set resolutions (as always), the main one being to read more. I discovered Goodreads - a website packed with book recommendations, reviews and ways to share your recent reads with others. It also allows you to keep track of what you've read and set yourself reading challenges. For 2017, I started out with 20 as my goal and soon doubled it.

I asked for recommendations from my Facebook friends and set about reading a couple of those and it all sort of snowballed from there. I now have a reading list as long as my arm (and it is always growing) and I've tried to challenge myself to explore different themes and genres. I really needed to branch out from my very niche theme of cowboy fiction, so to Goodreads I went!

I visit our local library on an almost weekly basis now and am so grateful that our town thought it was important enough to invest in a new library whilst many others are closing them down. It also saves me a lot of money and shelf storage! Our library has a great section on audiobooks which have now replaced country music on my driving trips!

I tend to veer towards non-fiction; memoirs are usually the ones I can never put down and I do hang out a lot in the Faith section but I've been delving back into fiction in-between some of the heavier stuff. I thought it would be fun to share some of my favourites from recent times and as always, would welcome any other choices.


1) Bob Goff - Everybody Always (non-fiction). I admire this guy so much. I was so excited to be in the US when this book was released and purposefully made myself read this slowly so I didn't devour it in an instant. His writing is pure, humble and kind. We all have a lot to learn from him. Bob sends all the profits from his first book, Love Does (also amazing) to his non-profit (of the same name) which is doing insanely courageous work.

2) Gail Honeyman - Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine (fiction). This was a debut book and it absolutely blew me away. I have never felt such a strong connection to a character before, but there was something so genuine, heart-warming and pure about Eleanor. It was a beautiful read, one which I'm sure I'll delve into again.

3) Brené Brown - Braving the Wilderness (non-fiction). Brené writes with such convincing authority. She has walked out, wrestled with and been challenged by what she shares and asks of others. Her works are thoroughly researched and I cannot stress how needed her wisdom is. I highlighted line after line and folded over nearly every corner of this book to go back to - it is gold. 

4) Jodi Picoult - Small Great Things (fiction). This was a heavy, emotional read that was focussed on some very difficult subjects. Some of the reviews for this were mixed - but it made me think and do further research, so I think that makes it a success!

5) Shauna Niequist - Present Over Perfect (non-fiction). For me, Shauna is up there in my list of heroes (along with Bob Goff) and I told approximately anyone I've met since I read this that they too, need to read it. This book led me to do a lot of re-evaluating, deciding what is important to me and what I should dedicate my time to. I adore her poetic style and the way she walks with such integrity.

If you're interested - here is my Goodreads page; it's a great community, I hope you decide to join it too!

Love, S x

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On being less busy

Photo cred

"Sarah, I know you're busy but..."

Something triggered in me last year that made me tired of hearing those words. I didn't want that reputation anymore, that feeling of running myself ragged and filling every possible moment with purpose, purpose and more purpose. And for what? I started to crave something different, to use my time better and to add in some time for intentional rest.

I can't really say when it began, but I thought about one thing I could add in that was purely for my own enjoyment. So I decided to sign up for a Cineworld card. Oh, how I loved that card. I could go to the cinema any time I wanted, see any film multiple times and didn't have to pay anything extra. I started going once, sometimes twice a week for some 'me only' time to get lost in the moment. I saw some absolutely awful films that I am so glad I didn't pay £10 for (the card was less than £20 per month) and others which moved me so much that it took me days to snap out of it. It was simple, but it was a start. Around the same time, once I'd become settled in my Church I had made a very conscious decision not to over-commit. I said yes to singing in the band and being in a small group but not much more than that. Those were my things that I felt able to give to well, without tiring myself out and doing things because I felt obligated.

Once I started my new job, I really had to keep a hold of what I'd already put in place. The latter part of my year involves lots of conferences and travel, so it is tricky to maintain any kind of balance. In many ways, life now is much 'busier' than it has ever been and yet I feel (generally!) more at peace than ever. I have changed the way I look at my time, I think carefully about what I say yes to and ensure that rest is in there somewhere. Of course, I don't get it right all the time but I have been so aware that I am the only person responsible for how I use my time, and no-one else is to blame for my burnout. Learning about healthy boundaries and adding them to my life has been such a game-changer. For the first time, I feel like I can speak to subjects such as boundaries and self-care from a place of integrity, knowing this is something I am trying to do as I learn to love and care for myself as well as others.

Speaking from a Christian perspective, there are so many demands upon us. We are undoubtedly called to be active people; looking out for lost, hurting, suffering people. Acting out against injustice. So much needs to be done, we cannot ignore it. We feel these pulls and calls from our Church and all the things we 'should' be a part of, things we 'ought' to volunteer for and whilst those things are not bad, and I don't doubt that we must be active within our community - I really believe we have to rethink some things.

Burn-out is too high amongst our leaders. They are too stretched and cannot possibly live up to the unrealistic expectations put upon them. They are human beings with their own lives - we must get better at trusting them to use their time in the way that they feel is wisest.

Though it's all well and good me saying that I only say 'yes' to one thing, that leaves others picking up the slack. But if we all played our small part, the thing that gives us life too, it wouldn't all fall to the few and I'd bet that we'd be a little happier in our service, leading in turn to us being a more efficient body. One person cannot possibly be the equivalent of 30 body parts.

"God is more concerned with our hearts than he is with our outward compliance...We must always say yes out of a heart of love. When our motive is fear, we love not." (Cloud & Townsend)

We are free to say no and we shouldn't we feel the need to justify that. Nor should we feel manipulated into saying yes. I think it's really important that we consider why we feel we have committed to something. Are we doing it out of guilt - what if no-one else steps up? Out of fear - how will they react if I say no? Obligation - they'll expect me to do it? Reputation - what will they think of me? Worth - what am I without my actions/service? Fear?

These are important conversations, and ones I feel like we really need to be having more - especially for leaders. It is up to us as individuals to decide what we do with the precious lot we have been given and we shouldn't feel guilty for allowing space to take care of ourselves. I absolutely believe in giving our time to serve and support others and I have tried to prioritise that throughout my life. Volunteering is very important to me and I think it's something we can all make space for, even if it's a teeny commitment. An hour a month can change someone's life.

"Wisdom makes decisions today that will still be good tomorrow." Lysa Terkuerst

You are passionate about specific things for a reason - go do something with it! And if you are involved in too much - take something out! Think of something you can add in for you! When I am able to be routined (as in physically in one place for the bulk of the week) I am quite strict with my time. I try to make sure I exercise, cook healthy food, read, rest, see friends & family, host, travel and have quiet nights on the sofa. My work is my ministry and I have to manage that well so it doesn't take over my life. We can't give from empty - that just brings all sorts of resentment. I've tried to view my time in the same way as I view my financial budgets - what could be the impact later down the line if I say yes to this? What will I have to sacrifice next month if I do this now? Do I have the reserves to be involved in this? Is it going to be better for me later this week if I just stay in tonight? [Some people say I think too much, I disagree. Not really...I'm working on it 😉]

Below are a few books that have really inspired my thoughts and actions around this subject. My hope is that we will become less 'busy' and frantic in our mind sets, but instead we manage our time wisely so that we are able to give well to the things that are meaningful and life giving for us.

 

Boundaries 

The Best Yes

                                                                                             

Present Over Perfect

[I was recently asked to represent my workplace in doing a radio interview on this subject. If you want to listen to a clip of it follow this link]

Love,

S x

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On learning to be.

Me again!

As I reach another crossroads in my life, one which was perhaps more spontaneous than I might have liked but exciting nonetheless, I have tried to carve out some time to do one of my favourite pastimes; reflect. 

Since about February of this year, I have spent one hour, once a month, speaking to a lady who has become my mentor. When I embarked on the mentoring journey, I never would have guessed how powerful it would be for me. We spent time getting to know one another via telephone, but of course, she would only know what I chose to share about me. She is completely outside of my situation, knows very little about where I'm from, my quirks, insecurities, sense of humour or working life. She has been delightfully blunt where I have needed it, and perhaps that is why it has been so transformative. 

My initial reason for seeking mentoring was hitting a rough patch at work, where I was (silently) having a confidence crisis. I felt like every mistake I made cancelled out every good thing I'd done and concluded that I was a terrible employee. I didn't want to stay in that place. Throughout our initial conversations, we set goals, with deadlines (I heart deadlines) and I set to work. Fast forward only a few months, I am soon to start a new job, with a fresh confidence, a greater understanding of my skill set, more motivation and a thankful heart. 

I didn't see any of this coming really, but when the opportunity arose, I knew I had to grab it with both hands. I soon start work with Time for God (TfG) and will get to fill my days visiting volunteers across the UK who come from all over the world to give a year of their lives to serve in all different contexts. I have had the most wonderful time in my current role, and feel so thankful for the opportunities it has afforded me and for the friends who have embraced me. There really hasn't been a day there where I haven't had a real laugh. I will miss it very much. 

To link back to the title, my most recent lesson from my mentor is one that is just so obvious but until someone who isn't you says it, you don't see it. I overcame my confidence crisis, learnt to manage stress and became more productive. But once conquered in this situation, given that we're so accustomed to living stressed-out lives, I just transferred it to my new situation. 'It's all new, I have so much to do before I start, how will I process saying goodbye, I'm not in a routine anymore, AHHHH.' Then I got asked a great question; why? Why was I getting so stressed out; I couldn't answer. My planning nature once again got a hold of me, along with the perfectionist of wanting it all to be done in record time, but for no good reason. I have been reminded to enjoy the moment. Soak up the final few days with colleagues I have loved working with, celebrating what has been achieved there and slowly preparing to transition into the new. To be present, fully, in the now and to switch off my worries about the next step. It's all sat there waiting for me. Why be stressed about it?  

If anything here resonates, I would strongly recommend finding a mentor figure. Accountability is so powerful. I have used this to focus on my working life, but it has naturally crossed over into my personal life and it has been my favourite decision this year. If you are interested, I used The Aspire Foundation, recommended to me by a colleague/friend which is an initiative for women. I'm sure there are other organisations which also cater for men. 

This, of course, is a daily battle and one which I want to bring to the forefront of my mind. To grapple with stressed out thoughts, to stop and take a minute, to meditate in a way that relaxes me and to learn to let go if things don't work out how I wanted them to. As I look back on this time, I can see how I've grown, through inward transformation, and I'm hopeful that I can take all these great lessons forward with me. Here goes nothing...!

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The mess behind the message

Back in high school, in a moment of madness, I decided to study art. I am by no stretch of the imagination an artist, and am certainly average at best but have always admired those that  do have the gift. One of the people who grabbed my attention during my studies was Salvador Dalí. To some, he was simply a bit crackers but I think he was quite the genius. I was lucky enough to visit one of his galleries in St Petersburg, Florida. One of the paintings I saw there, is one I often refer to when I realise once again, that I’ve gone way too far into my own head and need to regain some perspective.  

http://thedali.org/exhibit/gala-contemplating-mediterranean-sea/

This painting, struck me more than any I’ve ever seen. The approximate size of this piece is 250cm x 190cm (according to the website) which might give a good idea of the scale we’re talking about. The detail up close, is nothing short of incredible. And then, you step back 20 metres. Suddenly, the picture transforms into something else and reveals a portrait of Abraham Lincoln. It is crazy. 

What does this have to do with life? Well, I am Sarah and I am a serial over-thinker. I love personal reflection, I am a true introvert and will usually be found in a coffee shop trying desperately to find space and make sense of everything I’ve seen. It’s also why I write, as a means of getting at least some of the things rattling around in my very busy mind onto paper. But sometimes, this can be a dangerous practice. 

Mix three new starts in two years, and I mean full new starts; moving house, area, job, or even country - and the results are somewhat overwhelming. You learn so much about yourself when you are pushed out of your comfort zone. Just when you think you really know who you are, you’re thrown into a fresh set of circumstances and you simply have to adapt. You begin to see things you didn’t know about you. You carry that forward into your next stage, and you find yourself trying to show a whole new bunch of people who you are and what you’re about. Well, I’ve done that so many times in my relatively short number of years that all of a sudden, I couldn’t really remember who I was. I can articulate who I am, my core values - but who am I after all those ‘things’ I’ve just experienced? All the new things, heartbreaking things in some cases, that I’ve seen? After meeting all those people who’ve impacted my life, loved me, challenged me, hurt me, betrayed me or misunderstood me? What is my role in this new place, where do I fit, who will my true friends be, where should I put my roots? Who am I now? 

The challenge for me has been this - how will these new people love me, when I feel like such a hot mess? Can’t I just hide the behind the scenes and show them the best bits, once I’ve dealt with it all myself? The biggest battle can often be when we feel as though we aren’t our best selves, and the fear that follows of how we are perceived. What will they think of me, what if they think I’m always this negative? Should I be less this, more that? No. You should be who you are, and so should I. We are human beings (in case you didn’t know). We have good days, we have bad days. Some days we need to receive grace, some days we need to give grace. We are called to love one another through the good, the bad and the ugly. Does that mean we only deserve love when we are rainbows and butterflies?  Heck, no. 

This, is the beauty of community. I will never stop talking about community, because I believe to my very core that we were born with a desire for it. A yearning to know that we belong, that someone understands us, that we have acceptance, friends, people we can depend on and a place to gain perspective. When I get too wrapped up in my head - what makes me step back 20 metres to see a different picture entirely is community. Those that can tell me what they see when they look at me. Those that listen, advice, counsel, snap me out of it - and promise to journey through it all with me. But the real joy comes after this. That once they’ve pulled me out of the darkness and back into the light, I am closer to being restored and can offer this in return. We need each other. We need to be for each other, however ugly we might feel in ourselves - we deserve each other. However many times we need to be reminded of it, we are each so worth loving. 

http://soworthloving.tumblr.com/page/2

So here is my prayer. That we wont be afraid to show our mess and not just our message. That we can be real, and raw and unapologetically ourselves. That we can do this together, sharing  and showing one another grace that we were so undeservedly given. That we would accept who we are, and know that we are loved unconditionally in whatever stage we are at; the good, the bad or the ugly. 

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On being content.

Let's just pretend that it hasn't been 9 months since I last sat down to write, OK? Good. The past few months have felt like the craziest rollercoaster and I haven't really had much time between rides to sit and gather my thoughts. It's felt like one minute, I'm in Central Park eating PB&J sandwiches with 9 kids who've never left their city before, then I've blinked and I'm atop the Yorkshire hills with two American friends sipping on an orange and lemonade that cost me £4.50 and now I'm sat in a coffee shop in Oxford resting my weary legs having spent the day navigating through various groups of tourists who seem to have no spatial awareness.

It's hard to believe how much change I've experienced lately, how many friends I've gained and done life with for short bursts, before I've run head first into the next adventure. I think in all of this upheaval, what my heart has really been searching for is contentment. A continual feeling of knowing that right here, right now, is where I'm supposed to be. That this stop on the ride is planned and predestined and the people who surround me are meant to be there, to enjoy this season with me for however long it will last.

A few short weeks ago, I left my beloved home once again and started work in Oxfordshire. It was by no means an easy move. That 3 1/2 hour journey felt like a long and lonely one (perhaps because it took me nearly 5!) surrounded by my vacuum packed belongings, as I headed to a place I had never really planned on going. But I can feel it. The knowing that this is it, the place I've been searching for. Contentment.

Of course, life isn't all of a sudden picture perfect. There have been a couple of twists and turns so far but that is to be expected. There was just something about this move that felt inexplicably right. It wasn't part of my master plan, and I certainly didn't see it coming. My heart has always belonged to the North but I have to say, the adjustment has felt quite smooth. My accent thus far remains un-mocked, (in fact it has been enjoyed!) though it has, on occasion, been misunderstood and many natives of the South have questioned what caused me to leave the magnificent hills of Yorkshire for such a town as Didcot, to which I can only answer "this job." But there's something about being able to hop on a train at the weekend and wander through the streets that inspired the likes of Jane Austen and C.S. Lewis that suits my soul.

You see, contentment is a choice. Whether or not I thought I'd be where I am, I can chose to be happy here without yearning for somewhere else. Somewhere else could be better, but this is where I am choosing to be. We can either be constantly looking at other people's gardens, wishing ours were as lush or as well decorated as theirs, or we can tend to our own and appreciate its' beauty for what it is. It's all too easy today to become distracted by social media, as we all so willingly throw out our carefully selected highlights for the world to see but as soon as we scroll the news feeds of others, we quickly begin to feel like our adventures just aren't quite as exciting as we first thought. We devalue ourselves all too easily. We constantly try to go one better, quietly competing with each other and without realising it, we've become discontent with our gifts, talents or even lives, wishing they could be as good as we perceive others' to be. 

There is a time to nurture your own garden, to work on loving and spending time with yourself.  And in doing so, I must urge you to learn not to compare your life, your everyday comings and goings with anyone else's. We each have our own path to walk down, our own choices to make, experiences to enjoy or sometimes, endure and that is what makes us unique. We must learn to celebrate these differences, instead of feeling inadequate when we feel as though we don't quite measure up to our neighbours. In our constant comparisons, we lose so much of our own freedom to enjoy what has been gifted to us so graciously.We must learn (or sometimes, fight) to feel that we have done enough, we have enough and know that we are good enough. When we truly grasp contentment, we don't look at what our neighbour has been given and feel a lack for ourselves, because we appreciate that we have what we need, and they have what they need. We are able to celebrate the blessings received by others because we appreciate the blessings bestowed unto ourselves. 

"God has promised to supply all our needs. What we don't have now we don't need now." Elisabeth Elliot

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Your Best Yes.

“Saying yes all the time won’t make me wonder woman, it will make me a worn-out woman.” Lysa Terkuerst I have just finished reading a book called 'The Best Yes' by Lysa Terkuerst. I loved every word of it. I have to say, it felt good to actually find time again to sit down and read a book, so the fact that it offered some pretty transformational stuff was a real bonus! It was packed to the rafters with simple truths that so many of us have forgotten in and amongst the busyness of our lives. 
As I settle in to a new routine, I have really started to process all the things I learnt in my time in America. One of the things I was not very good at over there was saying 'no.' I love to serve, love to make things happen and love to be on the move but this soon led me to disaster. Overwhelmed by all the things I could be doing, the people I could be helping, the meals I could be preparing, I soon forgot how to take care of myself. Many of the yes's I said were good but they were rarely directed at myself. I soon became so consumed by all the yes's I could be saying for others that I was unable to sleep properly, to control my tears and to switch off and prioritise rest. In the end, I had utterly lost myself. 
As Christians, we are called to some quite simple but highly important actions:

Jesus said, “‘Love the Lord your God with all your passion and prayer and intelligence.’ This is the most important, the first on any list. But there is a second to set alongside it: ‘Love others as well as you love yourself.’ These two commands are pegs; everything in God’s Law and the Prophets hangs from them.”

Matthew 22:37-40
How can we love others, if we don't know how to love ourselves? How do we find others important, if we don't believe we ourselves are important? How to we truly take care of others, if we don't know how to care for ourselves? The more we see of the world, the more we see how hurting and broken it is. Truthfully, there will always be something that we could be doing to serve someone else. But if in the midst of our service, we are neglecting ourselves - we have missed the mark. I cannot be all, see all, hear all and do all. I cannot give out of an empty store. If I allow my mind to be constantly filled with the needs of others, my own needs soon escape and they go on ignored. If I am trying to help someone else and make them feel important, but do not see myself as important, how effective can I really be? 
I am not much of a social networker these days, but I do daily check my beloved Instagram. I follow an organisation called 'So Worth Loving' who post so many little inspirations. Here's a good un I read the other day:

‘“Surround yourself with people who build you up and inspire you not to give up” - Concious magazine. Loving people comes as you learn to love yourself. Community can be your safe escape. When you don’t have it in you to love on yourself you can lean into the people around you to lift you up. Let the way they love you bring hope that you will get through. With community, there is hope.’

Sometimes, when we have neglected ourselves for so long, there is a point at which we break and recognise the need for change. It isn't easy. In order to push through, we need each other, we need friends who love us and care for us to help bind back together our broken hearts. One thing I realised in the US was that however much people complimented me, encouraged me and built me up - it never felt like enough. In my mind, I was constantly thinking; 'but I could've done that better,' 'but I shouldn't have said that,' 'there is more I could be doing.' I didn't allow myself to accept the kindness being offered because I didn't think I deserved it. I was 'just doing my job.' But now I am on a new journey. 

Saying no is not easy. Trying to prioritise myself feels extremely unnatural. Listening to myself and what I need feels odd. But I cannot live a life without such boundaries without burning out and becoming useful to no-one. For the first time, I am not rushing myself through this season but allowing my heart and head the time it needs to heal, hear and feel truth. The biggest lesson I have taken from the aforementioned book is that I can say 100 yes's to all sorts of seemingly wonderful things- but in doing that, I could be saying one big fat no to something that could've been the best thing for me. If I sign up to 10 different great things; serving at Church, volunteering at a Charity, getting back into youth ministry, taking on extra things at work - then I stretch myself so far that I cannot do them all well. However, if I sit - weigh up decisions, see if it fits in my schedule, check how much time I can dedicate to it, how well I can do it then that could be one, huge best yes that truly benefits everyone. 

Boundaries are so healthy and we all need not only to have them in our lives but also protect them. Right now, I am in a time of rebuilding and strengthening. I don't have much energy or strength to take on much more than I have. I am at peace with that. I owe myself this time and am so thankful that I have such close friends who are picking me up, loving me and pouring in to me. I do not have to justify my decisions to anyone on earth and to me, that feels like freedom! Today, I need to be in the comfort of my safety zone and though I won't stay there forever - it's the only place I can focus on right now.

‘Every day we make choices. Then our choices make us.’

Lysa Terkuerst. 

What choices can you make today that will give you a better tomorrow?

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